Funny / The Drew Carey Show

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

General

• The What's Wrong With This Episode episodes, where various mistakes pop up for the viewers to find. Sometimes the episodes might change to something like a puppet show or video game.
• Much of the Snark-to-Snark Combat between Drew and Mimi is indeed funny.
  • Her loud outfits and over-the-top decor are always good for a laugh. The first time Drew visits her home, the colors are so tacky and random that his eyes won't focus.

Season 1

• From Episode #2 Miss Right:
  • This comment from Drew to Mimi when he finds out she is Mr. Bell's new assistant.
  Drew: (to Mimi) Ohh, and this must be your dog. Oh, he's a big fellow, huh? I guess it's true what they say about dogs and their owners. (Beat) They look nothing alike.
  • Drew borrows his neighbor's truck for carpooling to work with his fellow co-workers. The traffic causes him to slam on the brakes.
  Drew: Learn how to signal, you jerk! (He honks the horn and it plays the first line of "Dixie".)
• From Episode #4 Nature Abhors a Vacuum:
  • Drew doesn't realized he just fired Mr. Bell's girlfriend.
  Drew: I fired Mr. Bell's pencil sharpener. OH MY GOD!
  • This exchange between Drew and Kate in Drew's kitchen after their conversation with Mr. Bell at the Warsaw Tavern.
  Kate: You put me in this position. If he still had his girlfriend, he wouldn't be going after me.
  Drew: Oh yeah? Well, if frogs could fly (Beat) well we'd still have this problem, but wouldn't it be cool?
• From Episode #5 No Two Things in Nature are Exactly Alike:
  • Mimi tricking Drew into entering Mr. Bell's office when he wasn't required to do so by Mr. Bell.
• From Episode #6 Drew Meets Lawyers:
  • Guest stars Penn & Teller as fictional lawyers "Fenn & Geller" meet with Drew at work.
  Drew: I'm sorry. You must get a lot of these nuisance lawsuits, huh?
  Fenn: Brother, you wouldn't believe what we have to deal with. We used to be personal injury lawyers. (Geller then accidentally cuts himself and starts bleeding.)
  • Drew's neighbor Peaches brings him a misprinted "I'M WITH STUPID" t-shirt that has an arrow pointed up.
  • Drew not remembering some of the lyrics to "God Bless America".
  Drew: (singing) ...from the thing, to the thing, from the thing.
• From Episode #7 Drew in Court:
  • The stuff Drew does around the ex-smokers in the carpool at the beginning.
  • In court, Drew tells the female stenographer to not type the word "modeling" (which he said in his previous statement) into the court record.
  Drew: It was the "modeling" part right? (turns to the stenographer) Uh, just don't type that down. (she continues to type away) Hey uh, stop typing. (she continues doing that) Knock it off. (she keeps typing) I said "Knock it off!" (she keeps going) The person who types this is an idiot. (the stenographer stops and gives Drew a look)
  • Lewis' answers to the standard question everyone is asked when taking the stand in a U.S. courtroom.
  Lewis: Yes......no......I mean yes.

Season 2

• The cold open dealing with Hank the Security Guard, who Drew had to fire because he was too threatening to the customers. But then he manages to intimidate Larry into re-paying ten bucks he owes Drew...
  Drew: Hank, sign right here. (hands him a clipboard)
  Hank: What for?
  Drew: I'm transferring you over to Collections. You start tomorrow.
• In the episode "Drew Blows His Promotion", Drew volunteers to make a safety training video in order to impress the big bosses and perhaps earn a promotion. But it's also his birthday, and Kate makes an edited version of the video to show at his party as a joke, adding fart noises. Drew, unaware that there are two tapes, grabs the wrong one and heads to work. We then get to see, along with the top brass at Wilfred Louder, the edits Kate made.
  • Later in the episode, Drew finds a birthday cake in his desk, which he munches on as he sulks over losing the promotion due to the video, too depressed to realize he's eating a fake prank cake made of bean curd. He then gets called up to the board room to talk to those same bosses...

Season 3

• After doing some research on Mr. Louder, the gang discovers that he invented the Cubicle. Originally, apparently, it was an actual cage, but it was discovered that only three walls were necessary, and workers will just feel trapped psychologically. Drew thinks for a moment, then says, "My God! You mean I can just walk out?"
• Drew wins the Batmobile in a contest, the actual, working, Batman Forever model Batmobile. The night after, Drew goes into a panic discovering it missing, and various authorities he calls don't take him seriously because... well, it's the Batmobile. A cop finally shows up on Drew's front door, and asks "Do these two belong to you?" What follows may be the single funniest image in the entire series.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight: Here Oswald is Robin; he would eventually voice Batman.
• Daffy Duck trying to get a job at Winfred Louder.
• Drew daring Mr. Wick to find a man cross-dressed as a woman at Winfred-Louder after Mr. Wick threatens to fire Drew's brother (who was dressed as a woman and Mr. Wick hit on him, not knowing that he was actually a man). Highlights include: Wick getting slapped in the face for using a mirror to check under a shopper's skirt, Wick trying to get the shoppers' attentions by dropping his keys and bending over, and Wick thinking that Dionne Warwick (appearing as herself) is the cross-dresser.

