After explaining Nicolas Cage being a One of Us was even more dorky than ERod himself, so much that he looked like Burt Reynolds in comparison (completed with a Burt Reynolds picture laughing at him).
When introducing to the begining of the movie, ERod is surprised that "young Nicolas Cage" looks nothing like Nicolas Cage.
ERod: That's supposed to be young Nicolas Cage?? Alright, I'll buy it. Uhm, by the way, check out this pictures of me from a few years ago. *A photo of a shirtless Antonio Banderas with ERod's mini-goaties painted.*FUEGO.
ERod points out that Blackheart's minions look more like boyband rejects.
And everytime they appear, a song of the Backstreet Boys plays.
Top 10 Fantastic Four Failures
His epic freak out concerning Jessica Alba playing Susan Storm.
Everytime the movie makes something stupid or references something ERod is a big fan of (vampires sparkling, not showing the fight between Laurent and the werewolves, ERod has to spare his rage beating up another movie.
His resuming of the relevant dialogues of the movie.
Deadpan/Bella: I like you so much, I almost made a facial expression.
Whiney/Edward: I like hair gel.
Deadpan/Bella: That was too scary. I almost reacted.
Deadpan/Bella: I love you.
Whiney/Edward: I'm a killer.
Deadpan/Bella: I think killers are sexy.
Whiney/Edward: I need more hair gel.
Twilight: New Moon
The Bullshit Answer counter.
ERod: You know, it would help your case if you explained the downsides of being super-powered, inmortal and rich.
Wanting to bust the movie early for cutting away from the vampire vs werewolf fight to follow Bella. He has to hit G.I.Joe Rise of Cobra again.
"But I'm like totally a vampire and shit. I like stickers, and Justin Timberlake and biting people."
During the New Moon review, ERod pointed about the Fan Dumb and the "Teams" for Edward and Jacob, which is parodied by having all the Blockbuster Buster characters to form different teams (ERod goes for Team Grandpa, Nerdlinger is on Team Batley, El L0ver on Team Antonio and Fedora Freddy on Team Morrigan. Then El L0ver tried to switch teams with Fedora Freddy, but was shot down.
ERod absolutely loses his shit when the movie tries to imitate a 1st person shooter, to the point that he falls off of his chair laughing.
The "Creature Feature" game
"Bunnies. Why'd it have to be bunnies?"
When Portman gets killed in the bathroom, rule #3 from Zombieland plays.
As a demon swings Pinky around,killing him, we repeatedly here this quote: "Narf!"
Celebrating the death of the Rock.
The end of the video, where it becomes a first person shooter from ERod's perspective. It even has the camera sway and an interface bar with Erod's face!
And then he writes in "iddqd" and activates God Mode!
The opening briefing at the beginning.
His decision to call the Predalien Chad.
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
"Then he recieves a call from his "Oh-so-believable-girlfriend" Michaela. Who is detailing a motorcycle. Outside. With no protection. While laying on top of it. Just for the record, detailing a motorcicle looks like this◊. NOT like this”
Pointing out that the violent robots made of household appliances are small enough to be taken out by a bat or other blunt instrument, then remembering that this is a Michael Bay movie, so explosions are inevitable.
When Devastator is ensembled:
ERod: That is the most awesome thing I've ever seen in my life. NOTHING can ruin this moment.
Devastator has to giant balls hanging in it's crotch.
ERod: (About to say a oneliner and suddenly gives up) Nah, too easy.
After watching Noah Ringer's performance, ERod has a horrified expression of disbelief and.
Miko Hughes' answering machine: Hello, this is, uh, former kid-actor Miko Hughes. I'm not in right now, so uh, leave a message.
ERod: Uhm... Hello, Miko Hughes. Uhm... You don't know me. My name is ERod, I'm the Blockbuster Buster. I want to sincerely apologise to you as you're no longer THE worst kid-actor in the movies that I review.
ERod: And Sohka hooks up with a... white-haired girl... Now. Other reviewers might want to exaggerate and say that these two characters have no chemestry. I disagree. I happen to think they have the chemestry of a rock and a piece of paper.
Because ERod promised to not joke about Chris Evans' acting, he didn't find anything to make fun off. That's until Dakota Fanning appears and he bursts up laughing hysterically.
ERod's Dakota Fanning voice: "I'm like totally a superhero and shit. And I can like predict the future and I like keep all my predictions in my sticker-book."
Tries to containg laughter again when Dakota Fanning tries to act drunk.
And again when she appears with guns.
"And Dakota Fanning does what she does best: CRY ON CUE!"
E-kara: I am a GROWNUP! (punches the wall off camera) Huh. Rum.
Top 20 F*ed-Up Batman Returns Moments
Point 13 being The Penguin's origin in the movie!verse.
The Penguin is abandoned by his parents as a baby, but it's OK. He's raised up by penguins. I'm going to say that again so it'll sink in, just in case it didn't register well the first time. HE IS RAISED BY PENGUINS! I've got nothing to add! Fucked up!
About the Penguin's parents throwing him into the river.
"So their solution is-OHMYGOD!!"
"Christopher Walken. Just... Christopher Walken. Trust me, I don't even have to explaing anything else."
Number 1 being when Batman let the Ice Princess fall from the rooftop and die. 10 minutes later, ERodis still crying from childhood trauma. 20 minutes later, ERod is still blank in depression. Only 45 minutes later, ERod is able to give a What the Hell, Hero? to Batman for not saving her.
