Funny / Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

  • Romy and Michele's commentary while watching Pretty Woman.
    (Michele holds back tears watching Vivian get treated to a shopping spree) I just get so happy when they finally let her shop!
    "Yeah, like those sales girls in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is!"
  • Here's how Romy handles meeting a suit salesman...
    Romy: Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
    • She even pretends to limp just to make it look believable.
  • Romy's plan to get her and Michele a car for the reunion: pretend to have sex with Ramon, a car factory worker, so that he could let her borrow his. It's even funnier in the end.
    Romy: Oh, Ramon. Your penis is so powerful. I'm cumming. Okay, thanks, get off me now.
    Ramon: Ah, come on!
    Romy: You wanted it to be believable.
  • "Who lost their virginity first?" "Oh big wow, with your cousin Barry. I wouldn't brag about it!"
  • The "I'm the Mary and your the Rhoda" fight. It gets even funnier (and darker) when the movie reaches to a dream future sequence that have Romy and Michele as elderly women (with Romy dying, no less) and they are still arguing about it.
    Old!Michele: Tell your mommy that Michele Weinberger-Frink is on the phone and would very much like to speak with her.
    Old!Romy [whilst breathing heavily]: No. Not until you admit that I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda
    Old!Michele: I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary! You're a pasty hag on her deathbed...
    [Old!Romy slowly gives Old!Michele the finger as her heart monitor starts to decline.]
  • "We need something to go.... do you have some sort of 'business woman' special?"
  • As Michele is defending Romy from the mean girls...
    Michele: Oh, shut up. And what are you picking on us for? We're not the one's who got fat.
    Christie: ... We're pregnant, you half-wit.
    Michele: Oh, yeah, well... I hope your babies look like...monkeys.
  • Romy's fat-free diet:
    Michele: Did you lose weight?
    Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
    Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.
  • Heather Mooney gives out some laughs, as well. Especially in her first appearance, where the mere mention of Sandy turns her from Deadpan Snarker to Comically Serious:
    Romy: Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy [Frink] in high school?
    Heather: I did not have a "thing"! I did not have a thing. [Turns to another costumer behind her] I did not have a "thing." [Turns back to Romy] I was very much in love with him. Very much in love, there's a difference. [Turns to the costumer behind her again] There's a difference. [Now back to Romy; bleakly] There's a difference.
    [puts on her shades]
    Heather: [whispers] I have to go now.
    • She also gives out one quote that's pretty relatable for anyone who had a hard time in high school...
    Heather: Why don't you tell everyone I said I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?
  • "It's like I've given birth to my own baby girl, y'know? Only she's like, a big giant girl who smokes and says 'shit' a lot...y'know? Yeah...Let's fold scarves!"