Season 4

• Drew, Larry, and Chuck the Security Guard find leftover cocaine in the mens' room (later revealed to have been Mr. Wick's). Chuck dabs a bit on his tongue to check if it's real.
  Chuck: Hmm...interesting...I have no idea what cocaine tastes like.
• "Sexual Perversity in Cleveland" has Oswald accepting an offer by DrugCo to have breast implants given to him (and double if he poses for the calendar). Drew and Lewis ask to see them. Oswald is annoyed by the request but decides to let them see. Then, they ask to touch them:
  Oswald: No!
  Lewis: Please?
  Oswald: Why?
  Drew: You touch 'em don't ya?
  Oswald: Well, sure.
  Lewis: We want to touch them for the same reason. You got 'em. They're there.
  Oswald: All right, but here's the deal. Left hand only. Fingertips, no palms. And no honkin'.
  • Oswald wonders why they're so obsessed seeing his breasts. "Hey, if you had a hand growing out of your head, we'd want to shake it."
  • Then, just as they're about to make physical contact, Kate walks in, and everyone scatters like cockroaches when the light turns on.
    Kate: What would I have walked in on if I'd stopped to get gas?
• "The High Road To China". Five words: Mimi sends Drew to China.
  • Oswald, Kate and Lewis are looking for Drew and immediately suspect Mimi has something to do with his absence. When they ask her, she coyly drops some not-so-subtle hints that she sent him to China, none of which they get. When Wick joins the conversation, he immediately realizes what Mimi did to Drew just from one hint.
  • Ming, the woman Drew is staying with while he's in China, tells him it will take three weeks for him to get enough money to go to the American embassy in Beijing. When Drew tells her he could fall in love with her in that amount of time, she instantly offers to drive him there herself.
• "Steve and Mimi": Pretty much everything about Drew's reaction to Steve and Mimi dating.
  • When he first sees them making out in his kitchen, he screams in horror, vomits and then runs away.
  • Drew comes back from the Warsaw to confront Steve and Mimi about their relationship, only to find them having sex in his kitchen. His reaction is as hilariously dramatic as you would expect.
  • In the end, Drew ultimately decides to be an adult about the whole situation and gives Steve and Mimi his blessing in the form of a drunken recorded message.
  • The Tag shows Oswald building a brick wall to the kitchen since Drew said he would never go there again after Steve and Mimi had sex in it.
• "Good Vibrations": Sharon pranks Drew by sneaking a vibrator into his luggage on the day he just happens to be going to Chicago to represent the store at a convention. What follows next is a series of humiliating experiences for poor Drew that the audience can't help but laugh at, even if they do feel sorry for him.
  • The vibrator is discovered by airport security, with one of the staff referring to it as "marital aid". She asks him to turn it on, which Drew doesn't know how to do. (Un)fortunately, another security personnel knows how to turn it on but not how to turn it off, forcing Drew to take his bag with the still active vibrator in it.
  • Drew is giving a speech at the convention. Unfortunately, the embarrassing incident at the airport was witnessed by other attendees who naturally mock him for it. Not helping matters is that Drew's speech — "Self-Motivation: Getting Off Your Butt and Riding a Rocket To The Top" — has a number of phrases that seem hilariously inappropriate in light of the vibrator debacle.
  • When Drew returns to work, he decides to go to the board and request they fire Mimi, still thinking she was behind the prank. Naturally, he brings the vibrator as proof and while the audience never sees it, the looks from the other characters tell us all we need to know. Then Sharon takes that precise moment to call Drew and inform him she was the one behind the prank.
  Mr. Wick (after picking up the phone): Carey, it's your other girlfriend.
  • Sharon decides to tell the office that the vibrator was hers. When Mimi asks who she is, she informs them that she is Drew's girlfriend and causes them all to erupt into laughter.

Season 5

• Pretty much the entirety of Season 5, episode 9, "Drew Cam", but mainly Kate telling Drew she's in love with him while he's doing another commercial.
  Drew: Anything you say better be about this refridgerator.
  Kate: Fine, let's talk about your refridgerator. I'm in love with it, I'm in love with your fridge.
  Drew: Who wouldn't be? Look at all the eggs it can hold!