"Oh my God! I'm like totally gonna drink some blood and shit, and then I'm gonna drink me a Yoohoo."
ERod: Pfft. Must... contain... laughter...
"OMG! The Jonas Brothers were SO ON last night. Oh, come on, you guys. I totally told you to turn what's-her-face into a vampire and shit. Now I'm gonna have to like punish you by making this random girl that you've never met do uncomfortable yoga poses." (This time around, ERod looses it.)
To spare his rage, he just threw a pencil through the characters' foreheads in the DVD case, especially when the vampires walk under water.
ERod: Shortly after convincing her dad of her virginity, Deadpan then proceeds to try to have sex with Whiney. While are you at it, don't you want to smoke some crack while setting a baby seal on fire???!!!
Has repeating the clip where Bella breaks her hand punching Jacob's face.
ERod: They should play this clip EVERY CHRISTMAS.
When Bella kissed Jacob, ERod gets pissed off since she got engaged to Edward less than 24 hours ago. ERod then starts calling a tattoo parlor to make her an appointment for a Tramp Stamp, to choose between horrible harlot or super skank.
Wild Wild West
In the movie, Gordon is crossdressing and uses a device hidden in his fake boobs to hypnotize his quarry. ERod's reaction is priceless:
ERod: Wait a minute, he has a device hidden in his tits that can hypnotize men and make them bark like dogs? Wow, they work exactly like ACTUAL TITS!!!!!
The first time he see's Gordon crossdressing, his response is a perfect "No. Just...No."
After Will Smith has the naked fight, he looks at a CD box of Will's and says. "Huh, so that's what he meant by Big Willie Power.
The Brothers Grimm
When one of the Queen's henchmen feeds a horse with spiders, the horse transforms into "Spider-Horse, Spider-Horse, Does whatever a spider-horse can∼"
ERod: You know, Spider-Horse. From that fairy tale that DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST!!
When The cute kitty that cheered him up appears, ERod gushes at it... only for said kitten to be kicked into a meat grinder. ERod screams in horror, and pauses to take a sip of water, and then continues to scream.
And happens again when clay monsters eat their own arms. ERod screams in horror, pauses to apply lip-balm, and then continunes to scream.
Nerdlinger pops up excited when ERod is about to reference Snow White because Obscurus Lupa dressed as her for Suburban Knights. ERod then has to tell him that Lupa is already dating Phelous, so a heartbroken Nerdlinger leaves the room.
ERod then realizes he can talk about the D&D movie now he's out, only for Nerdlinger still shout "SCUM!!" at the very mention of it.
For the stinger, Nerdlinger sings heartbroken. And then cheerfully signs off.
When ERod opens the video, he starts delivering a complaint about not having hispanic characters in Star Trek. Of course it was just an intentional joke, since he knew there were indeed relevant hispanic people there. Of course it's also making fun of the people who comment without watching all the video.
ERod: So for those of you who couldn't wait until this video to be over so you can type that bit of information in the comments section, feel free to punch yourselves in the face right now *punch sound and smiles* Thank you. Next time, just enjoy the joke and move on.
Blockbuster Buster has to do commercial breaks after being paid by Hispanic sponsors.
ERod: (Reading cue card) Estos frijoles estan muy buenos *cheesy smile*
The commercials end and ERod is caught in the middle of his breaks, counting the money or reading Turey el Taino.
The Film Renegado talking nonstop about El Mariachi, even while ERod cuts him off to another topic. Every once in a while, ERod checks if he's still talking.
Angry Joe's cameo for the Nº1 Hispanic Hero, thinking it's himself, and ERod has to make him understand he's not even a hero, just a gamer
Angry Joe: "Fine! Whatever! I'll go play The Witcher 2 BY MYSELF!" (leaves with a bottle of lotion)
Many quotes of El Lover's recaps are hilarious:
El Lover: So the gangster wants Muñequita to dance for him and shit, but instead she goes to Japan, and dresses like Sailor Moon, and she gets a gun, and a sword, and she fights a bunch of giant samurai mecanicos. And los mecanicos are all like [[Film/Scarface "Say hello to my little friend"]]. And Muñequita is all like "I'll go DBZ in your ass, bitch!". (Insert Dragon Ball and Sailor Moon themes)
El Lover: And she's all like *as Babydoll* "I'm going to scape from this asylum-burlesque-whore-house-anime-bliss".
El Lover: So the mamacitas need to get a lighter, and a knife, and a key, so Muñequita dances to distract the gangsters, while the rest of the mamacitas steal the things that they need, but younever get to actually see her dance because they always cut away to The Lord of the Rings, or Outer Space and shit. *Insert Powerpuff Girls*
Playing "Rica y Apretadita" from El General while the girls are fighting the robonazis.
El Lover: Look at all the MAMACITAS, bitch!!
The movie was so non-sensical that even with all the Fanservice, El Lover was perplex and confused.
To wake up ERod from catatonic state, El Lover has to show off his amazing acting skills:
El Lover: That Sucker Punch movie, with all the mamacitas in it, was really good.
The Cat In The Hat
Dakota Fanning is acting in the movie, and the camera switches to ERod.
ERod: Oh, you guys are expecting me to burst out laughing. Well, I'm not going to, cause in this movie Dakota Fanning is playing a little girl, which is what she looks like. She looks like a little girl. And until the day she doesn't look like a little girl, every time I see her playing a vampire, this is pretti much what I'm going to see:
Willow: "I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"
ERod gets his wish come true.
