Funny / The Polar Express
Never be too quick to drink a hobo's coffee.
  • Pretty much everything that Know-It-All says, thanks to Eddie Deezen being able to make anything sound funny with his voice.
    • First off:
    Know-it-All Boy: It was five minutes to midnight four minutes ago.
    Conductor: Exactly!
    Hero Girl: It's still 5 minutes to 12!
    Know-It-All (Reading the word punched on his ticket with his thumb over one letter): "Lean?" Whatever that's supposed to mean.
    Conductor (Examining the ticket): "Lean" is spelled with four letters. I believe I punched five.
    (Hands it back)
    Know-It-All: Hey, are you sayin' I don't know how to...(Reads it again and looks back sheepishly) Oh. I'm sorry. It says "Learn". My mistake.
    (Boards train)
    Conductor (To himself): Lesson learned.
  • When the Hero Boy meets the Hobo on the train, he offers him a "nice hot cup of Joe". As the boy drinks it, he sees the hobo takes his socks out of the coffee pot, prompting the boy to spit it out immediately.
  • A blink-and-you-miss-it one. As Hero Boy and Hero Girl are sharing their goodbye hug, the conductor briefly checks his pocket watch and makes an exasperated face that just screams "Get on with it!"
  • Hero Boy telling the hobo that he's "looking for a girl." The hobo howls with laughter and replies "Ain't we all??"
  • When the conductor takes off his hat revealing a bald top, thus eliminating any exact likeness to Tom Hanks.
  • The entirety of the caribou crossing sequence.