Season 6

• When Drew nearly dies, Mimi makes sure his obituary is put in the paper as a prank. However, this triggers Drew's "Doomsday Prank" which he can't call off. Mimi is handcuffed to a chair and forced to watch as four Drew lookalikes in only underwear and glasses dance to "I'm Too Sexy."
• After a near death experience, Lewis turns to religion in hopes of getting himself and his friends into Heaven. This results in a number of frustrations for Drew, Oswald, and Kate, but it reaches a great payoff in the backyard with multiple examples of Bolt of Divine Retribution.
  Lewis: GET BACK, WHORE, SLOTH, AND PERVERT! I'M DOING GOD'S WORK! IF HE DOESN'T LIKE IT, LET HIM STOP ME! [gets struck by lightning] I'm sure that was just a coincidence. [gets struck a second time] If it happens a third time, it's not a coincidence. [gets struck a third time] Gaddangit! [gets struck a fourth time] I said "dang!" [the others help him to his feet] Quick, ya gotta hide me from God. He's gone out of His mind! He's really P.O.ed!
• "Bananas, Parts 1 & 2":
  • Drew is made the manager of Winfred-Louder's new women's store, much to the chagrin of Mimi, who believes that position should be hers. She then proceeds to subject Drew to Gaslighting that would probably be unsettling in real life, but just comes across as hilarious in the context of a sitcom. This involves putting women's panties in Drew's briefcase, making him think the store mannequins are attacking him and making him think he is being tormented by parrots.
  • Oswald and Lewis unintentionally help Mimi's plan by putting a Drew in a crown and bra made of tin foil while he is sleeping. Naturally, when the police responds to a disturbance call and find a man in a tin foil crown and bra throwing firecrackers at birds they cannot see, he ends up in a mental hospital.
  Mimi: Have the parrots stopped screaming, Clarice.
  • Upon Mimi revealing what she has done to him, Drew snaps and tries to strangle her, causing the doctor and orderlies to rush in and pull him off. Drew's rambling only makes him look even more insane.
  Drew: Tell him! Tell him, Mimi! Tell him about the underwear. Tell him about the mannequins. Tell him about the birds. Tell him about the time you mailed me to China!
  • In part 2, Kate goes to Drew's house and plays some messages to get some clue as to where he, Lewis and Oswald are. The first message is from Wick, who is having a meltdown over Drew's absence.
  Carey, it's Sunday! The store opens tomorrow and I have no idea where you are, you no-good, lazy, irresponsible deserter! I am going to rip your intestines out through your nose and whip you with them! Call me when you get in.

Season 7

• In "Bus-ted", Drew wants an apology from Mimi, but wants it "so that the whole world will know how sorry you are." How does she do that? Cue Motörhead.
• "Drew Live III":
  • Drew believes he had sex with Mimi while blackout drunk and reacts as well as you think.
  Drew (while angrily shaking John Ratzenberger): Why did you save me? Why didn't you let me die? Why didn't you let me die?
  • Drew is so disgusted with himself, he tries to take a hammer to his own penis.
  Close your eyes, little fella. It will only hurt for a minute.
  • It turns out that Drew didn't have sex with Mimi at all. What he thought was Mimi's blue eye shadow was actually make from the Blue Man Group. But that's not the really funny part. That would the reason the Blue Man Group made Drew think he slept with Mimi: they and John Ratzenberger are trying to replace Drew and his friends as the stars of the show. They even have an episode film with Ratzenberger in Drew's role and the Blue Man Group having wearing the names of Drew's friends on name tags.
• "Eat Drink Drew Woman": Drew is given a pay check to seduce Christine, the store's new, very strict boss. Drew goes on the date but genuinely falls for her and they have sex. When she finds the check made out to him to sleep with her, she is naturally furious and tells Drew that she will fire him is he ever brings up their night together. Not only does Drew refuse and shows up at her apartment to apologize, but he also leaves a recorded phone message with explicit details about them having sex for her family and her pastor hear.
• "What Women Don't Want": As Lewis is depressed over his repeated failures with women, his mother reveals to Drew that he's actually a genius. She never told Lewis this out of fear he'd be ostracized and have difficulty making friends, but Drew feels revealing this information would help him understand himself and better connect with others. Then we get this exchange.
  Lewis: [laughing maniacally] BOW DOWN BEFORE MY GIANT BRAIN! I AM A GOD! ALL OF EARTH'S WOMEN ARE MINE! [laughs some more]
  Drew: Charming, huh? Can't wait 'til we mix alcohol with that.

Season 9

Drew We're not going through his backpack.

Oswald Well that's probably for the best, every school boy knows that World War One was started when the Archduke Ferdinand was shot for going through the Kaiser's backpack.

Drew You get everything just about half right, don't ya?