ERod: "[[What I wouldn't give]] to see him (the Cat) strung up by his neck, while hundreds of innocent children of all genders and races beat him with baseball bats."
(Next scene is the Cat hung from a tree while numerous kids are beating him with sticks. An Ode to Joy plays in the background.)
ERod: (has big grin on his face and wipes Tears of Joy from his eyes) "That was so beautiful. They should show that every Christmas. Right after this scene." (Bella breaks her hand punching Jacob)
After pointing out the movie had Infernal children (Thing 1 and Thing 2), it's Pandora Box of evils and Paris Hilton in it, ERod concludes the Cat is The Devil, promptly interrupted by a phone call by the Devil himself "Lucy Fer", complaintning about compairing him with the crap movie.
"Lucy Fer": How would you feel if I went around saying you look like that kid from the Speed Racer movie?
And after Lucy Fer ends his ranting of not missing Desperate Housewives and other quirky lines, "Lucy Fer" warns ERod to not insult him again like that or he would eat his soul.
After the movie ends.
ERod: Haha, oh Brian Grazer. I hope you made enough money out of this to fill that vast empty void where your soul used to be.
"Lucy Fer": You know I own that shit.
ERod: I'm not surprised.
Upon realizing that the two main characters are essentially reprising the roles they had in Superman Returns: "Could this possibly be the evil casting of...nah,not even Mandy Marin could be this cruel.
He threatens to lose it if the movie disappoints him one more time. Then they kill off Sam Huntington, the one actor that he liked. He immediately pulls out a pistol and shoots The Cat in the Hat.
He then goes on to say "That always makes me feel better."
The commercials in the middle.
After comparing all the dissonances of the movie with the comics, ERod realizes he'll waste all the review pointing the inconsistencies, so he decides the movie is about "Babyface Mc-Lameass".
ERod: But Dylan would never... Sorry, I'm still adjusting.
Lindsay Lohan with “Supid Girl” playing in the background
Crowned by clips from the song’s music video, where P!nk is dressed as Lindsay Lohan running over people while driving distracted.
"Lohan": Oh my gawd!
It’s ironic that all the DUI’s Lindsay Lohan has now are remembered when relating her to a car film.
ERod getting confused over a brief clip of Herbie on a date with KITT since Herbie's past love interests have all been female cars. He then concludes that Herbie must be Bi!
ERod: "Aw, Jayma. I can't stay mad at you. You're so cute! You look like a Precious Moments doll had sex with Hello Kitty"
ERod: "Aww, Jayma. I wouldn't be able to say No to you either. You're so cute! You're like a cross between a Care Bear, Baby Plucky and a Pupple"
The intro where ERod goes Blockbuster Buster mode by randomly selecting himself from a character select screen featuring other TGWTG reviewers with a Nintendo Gamecube controller. It got a chuckle out of this troper.
Also him reading an email about a picture with Welshy, this picture. ERod then says it's obviously a photoshoped picture... because if it was the case, he would be wearing Star Trek speedos.
ERod questions Gargamel's motivation in the movie, since the series alternated between converting the smurfs into gold or just eat them. When Gargamel states he needs "blue magic essence", ERod questions why he needs magic if he's already a wizard, only to find out he really sucks at it.
Listing the casting, ERod gets that Melody is played by Tara Reid.
ERod: But Melody is a complete idiot, and Tara Reid is... You know what? Nevermind. Perfect casting!
After a cool opening, ERod wonders why the movie is so detested, then revealing Megan Fox is in it.
ERod: It will be a cold day in hell the day before I consider you an actor! A COLD DAY IN HELL!!!!!! Ok, I'm done.
While ERod is explaining that Jonah Hex is supposed to be a great huntsman with good tracking skills, the movie then reveals they gave Jonah the superpower of talking with the dead. ERod enters in "No, no, no, no, no..." during the whole scene and then explodes. "WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT?!"
Surprisingly enough, Fedora Freddy declines, because even he knows Jonah Hex with powers is a bad idea.
Jonah gets to kill Michael Fastbender in an awesome way, which is immediately ruined by Jonah using his powers to revive him and kill him again. ERod gets so pissed of that he starts shredding a paper... only to have paper dolls. LOL.
ERod vs. Episode One
During the gear-up montage, ERod goes to face his enemies riding a bicycle.
In every part, Jar-Jar Binks pops up out of nowhere, only to ERod kill him snapping his neck, sliting his throat, and shooting him in the head.
Having busted the movie:
ERod: I have no idea what I’m going to do next.
Lorelei: Oh, there with be plenty for you to do. As a great philosopher once said, “One busted, thousands more to go.”
ERod gets excited because Bruce Campbell is playing a character named ROD "Torque " Redline. Pointing the emphasis in eROD. And he even compares it with the best day of his life Meeting Donald Duck at Disneyworld
When Rod is killed, ERod gets completely devastated, pointing out NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM KILLING BRUCE CAMPBELL. [[Film/Congo EVER]].
To illustrate to the audience how disgusted is when Mater gets to be a secret agent, ERod puts an example of a movie killing off Will Smith and replacing him with Carrot-Top.
He wonders what would have happened if Mater hadn't escaped. Cue the clip of Parliament blowing up from V for Vendetta.
The Three Musketeers
When ERod takes the DVD box.
