(Michele holds back tears watching Vivian get treated to a shopping spree) I just get so happy when they finally let her shop!
Here's how Romy handles meeting a suit salesman...
Romy: Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
She even pretends to limp just to make it look believable.
Romy's plan to get her and Michele a car for the reunion: pretend to have sex with Ramon, a car factory worker, so that he could let her borrow his. It's even funnier in the end.
Romy: Oh, Ramon. Your penis is so powerful. I'm cumming. Okay, thanks, get off me now.
Ramon: Ah, come on!
Romy: You wanted it to be believable.
The "I'm the Mary and your the Rhoda" fight. It gets even funnier (and darker) when the movie reaches to a dream future sequence that have Romy and Michele as elderly women (with Romy dying, no less) and they are still arguing about it.
Old!Michele: Tell your mommy that Michele Weinberger-Frink is on the phone and would very much like to speak with her.
Old!Romy (whilst breathing heavily): No. Not until you admit that I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda
Old!Michele:I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary! You're a pasty hag on her deathbed...
(Old!Romy slowly gives Old!Michele the finger as her heart monitor starts to decline.)
"We need something to go.... do you have some sort of 'business woman' special?"
As Michele is defending Romy from the mean girls...
Michele: Oh, shut up. And what are you picking on us for? We're not the one's who got fat.
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.
Heather Mooney gives out some laughs, as well. Especially in her first appearance:
Romy: Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy [Frink] in high school?
Heather: I did not have a "thing". I did not have a thing. (Turns to another costumer behind her) I didnot have a "thing." (Turns back to Romy) I was very much in love with him. Very much in love, there's a difference. (Turns to the costumer behind her again) There's a difference. (Now back to Romy) There's a difference.
(puts on her shades)
Heather: (whispers) I have to go now.
She also gives out one quote that's pretty relatable for anyone who had a hard time in high school...
Heather: Why don't you tell everyone I said I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?