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Funny: The Professional
  • The Professional has a darkly funny moment in which corrupt cop/Psycho for Hire Norman Stansfield pauses in the middle of raiding a drug holder's apartment to discuss classical music with the owner.
    Stansfield: We said noon — I've got one minute past. (a long silence) You don't like Beethoven. You don't know what you're missing: overtures like that get my... juices flowing. So powerful. But after his openings, to be honest, he does tend to get a little fucking boring. (he laughs) That's why I stopped!
    (he sighs and turns to the thugs behind him)
    Stansfield: Toss the apartment.
    (as they start ransacking the place, Stansfield continues)
    Stansfield: You're a Mozart fan — I love him too. I looooove Mozart! (in a very bad German accent) He vos Austrian you know? (in ordinary voice) But for this kind of work.... (he mimes playing the piano on the mantlepiece) he's a little light. So I tend to go for the heavier guys. Check out Brahms — he's good too.
  • "...'ello, pilgrem."
  • For a regular comedy moment: Mathilda just fired six shots at random. Cut to Léon and Mathilda walking down the street, carrying their belongings.
    Léon: Mathilda, don't you ever do that again or I'll break your head. You got that?
    Mathilda: Okay.
    Léon: I don't work like that. It's not professional. There is rules!
    Mathilda: Okay.
    Léon: And stop saying "okay" all the time. Okay?
    Mathilda: Okay.
    Léon: Good.
  • The scene in the unedited version where Léon gives Mathilda a target practice lesson... in the middle of a drug dealer hit. You can hear the guy murmur "What the fuck is this?" in disbelief a couple of times until Léon puts him down for good.
  • Léon showing Tony his new apprentice.
    Tony: Isn't there supposed to be an age limit?
  • Stansfield's reaction to being shot in the shoulder has less to do with being wounded and more to do with being pissed his suit's ruined. He also wanders absent-mindedly around the apartment following the raid, including into the path of his underlings' weapons and has to be led out by his second-in-command.
  • A bit of Cringe Comedy, but it's pretty funny watching Mathilda troll the hotel owner by telling him Léon isn't her father, he's her lover. The guy's Reaction Shot is priceless.

The Princess DiariesFunny/FilmProject Million

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