ERod: "Hey, look at this. It has Ray Stevenson, Christoph Waltz, Milla Jovovich, I love those guys! I wonder who directed this. (Looks at the back of the cover). Oh, FUCK!"
The introduction of the Three Musketeers: Athos, who in this version is a ninja; Porthos, who apparently has super-strenght, and Aramis, who is... Batman.
When Milady, Milla Jovovich's character, is introduced.
ERod: In this movie, not only is she part of the team but she is...
*Wonder Woman's theme plays while Milady is dodging traps and arrows in a big dress*
ERod: Wow. Over-stylized bullshit and over-glorification of your wife within' the first 5 minutes of the movie. Congratulations, Paul Anderson. That's a new record.
And Paul Anderson returns.
Paul: "My wife can kill a zombie with her bare hands!"
ERod: Why do I even talk to you?
The entire movie, D'artagnan is seeking to defend the honor... of his horse.
ERod: *Dull Surprise* Yay, they are back. I totally believed that they died in that big expensive explotion. *Beat* Oh, come on! You weren't fooled either.
The title card for the Marmaduke review. It's ERod, Snoopy, and Garfield attempting to ship Marmaduke to Abu Dhabi!
Lampshading the way movies just appear in his apartment. "Why is it that only shitty things get teleported into my apartment? For once I would love to get a comic book, or a video game, or even a candy bar instead of a shitty movie!"
Playing the clip of a cross dressing The Cat in the Hat when the George Lopez cat is high and then yelling "Jeez! That's animal abuse!"
"Stop talking to the camera! You're not Feris Bueller!"
His confusion at using a dog surfing contest for a pet food commercial.
Saying that the random action scene was caused by God getting bored with the movie.
Wondering where the sewage that was covering the main characters went, then just giving up.
His horror and rage at the cgi dog dancing scene at the end of the movie.
ERod begins describing the idiotic ways they kept the game going in Highlander 3, when El Lover asks him about skipping over Highlander 2. ERod feigns ignorance, and when El Lover tries to explain it, ERod insists that it never happened.
Don't forget that ERod also denies that Highlander: The Source never happened too when El Lover notes that one exists.
Whenever ERod says in a epic voice "A MACLEOD FLASHBACK!"
Playing the "I kick ass for the Lord" clip from Braindead when the monks open fire on the evil goons.
When the Cryptkeeper appears to kick off Halloween Havoc, he just casually says "Oh, hi Crypty."
When the camera goes into the coffin at the beginning of the movie, we cut to clip of the Twilight Zone, with ERod narrating as the theme plays-"Submitted for your approval. This movie is pathetically trying to appeal to tweens. You've been warned."
After talking about how bland and perfect the main character is. "Don't you just want to spend an hour an a half with this asshole?"(grins).
His increasing rage at the fact that the movie never gives the characters any motivation for what they're doing.
When Crepsley fakes Darren's death by breaking his neck and rolling him off the roof. "Son of a bitch! I wanted to do those things!"
He eventually gets so pissed off with the movie that he decides to say "the dirtiest thing I've ever said in this show-Twilight is better than this movie."
Remembering the condition of No-Busting until the end of the month, ERod struggles twice to beat up the movie.
He cointains himself of giving it a hammer.
ERod: You're one LUCKY bitch!!
After seeng vampires feed in mosquito mode instead of killing humans.
*Leaves a sticky note to the DVD case* "I.O.U. 1 busting. ER<3d"
“Why would they put a beard on Salma Hayek? That’s like drawing a cock on the Mona Lisa’s forehead!” *Image of Mona Lisa when a picture of a rooster suddenly appears on the brow with a crowing noise* “What? Some people find poultry offensive.”
John C Reily kisses Salma Hayek.
Subtitle: Severe mindfuck in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
John C. Reily: (Salma Hayek's beard starts to grow) Your mouth says no, but your beard says yes.
Scifi Guy claims that no internet critic can review a movie that has already been reviewed, and that he's already reviewed Jason X.
ERod: Article 12, huh? Does this article also applies to a ponytail-wearing trekkie that reviewed Wild Wild West right after I REVIEWED IT??
Scifi: Oh... shit...
ERod: Yeah. So you can take your Article 12 and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASSGARD!!!
Scifi says that he wishes he had known that ERod was going to review the movie, so he wouldn't have had to see it. ERod asks if it's bad, and Scifi Guy breaks down laughing. ERod's only response is to state that Scifi Guy's laugh is creepy.
His confusion at Jason's apparent ability to teleport, and asking if Jason is Nightcrawler now.
When the main characters are introduced-"Where we meet this movie's victims, I mean characters."
His utter glee at how much mileage he can get out of the Professor being played by the guy who voiced Link in the Legend of Zelda cartoon.
He says that he already wants bodily harm to fall upon the stupid guy. And then Jason falls out of the cryo tank and cuts the guy's arm off. His reaction to this? "And now Sarah Michelle Gellar is going to come and pick me up in a time traveling DeLorean!", Brick Joke to his Josie and the Pussycats review.
ERod: Oh, What am I thinking? That would never happen.
SMG: You don't have to tell me twice. But a-actually you just did, but, bye! *Takes off in the De Lorean.
ERod: Man! I'm always a day late and a dollar short!
He says that Lisa does a great job of playing a sexy android, and then quickly states that he's not a robosexual.
