Funny / The Originals

• Elijah's a Deadpan Snarker. And it's great.
• When Rebekah asks Klaus and Elijah's permission to turn her current lover.

  Klaus: (to Rebekah) "It's not going to happen... sister, if we turned every man you dropped your knickers for, then human beings would cease to exist and we would have no bloody food."

• When Marcel has found out Rebekah is back in town.

  Marcel: "Why didn't you tell me your sister's back in town?"

  Klaus: "I thought it'd be more amusing for you to find out for yourself."

  Marcel: "Is there anything else that I need to know?"

  Klaus: "Only that she's grown considerably more insane in the last century."

  Marcel: "Or maybe that it was her who killed my guys."

  Klaus: "Doubtful. Unless that biker bar is frequented by small-town high school quarterbacks, I can't imagine she'd be interested."

  Marcel: "I don't have time for Mikaelson family drama. You're my guest. Keep your sister in line."

  Klaus: "I'd have a greater chance of draining the Mississippi with a straw."

• Vampire Book club, with snacks.
• After the witches' first attempt to kill Haley and her baby, Klaus confronts Sophie about it for explanation. Sophie explains Sabine had a vision about the baby, which she interpreted in the worst way possible:

  Klaus: And how, may I ask, was this particular vision interpreted?

  Sophie: ...Pretty much that your baby would bring death to all witches.

  Klaus (with a huge smile): Huh. Well, I grow fonder of this child by the second.

• Josh explaining Trance music to Davina.
  Josh: "It goes unce unce unce."
  Davina: "I'm a witch. I'm not Amish."
  • In "Fruit of the Poisoned Tree, Josh confusing Marcel's Shakespeare quote for The Lord of the Rings and then supplying a Lord of the Rings later.
• Hayley's disgusted reaction when Davina assumes that she's Klaus's wife.
• Klaus's attempts to write his memoirs are always hilarious, since they essentially consist of him forcing a compelled Camille to type up a self-justifying stream-of-consciousness rant from him.
• While on the run from Klaus, Josh answers a call from Klaus . And tries to convince the Originals that he's run off to live in Turkey. The fact that outside the window a New Orleans carnival is taking place that Klaus most likely can hear doesn't deter him.
• In Après Moi, Le Déluge when Davina has another magic induced seizure it causes a minor Earthquake to occur. At the time Rebekah, Klaus and Elijah are meeting with Sophie in the study. While it looks like the house may shake itself to pieces cue mixed looks of boredom from the Originals and the look of wide eyed terror on Sophie. It's gets extra funny when you realize that she is the only one in mortal danger because she is the only human in a room full of immortals.
• At Kieran's funeral Klaus and Elijah share a table. Klaus is somewhat depressed at the Irish wake:

  Klaus: "Seems rather uncivilised to laugh and dance around the body of a loved one."

  Elijah : "Yes, far better to practice your process of grief, Niklaus. Denial, rage and hoarding coffins in basements."

• In the flashback of 2.02, Kol takes a young Marcel to an abandoned building. He then compels a group of people to act out Hamlet for their entertainment, since Elijah's been teaching him Shakespeare. There's something darkly funny about Kol getting genuinely frustrated when one of the actors flubs his lines, and then he snaps his neck.
• Klaus and Elijah enter a Tavern the latest site of one of Kol's murder sprees. Ever the gentlemen Elijah looks to lay down his hat. Finding no coat hangers nearby he places it casually on a convenient nearby corpse.
• We see Cami drinking at a table and then see a furious Klaus stormed in to yell at her for leaving him in the car and not coming back. Basically while on the way to an epic confrontation with his father Cami stopped at the bar, told him she would be right back and just went in and started drinking. The funny part is picturing Klaus waiting in the car for who knows how long , getting frustrated and finally coming into the bar at full pout just to find Cami getting hammered. Extra points that a mere mortal Bartender told a thousand year old Vampire slash Killing machine to stay put and he did !
• Davina's plan to escape Josh's supervision involves inviting his boyfriend over to distract him. Also Josh's line from his first kiss with said boyfriend.
  "I feel like there should be applause"
• Klaus' complete exasperation when Rebekah insists on doing the Mikaelson family tradition of bonfire night.
• Kol hanging a lampshade on the fact that Esther plans to put Rebekah's soul in Cami's body...even though Marcel had a love affair with Rebekah and is currently sleeping with Cami. That's not even going into how Klaus and Finn have shown affection towards Cami, as well as Klaus and Rebekah's own closeness.

  Kol: "Kinky."

