Funny / Seth Skorkowsky

Call of Cthulhu

"Intimate Encounters" (2022)

• The fat sucking parasite from another dimension is possessed of a black sense of humor and near unlimited control over the internet. As such, if it detects it's being catfished, it will set up the player characters on a date with the FBI seeking the serial killer.

"Angel's Thirst" (2022)

• One of the player characters has Witch Cults of Western Europe listed as her favorite book, long before the module. Encountering an NPC reading it, she decides "Oh my god, we're about to be best friends!"

"Crimson Letters" (2022)

• Flinders, an Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain, ends up giving the player characters more trouble than actual Great Old Ones despite the fact he is a Hollywood Satanism Entertainingly Wrong cultist.
  "Stupid Flinders."
  • After attempting to kill one of the player characters with a brick, they end up chasing him throughout the backyards of several neighborhoods as bad dice rolling on both sides prevent either from disabling the other.
  • This eventually results in a lengthy in-character speech by Jack the NPC that Flinders is their most hated foe by far.

"Viral" (2022)

• Seth Skorkowsky finds out that the player characters (and by proxy, the players) are willing to do almost anything stupid that he asks them to if they're being paid to do so in-universe by their subscribers. Given the player characters are hosting a livestreamed ghost hunting show, it became a great way to have them run directly at horrifying SAN blasting things like walls of flies.

"Missed Dues" (2020)

• One of the PCs opens a door in a pocket dimension that leads to him looking directly upon Azathoth himself. The PC manages to somehow lose the least amount of sanity possible and slams the door. Seth even describes it as the PC reacting like it was a dirty bathroom.
  "You do not want to look in there."

"The Two Headed Serpent" Campaign (2018-2019)

• The characters being way, way too excited in the first session over the possibility of getting an air drop, so much so that they ignored the fact that the mummy they're after is allegedly alive.
• J.J.'s character portrait, which Seth describes as the greatest one he's ever seen.
• Jack in drag to play Jane, particularly when he flashes his "chest" at the audience with a censor filter.
  • "I like this outfit. I feel...dainty."
• "Dear Diary, Today, my gun jammed."
• Jane initially wanting to shake hands with a general after she made an amazing piloting maneuver, only to realize they're in a quarantine zone and shouldn't so she covers by saying she just had her nails done.
• Jack announcing the third episode by running around banging pans while screaming "Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!"
• Jack joins in on the snake-handling at the church. "Please-don't-bite-me! Please-don't-bite-me!"
• Jack cheekily informing that they called their Vormis buddy "Tripod" for "reasons" that he was a "big boy".
• How does the party kill the giant sea serpent? Get the pilot to use the plane as the lure and bank out of the way at the last second while the other characters shoot it. Seth even said it was like they were fly fishing.
• Philip Connors devolving into speaking in code to the player characters...except he forgot to tell them "that we were even going to be speaking in code, or what the code was" as Jack puts it.
• A major part of the final session in Mu is tracking the surviving evil faction through the forest...which Boba's rolls utterly trivialized.

"Crash Drive" (2019)

• Jack sums up how bad the scenario is while doing his intro, "Let me tell you folks, this one ain't pretty."
• Jack noting how unusually nice it is of his Shady Contact to just give him the adventure hook intel "completely free of charge."
• And how weird it is that the previous salvage team just left all their equipment behind for the player characters to find and use.
  Jack: A brand new diving suit costs over a thousand dollars. And that's 1920s dollars, over fourteen thousand in today's dollars!
• Jack's plan to hire someone else to dive for him, like the original salvage team, which is able to completely derail the adventure if allowed. Seth tries to talk him out of it.
  Seth: You'll decide that you want to learn how to dive, rent the [damaged] equipment, and risk your own lives getting it yourself.
  Jack: Uh, no I won't. I would much rather pay someone else to do that for me. Like somebody that actually knows how to do it.
• Jack proceeds to shoot down Seth's next attempt to get things back on the rails: No salvage team is available? Jack can wait, there's no time limit on the adventure. Seth has to come up with another reason the salvage team won't be an option.
• The only danger in the scenario, beyond the normal dangers of 1920s diving, is Bootlegger Bill trying to steer the barge back to shore while drunk, despite some of the players being underwater and attached to the barge. Jack is pissed that Bill's drunken self is the only threat to face.
  Jack: That's not an "adventure" that is a "scene"!

"The Idol of Thoth" (2018)

• There's something very funny about the module sometimes calling Clarence Butterfield "Butterworth."
• Jack complaining about the fact as far as the campaign goes, this is a sequel to "The Dagger of Thoth" and thus at this point the player characters are reduced to just cleaning up Thoth's stuff.
• "Oh, a puzzle box. Nothing ominous and scary about these, am I right?"
• Jack getting around attempts to get him to leave the museum by just calling people on the telephone, avoiding going to multiple locations this way. Finally, his Luck Rolls give out and he's forced to actually travel to someone's house to see them.
• Jack suggesting that if the next adventure is the Bedpan of Thoth, that he's sitting it out.

"The Dagger of Thoth" (2018)

• Jack the NPC talks extensively about his crush on Evie from The Mummy (1999) and whether they can go visit her.
• Jack mentions that he sent a bunch of love letters to Evie, but she never responded.