ERod: *Hugs his toaster* "STOP JUDGING ME!!" *kisses toaster*
ERod tells the assistants that they should take more care when having sex in space, as they may contract space herpes. Or, as the astronauts apparently call it, "sperpies".
When Jason finds a new, random machete, he calls it a space machete, or a spaghetti.
Playing Phenomenon when Jason goes around killing all the soldiers.
Rob Zombie's Halloween
The Genre Actor Counter
Because MikeJ already reviewed the movie, ERod tries to call him up, but is only able to get a hold of the British Bastard.
ERod:(reading what the British Bastard said)Bugger off you spiky haired pillock. (looks confused) Pillock is like a king over there, right?
His utter disgust and confusion for why everyone is an asshole in this movie.
When he sees the scene in the strip club he says that Michael Bay is probably punching a wall wondering why he didn't think of that.
When Daryl Sabara shows up and calls Michael "shit pants"
ERod:(Looks horrified) Juni just cursed!
When he continues to talk about sex
ERod: You're Juni!
When everyone is getting upset about Michael having pictures of dead animals
ERod: So what? Maybe he's just into taxidermy! Or maybe he's a huge fan of the Happy Tree Friends!
When Michael kills Daryl Sabara
ERod: (imitating Michael) This is for Spy Kids 1! And this is for Spy Kids 2! And this, this is for Spy Kids 3-D!
ERod: (as himself) He is really not a big fan of Robert Rodriguez.
He points out that Michael's mask is utterly useless at disguising him, and says that the Green Lantern's Domino mask is more effective.
His explanation as to why the opening scenes aren't scary culminates in him comparing this version of Michael to Anakin in the Phantom Menace.
His reactions to Michael's over the top murder of Ken Foree.
ERod: Okay Michael, I think you got him.Okay, yeah, he's definitely dead dude.I don't think they're going to re-edit him into this movie.
He explains the character of Laurie Strode from the original series, and is talking about how virtuous and good she is, when the remake version finger bangs a bagel.
ERod: Thank you Rob Zombie. Thank you for ruining the character of Lauri Strode, and simultaneously ruining bagels for me. You fucker!
The totally montage.
He gets so bored after the fake out ending that he starts to fall asleep.
And then he actually does fall asleep.
The jealous Michael Bay running gag.
Bay: Fuck, why didn't I think of that?
The Cryptkeeper: Yes ERod?
ERod: You're an asshole.
Rob Zombie's Halloween 2
After explaining that everybody hates this movie-"What's so bad about it?" Turns around and glares at movie before sighing. "Let's begrudgingly find out."
His rage at the ambulance drivers.
After Michael survives the car crash. "Congratulations Rob Zombie, in less than 20 minutes, you've already exceeded your bullshit limit. It usually takes Michael Bay between 30 minutes to an hour to achieve this!"
Michael Bay: Whoa dude, this man is a genius!
ERod's reaction to the random ghost, including a Take That at the stupidity of a Napoleon Dynamite cartoon.
His utter rage at the entire opening act of the movie being a dream.
This makes him so angry that he goes to bust the movie with a wrench, but can't. So he casually attacks the Cat in the Hat instead.
After Loomis goes on a rant about Michael being dead, it shows Michael and the Waa-Waa music plays.
Upon learning that Laurie and Michael have a psychic connection he apologizes for the fact that he's about to ask a superfluous question. The question? "WHY?"
When interviewing Loomis, Weird Al Yankovic asks Loomis if they're talking about the Mike Meyers from Austin Powers, ERod gets upset that Weird Al took a joke that he was going to make, but lets him get away with it since he's Weird Al.
When Laurie decides to go get drunk, after ERod was talking about how well done the emotional scenes earlier were. "Sorry, for a moment there I forgot what movie I was fucking watching!"
At the Halloween party, one of Laurie's friends is dressed as Tim Curry, from Rocky Horror Picture, and goes to have sex with someone dressed as the Wolfman. ERod skips the scene to avoid mental scars.
ERod: Let me just repeat what I just said so it'll sink in. This movie has a scene in which Tim Curry goes to have sex with the Wolfman. Let me see if I can understand Rob Zombie's resume correctly: He's a rockstar, a director, and an author of Slash Fanfiction. You know what? I'm good here! I don't need to see the rest of the scene. So before I receive mental scars that I'll never heal from, let's cut to Laurie, and see what she's doing.
"Patrick Star and Chucky the Killer Doll are teaming up as a part of the Sheriff's department...I would totally watch that show! Well played Rob Zombie, well played.
His confusion over the ghosts holding Laurie down makes his brain explode and puts him out of commission for 2 hours.
After the ending, he tries to stab Halloween 2 with a knife, but he can't, so he attacks the Cat in the Hat again.
The Cryptkeeper: That looks awfully heavy. Ready to give up?
ERod: Never. Bring on the sparkly pricks. (Breaking Dawn part 1 appears)
Breaking Dawn Part 1
The quick recap of the Twilight Saga.
Deadpan/Bella: Uhm, like, I think I'm in love with you.
Whiney/Edward: Hair gel.
Sharkboy/Jacob: I'm in love with you too... inexplicably.
Dr. Acula/Carlslile: Your Un-holy union will cause war.
Deadpan/Bella: Uhm, ok.
Fergie/Victoria: You don't stand a chance against me. Man-eating vampires are way more powerful. (Dies) Ugh.
The song he plays whenever Jacob enters.
