- How quickly Stephanie decides that Number 5 was an alien and how quickly she accepts the idea of being visited by the "alien" was rather amusing.
- Howard, scared about what the malfunctioning Number 5 might do, makes this comment:
Howard: What if it decides to melt down a bus full of nuns? How would you write the headline on that?!
- Ben is generally pretty good for these. When Crosby was taking No. 2 (without permission) on his hunt for No. 5, Howard started freaking out some more.
Howard: Great! So instead of $11 million on the loose, we're going to have twenty-two!
- Newton and Ben bantering at the beginning of the film:
Ben: Newton Crosby, you must make instantaneous appearance!
Newton: *causes the robot hand he's manipulating to flip Ben off*
Ben: Was that a "yes", or the number of your intelligence quotient?
- Any and all of Ben's Malaproper phrases.
"I am standing here beside myself." (I am beside myself)
"So now I am having no job to speak about. I will have to smack the sidewalk." (I have no job to speak of. I will have to pound the pavement)
"I have seen some strange, bizarre drivers, but you. You will be awarded a cake." (I have see some strange, bizarre drivers, but you take the cake)
"With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?"
"Newton, we are wasting valueless time here!"
- And this great Ben line:
Newton: So what do you think of her?
Ben: I am thinking she is a wirgin. Or at least used to be one.
- Well, that narrows it down.
Newton: Where are you from, anyway?
Ben: Bakersfield, originally.
Newton: No, I mean your ancestors.
Ben: Oh, them. Pittsburgh.
- Just Ben in general.
"Bye-bye, goofy woman. I enjoyed repeatedly throwing you to the ground."
- "Hey laser lips! Your momma was a snowblower!"