"Waiting for the Hurricane" (2017)

• This is one of Jack the NPC's funniest performances with constant one-liners and quips.
• Jack's enthusiasm for the combat-heavy nature of the game.
  "Pulp players are looking for some boom, boom, boom, and that's exactly what they're going to get in this adventure."
  "We brought ALL The guns."
• Jack calling out Seth Skorkowsky for faking rolls behind the screen.
  "Wait, you just did that? Then why were you rolling dice behind the scenes and going 'ooo', 'aaah' the whole time."
• Jack's reaction to Seth calling out how sometimes PCs are idiots and they need a hint.
  "I am right here! It hurts me feelings when you say things like that."
• Seth calling Jack out for complaining when he's an NPC and Jack's response.
  "Oh sorry, I forget that I'm imaginary sometimes."
• Seth saying that the Keeper should flesh out a character because it's likely the PCs will ask a lot of questions. Jack demonstrates it.
  "So, did you ever get it on with a fish frog girl? I'm not judging at all. I just want to know what it's like."
• Jack's attempts to give a Badass Boast.
  "You thought you got rid of us, but I am like a bad penny, no, a bobber who floats. I am really bad at this."

"Blackwater Creek" (2017)

• Seth Skorkowsky comparing the guy on the cover to the drunk guy at a Renaissance Faire. He then goes on to mention his own history of partying at them and says the official term for one is, "Vomit Goblin."

Cyberpunk 2020

"What Bug?" (2020)

• An RPG war story where Seth Skorwkosky describes the numerous fumbles he and his party made that resulted in planting a bug on a receptionist's desk becoming a massive shoot out, dropping guns, and flashbanging myself. Later, we find out that Seth (as in Seth himself who is playing rather than a character) actually escalated the situation rapidly by choosing to go out guns blazing. The security guards were just going to ask them some questions rather than torture or kill them. Seth is then called out for being a murder hobo when he plays despite his relaxed Game Master style.

"The Scott Brown Incident" (2018)

• The player characters attempt to make a diversion by calling a real estate agent in about a property they're trying to clean out of a street gang squatting inside. Instead, the real estate agent pulls out a gun and begins opening fire at the street thugs.
  "Scott Brown, motherfuckers, get the fuck out! I got a showing!"
• Doubly funny because Scott Brown is an RL Texas realty agency that Seth Skorkowsky was using for name recognition.
• Eventually, the incident was subject to Memetic Mutation due to Seth's video and mentioned in Cyberpunk Red as part of a news article feed.
• It didn't make it into the video but when being interviewed by Jon Jon The Wise (a content creator for Cyberpunk Red) Seth mentioned that the agent had also been using tear gas grenades. Not just any kind; but ones that would leave the place smelling of freshly baked cookies, as a reference to the real-life realtor trick of baking cookies in the oven of a house before a showing to make it smell more homely.

Dungeons and Dragons

"How the Beholder was Invented (Probably)" (2021)

• The description of Drow as photonegative Tolkien elves meets KISS.
  "That actually sounds cooler when you describe them that way."
• The immediate backtracking after one of the players says Lolth is still hot as a giant spider.
• The actual description of a Beholder's creation by a coked-up Gary Gygax describing it as 80% Eyeball and 60% mouth with no butthole. The latter being the reason why it hates the world as it has to poop back through its mouth.

"For Thor!" (2019)

• A Barbarian attempts to destroy a +1 shield as an offering for Thor by tossing it on a campfire and ends up fumbling it. Then he fumbles it again trying to break it against a mountain. Spending all of his gold to bribe a blacksmith to destroy it, he spends ten days preparing for a sacrifice. This successfully attracts Thor's attention, and the god destroys the blacksmith shop with a bolt of lightning that converts the village. It becomes a heartwarming moment when the barbarian later dies and meets Thor, finding him with the +1 shield.
• The Barbarian tries to make the shield destroying hammer covered in sacred runes to Thor but forgot he can't read so he just covers it in gibberish.
• Seth asks whether the other players are bored with this but all of them agree it's entertaining as hell.

"The Bonesaw" (2018)

• The player characters get a hold of a vorpal sword called the Bonesaw that constantly refers to its owner as "Peanut Head."
• After a bunch of fumbles, the magical sword decides they're unworthy of being called the Peanut Head anymore.
• The sword actually is impressed when one of the player characters achieves a Natural 20 and decapitates a Fire giant in a single stroke.
• The Bonesaw tells this story about the decapitation for years thereafter.
• Eventually, in another campaign, they found the Bonesaw again and it was still telling the story.

KULT: Divinity Lost

RPG Philosophy

"The 5 Worst Characters That Good Players Make" (2017, unlisted)

• When giving examples of how out of place "13th Warriors" end up being he lists off a few scenarios:
  • A crime scenario featuring Columbo, Sherlock Holmes, Jessica Fletcher, Miss Marple and... WWE Superstar Triple H.
  • A wizardly adventure featuring Merlin, Albus Dumbledore, Fin Raziel, Gandalf The Grey and... Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • A daring paramilitary rescue mission starring John Rambo, George Dillon, John Matrix, James Braddock and... Bill Nye the Science Guy.

"The Murder Hobo" (2020)

• The opening where we get examples of the murder hobo in action such as when he stabs a guard for asking what his business is, shoots an old lady for asking to use their phone, and then spaces a pirate out an airlock before getting the information he was about to give up.

Traveller