[[Music/Chicago "I am the man, who will fight for your honor∼"]]
He continues to refer to the wedding as an "unholy union" and says that the choice of Edward vs Jacob is one of necrophilia vs bestiality.
Quite possibly the best use of a clip from Buffy the Vampire Slayer ever.
Spike (as Bella): How can I thank you, you mysterious black clad hunk of a knight thing?
Spike (as Edward/Angel): No need, lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defied me, and now I'm just a biiig fluffly puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair. Never the hair.
Spike (as Bella): But there must be somewhere I can show my apreciation.
Spike (as Edward/Angel): No. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hairgel I like so much. *Up to corrections*
When talking about Bella's nightmare- "After Deadpan has a nightmare that is strikingly similar to one of my fantasies, oh come on, like you don't want to see all the characters in this movie die inexplicably."
ERod points out Bella and Edward marry without any complications or dramatic twists. No Volturi, no Jacob, and they kiss for so long that people go away and return later. (Funnier if we consider that was the actual editing of the movie...)
After Bella and Edward make out in the ocean, "Eww, I use that ocean."
His reaction to the damage Bella and Edward did to the room, stating that they probably did it(sex)wrong.
After explaining Bella and Edward consider an abortion.
ERod: So just to recap. Our main character gets married at the age of eighteen, and right after she contemplates having an abortion. Yes. This is the movie that everyone should take their thirteen year old daughter to see. Good job, moms of Amercia!! Good job!! (thumbs up).
When Edward tells Jacob that he can kill him if Bella dies
ERod: So EVERYONE wins!!!
His horror at the fact that the werewolves talk, claiming the few dignity they had was gone by now.
During his summary of season 7, ERod points out the downside that all the potential slayers had to be sheltered at Buffy's house, describing it like "Dividing the time between the show's main cast and all these annoying girls felt like someone poured water over Dawn and she multiplied like a mogwai."
As a stinger, there's a scene where Bruce Campbell says "Next time you unleash an ancient demon, call that Buffy chick"
ERod: BRUCE CAMPBELL HAS SPOKEN!!
Honest Review - The Dark Knight Rises
States Batman in the movie is a moron, since Batman is well known for being paranoid, especially if compared with his DCAU portrayals.
Althought he liked Catwoman's characterization in the film, he still felt Anne Hathaway looks too young, and her kiss scenes with Christian Bale creeped him. It was like watching his dad making out with Hannah Montana, brrrr.
ERod mentions Talia Al Ghul's motivations to avenge her father are very inconsistent, going from nobody killing him, Ra's abandoning her in a prision and excomunicated her boyfriend, crowning with "WORST DEATH EVER".
Meaningless Fanboy Gripes: Corrects pronunciation of Ra's Al Ghul's name. "Oh my God! It's been three movies! Could someone please teach these assholes how to say it right?!"
And then apologises to Alfred when he sees him cry.
"And after viewing and reviewing his performance multiple times I have to ask. WHY THE FUCK DOES HE SOUND LIKE SEAN CONNERY TALKING THROUGHT A KARAOKE MACHINE?!"
Then asks the audience if they would take him seriously if he did an entire review with that voice.
The voice returns at the stinger, inviting everyone to subscribe to the page.
Honest Review-Star Trek (2009)
Starts out with the normal intro monologue, then switches "To boldly go where no man has gone before" with "To boldly have kickass adventures in space!"
When talking about the supporting cast, he talks about the people playing Kirk's parents (Chris Hemsworth and Jennifer Morrison). "So Kirk is the son of Thor and Sheriff Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time...yeah, that sounds about right."
ERod points out when all the Trekies started bitching because in the Movieverse, Uhura and Spock were an Official Couple.
ERod: Really? THIS is what the hardcore fans are complaintning about? May I remind you that this is the same movie in which the entire planet Vulcan is destroyed. We witnessed the near extinction of the Vulcan people and that's fine. But Uhura kissing Spock, that's bullshit.
Needless to point out that ERod is fine with this.
Conan The Barbarian (2011)
Not sure if his hammer can bust a movie that is half good, he calls upon his friends for help, E-Joy and Dr. Affect. Their answer? Dr. Affect proposes Radioactive Toast Launcher and Water Dog guns, in four breeds.
The introduction of the two other members of the Skull Lantern Corps in general is pretty funny.
Not happy with the narration being down by Morgan Freeman's "Fatherly, March of the Penguin's voice" he proceeds to provide his own narration while impersonating Mako.
"And Rocking Ron Perlman had to perform the manliest C Section in the history of medicine!"
Playing a piece of the Nightmare on Elm Street Theme after child! Conan kills a group of marauders.
"You idiot. You can't stop the sheer awesomeness that is Ron Perlman with an arrow! You might as well shoot him with a Nerf noodle.
When Ron Perlman gets killed by having molten metal poured on his face- "World's manliest facial."
The censor black bars over the topless women say "Rent the movie"
When Conan recognizes one of the men who killed his father and the flashback starts, Ironside begins to play over it.
The return of Backdoor Lover.
During the horse chase, when Tamara disconnects the carriage- "Whoa be careful, Willow's going to fall out of the wagon!"
When Tamara leaves Conan. "And she's going to get captured in 3, 2, 1, whoa Khalar is punctual!"
His utter bafflement at the giant octopus.
"Wow, those special effects are worthy of the Syfy channel.
Thank you Conan, but our princess is in another castle.