• Cami is adorable while attempting to stump an a thousand year old immortal, Elijah. Who is considered a renaissance man and well read intellectual. With trivia pursuit questions...
• Klaus' wedding present to Jackson in 2.15. Namely, the heads of the werewolf alphas who refused to surrender their alpha status to Jackson. It's reminiscent of a cat presenting a dead rodent to its owner. And then when Klaus leaves, grinning happily, Jackson bemusedly turns to Aiden and wonders if this is Klaus' way of being nice.
• Klaus and Mikael's temporary alliance, composed entirely of deadpan snarkery and 'glorious murder' as Klaus puts it, which makes the other Originals boggle with disbelief.
• In season three on the run from Mikael, Klaus and his family pretend to be nobles to gain shelter at the local Castle. As soon as they arrive in the great hall, they all stare at the finery and the stone ceilings with a mix of awe and fear until their guide Lucien tells them to stop staring. It is hilarious to think despite being dangerous and blood thirsty supernatural killers, the Mikaelsons were made dumbstruck by modern ( for the time) architecture and workmanship.
• Klaus and Lucien gatecrashing the Stryx party, drunk off their asses and making Elijah very uncomfortable. It's a ploy to give Freya time to find Lucien's missing seer, but it's obvious that Klaus enjoys playing the part of the irresponsible, drunken and loutish younger brother at Elijah's expense.
• Klaus scaring off Freya's frequent one-night stands. It's oddly endearing as well as hilarious.
• Davina complaining about being given goats to sacrifice all the time at ceremonies for her. "Just once, I'd love to get a gift card."
• Lucien warns the guy guarding Cami to "not ask her for any last words or you'll be here all weekend."
• A newly vampire Camille sees a guy talking down to a female bartender and compels him to withdraw from his ATM for a fat tip for the lady and "turn your hat around, you're an adult".
• Klaus and Elijah bring Freya up to speed on Gaspar, a vampire hunting Klaus down. What makes this so funny is the tones of all concerned: Klaus sounds like a petulant child explaining himself to the headmaster, Elijah sounds tired, like he's had to explain things like this a thousand times before, and Freya just looks exasperated by the whole thing.
  Elijah: Didn't they burn that Philistine pigsty down to the ground?
  Klaus: Pigsty? Belega was my favorite artist's retreat! Someone had to pay for that so I murdered Gaspar's brute of a father.
  Freya: And...
  Klaus: And one or two...
  Elijah: Five.
  Klaus: Five of his bloodthirsty brothers.
  Elijah: Don't forget the mistress...
  Klaus: That was an accident!
  • Even more amusingly, later on Kol is reminded of the same incident and immediately also describes Belaga as a dive. Elijah just makes a hilarious "Hah! See?" gesture to Klaus.
• The sight of Klaus at a bar wearing a cap with "Mother Trucker" written on it.
• Awakened after five years under a spell, Elijah, Kol and Rebekah feast on a bunch of convicts who'd been doing road work. Freya complains...not because of the carnage but because the "death rattles" are distracting her from a spell.
  Elijah: Kol! Would you please—— (you hear a scream off camera before everything goes silent) Thank you. You were saying?
  • Making it funnier is Elijah calmly sitting by the corpse of a convict in his suit, wiping blood from his lips with a handkerchief.
• Elijah and Marcel go to meet a contact at a diner, Elijah remarking on this meant to be clandestine but Marcel is coming up in an expensive sports car.
  Marcel: Says the man in the $5000 suit.
  Elijah: Nine. If we're counting. I'm not a barbarian.
• Hope's crush, vampire Roman, drops by to see her. He asks if he can come in and she, totally nervous, just gives a murmured nod. He dryly points out that as a vampire, "you sort of have to actually say it" in order for it to work.
• An amnesiac Elijah runs into vampire Antoinette who helps him learn more of himself. As she goes through his clothes, she muses "maybe you were a butler."
• Though the episode is mostly sad, and heart wrenching Kol entrance in the chambre de chasse is pretty darn funny considering he got sucked in When he was waiting for his wife
  Kol: Oh, bloody hell, my least favorite recurring nightmare.
• When Hope points out the events that lead to her birth Elijah becomes completely uncomfortable when she points out the fact Haley and Klaus had sex.
  Hope : When Dad got sad and drunk had a one-nighter with mom
  Elijah: Ok (at the same time)
  Hope : Who basically hated banging him.
  Elijah: We don't have to... We honestly don't have too (again at the same time)
  Hope: Then boom,loophole,miracle baby.
  Elijah: Yeah
• When Klaus turns up unexpectedly at the Salvatore school to solicit Caroline's help in curing Hope, she passes him off to a touring group of parents as a new janitor, and offers to direct him to the bathrooms. Even Klaus can't help but smile when he hear it.
• Klaus goes to help from Caroline and needs her witch daughters. It turns out the girls are chips off their mother.
  Josie: What will we get if we help?
  Caroline: The warm feeling in your heart that comes from helping a friend in need.
  Lizzie: We are in need of new cell phones.
  Josie: And permission to go to the Senior Solstice Dance. And you and Dad take the skirt lines out of the dress code. It's anti-feminist and oppressive!
  Lizzie: And not cute.
  Caroline: No to the phones. Maybe to the dance. And yes to defying the patriarchy one plaid skirt at a time.
• Klaus is about to talk to them when Alaric shoots him with a crossbow. The girls roll their eyes as Caroline just looks hilariously annoyed.