It's unitentional, and ERod does defend it due to old age, but the special effects from the clips of the original TV show that he uses are pretty funny.
When Barnabas is set loose and begins taking out the construction workers, and a guitar riff starts playing.
ERod: (whispering and looking amazed) This is awesome.
TGWTG Producers Casting Couch
The title card is him tied to a chair while Linkara, the Nostalgia Critic, Angry Joe, and Obscurus Lupa threaten him with their signature weapons. Lupa's weapon? Her cat Ash.
The whole Welshy-ERod exchanges
This first exchange for starters:
Welshy: So Why did you spell "wine" in the script?
ERod: Hey! I said no Meta-humor. What the fuck do I look like? Phelous? This guy looks like Phelous.
Welshy calls ERod by his real name. His answer? "Nadie más que mi madre me llama Eric!" (Trans: "Only my mother calls me Eric!")
Welshy leaves and ERod starts complaintning about him.
ERod: That man is INSUFFERABLE!! (Beat) I can't wait to talk to him again!
ERod ends the episode saying that at least he didn't forget to mention any important person on the site. Then Sci-Fi Guy cries for being not being mentioned.
Really, all of his choices for the casting.
'Jewario' get's cast as Rick Schroder
Film Brain is Paul Bettany, just because both are british.
Obscurus Lupa is Reba McEntire
Nerdlinger's suggestions for Lupa are pretty funny too. They are-The Little Mermaid, April O'Neil, Kim Possible, and Fox from Gargoyles.
Cinema Snob is Alfred Molina. He admits that this was simply him being too lazy to do more research.
Phelous is...an extra from Doctor Who who looks exactly like him.
Nostalgia Chick is Janeane Garofalo
Angry Joe is Danny Trejo
Linkara is Harry Anderson. Apparently, he's also ERod's archenemy.
The Nostalgia Critic is Mickey Rourke
ERod was about to embark on a mission across time and space to save the Nostalgia Critic from the Plothole, only to hit a little snag. He has no idea how to drive the TARDIS.
ERod is Denzel Washington. No, seriously. ERod is puertorican and Denzel is... much taller.
When he lists off the other members of the site that he forgot, he still forgets Jesuotaku until El Lover reminds him. But El Lover's way of talking confuses him, leading ERod to think he said Jesus Tacos. With El Lover's thick accent, ERod actually hears it pronounced "Hay-soos con tacos."
I dedicate this silly video to my fellow Channel Awesome Producers. Who are always welcomed to make fun of me.
''... Except for Welshy. He abuses that privilege way too much!
Rocky & Bullwinkle
ERod's utter bafflement at the villains'...victory...dance...thing, then deciding to join in on the dancing.
Upon seeing Robert De Niro's bad performance after praising him as one of the greatest actor's of all time.
"Uh, maybe he's just warming up."
After learning that plan B is recruiting Rocky and Bullwinkle, he demands to know what plan C was.
"What was plan C, sending in the Shirt Tales?" and "Actually, now that I think about it, the Shirt Tales are the Expendables of the animal kingdom."
Apparently every movie studio has a machine designed to bring cartoon characters into the real world. In fact that was how Andy Samberg was brought into our world.
Important Plot Point!
Shameful Cameo Counter.
His reaction to learning that Robert De Niro produced the movie, and therefore either wrote or approved of the Taxi Driver parody.
His ever escalating attempts to bust the movie.
ERod Stating that insinuating that Kenan and Kel are the modern Rock and Bullwinkle is like casting Megan Fox as April O'Neil.
After restraining himself the second time he attempts to bust the movie, he pulls out a Goofy plushy, goes to hit the DVD with it, and then hugs it instead and walks away sadly.
"Yo, script writer. Subtlety, look it up!"
"Stop trying to bring logic into this you foolish fool!"
Saying that you can't be mad at Bullwinkle for being a dimwit, as it's in his nature, then saying that it'd be like getting mad at Michael Bay for being the biggest douche alive.
The look on his face when the villains begin to sing their...anthem?
ERod using a Gamecube controller to 'play' Bullwinkle's journey through cyberspace.
At the end: "Well, the day is saved, the bad guys are potentially dead, and my childhood is crushed!"
Scooby Doo 2
ERod comments that the fans have been saying Seth Green should play him in liveaction, for him to constantly deny some kind of similarities... Only to react the same way Seth Green is acting in the movie.
During the red carpet opening, ERod questions all the fangirling the gang gets, only for him to have a fangasm when Sarah Michelle Gellar appears.
His reactions to Shaggy and Scooby dancing. Perfect example of a "No, just...no." reaction.
When ERod realizes that the overall message of the movie was about self-acceptance, he decides to give Scooby Doo 2 a second chance. So shocking that even Nerdlinger jawdrops while eating his scoobysnacks.
Alvin & The Chipmunks 2
The titlecard-the chipmunks are tied to 'The Big One' from Toy Story, which ERod is lighting.
The utter bafflement when he realizes they made a sequel to the first movie.
At the beginning of the review, he states that Jason Lee is one of his favorite actors, and he wishes there was a way the guy could sit the movie out. Cue Dave getting smashed by the cutout of Alvin.
ERod(Looks horrified)Not what I meant...but it'll do.
His reaction to him trying to bring logic into the chipmunks going to school.
"Now that Dave's incapacitated, I'm sure the chipmunks will stay with Dave's girlfriend. You know, the photographer. Don't tell me you forgot about Dave's girlfriend. It's okay, the producers of this movie forgot about her to."
Upon seeing that the Chipettes are naked, he gets incredibly uncomfortable and pleads for someone to do something about it. Cue the black censor bars.
He angrily demands to know who thought recruiting an animal onto a sports team was a good idea, only to be confronted by posters for Gus, Air Bud, and MVP.
ERod: Never mind, proceed.
His dance lesson during All the Single Ladies.
Finally just giving in and playing the Doctor Who clip without complaint when a fart joke is made.
His increasing anger at Toby's song.
Top 10 Bruce Campbell Characters
The video opens with ERod killing zombies, only to stop to take a phone call, apologizing and telling them he'll kill them later.
When explaining his claim that Bruce Campbell is the best action star of our time, one of his questions is "Have any of you seen Steven Segall...act? No, I don't think anybody's seen that."
The Next Bruce Campbell movie? The Blockbuster Buster movie!!
SHE-Rod takes over the episode after prooving she has more experience, has a collosal collection of books and games and a membership, and sends ERod to read the whole Sherlock Holmes anthology in the meanwhile.
SHE-Rod: Greetings, fanboys and fangirls. I'm SHE-Rod and I'm the Blockbuster Buster.
SHE-Rod: Did you finish reading your book?
Nancy gives the burglars pastries.
SHE-Rod: Yo! Sexist screenwriter. This is Nancy Drew, not "Little Fucking Debbie".
The entire review is made with Insane!ERod, inserting no-sense catchphrase every once in a while.
Introduces Jamie Kennedy and Traylor Howard.
ERod: So we cut to Otis' owners, a newly wed couple played by the lovely Traylor Howard and one of the most unfunniest motherfuckers on the planet, Jamie Kennedy. Now let's enjoy some of their non-comedy!
ERod: Now let's see now how all the Jim Carey fans feltabout their favorite actor being replaced by this douche. (cut to a kid giving Jamie Kennedy a Groin Attack) Meh. Everybody i a critic.
After Jamie Kennedy fucks Traylor Howard wearing the mask.
ERod: (astonished) She just fucked a cartoon character... Well, I guess now Traylor Howard knows what it's like to be Courteney Cox(cut to a photo of Courteney Cox and David Arquette and a drums sound.)
*The M. Vison "Of Course!" plays instead of "The Doctor" clip*
ERod: That never gets old.
Jamie Kennedy confirms his wife is really her by grabbing her boob.
ERod: Hey, El Lover. Is boob-grabbing a way to confirm if a señorita is a señorita?
El Lover: Boobs can be fake, papi.
Top 10 Terrible Terminator Salvation Moments
Since he doesn't have someone to deliver the traditional Movie-Facts, he instead gets interrupted by TDKR!Bane, getting ERod irritated because of the stupid voice and the useless interruptions.
Finally Batman arrives and breaks Bane's back to shut him up.
Also why Batman doesn't have the weird voice? Because HE IS BATMAN!
Resident Evil Retribution
The movie starts with... Milla Jovovich in the center of the screen with a heavenly light behind her. Paul Anderson just broke the record set on The Three Musketeers of how much time it would take him to insert slowmotion and overglorification of his wife in a movie.
Paul Anderson: When my wife eats croutons, laser beams shoot from her eyes.
Erod being annoyed by Cartoon-E's antics.
Alice appears naked again.
ERod: Every time they capture her, they take her clothes off. Who is running the Umbrella Corporation? Frank Miller?
Frank Miller: Dude. I challenge you to say "boobies" and not smile.
ERod: Boobies. (starts grumpy and smiles slowly, to finally crack) Sorry, I can't do it.
Noticing the child who played Becky not only is good, but actually is hearing impared, ERod wants to congratulate her because she acts better than many child actors that can hear well, illustrating the example with Noah Ringer from Last Airbender.
ERod: (Flips the bird at him) Sorry. This is the only sign language I know.
"Sappy Sappy Joy Joy! Sappy Sappy Joy Joy"
Erod being oblivious of Jeannie's attention.
Tony Stark makes better decisions than you!
El Lover: So that fool knows you can get out of your bottle whenever you want?
The Country Bears
"Stupid Motherfucker! Stupid Motherfucker!"
Next Top 10 Voice-Over Actors
Wrestling Match narrated by ERod by pure instinct.
Time for commercials. When ERod questions why, Fedora Freddy explains that's the way he pays rent.
ERod: Oh. So that means is really really really really really really really really importante we let these commercials play. (looks at the audience as they cut)
Linkara: (takes his glasses off and talks to the camera) Those are words that are meant to represent sound effects.
ERod: Why did you just said that aloud?
Linkara: As an expositional convenience for the audience. (gets punched by ERod
ERod: I said not meta-humor!! What the fuck do I look like? Phelous? This guy looks like Phelous. (shows the Doctor Who extra from his Casting Couch of Phelous)
When ERod complains about the bomb scene, Linkara tells him to prove it... by giving him a bomb. ERod's panic as he tries to get rid of. Linkara watches him amusingly running around, and after a few laps, stops him and tells him to just "let it go". 90's Kid ends up catching the bomb.
After ERod leaves, Linkara wonders "90's Kid was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago..."
The stinger with Doctor Linksano and Nerdlinger lamenting not having any parts in the review.
Nerdlinger squees when Linksano suggests doing some science.