- Romy and Michele's commentary while watching Pretty Woman.
(Michele holds back tears watching Vivian get treated to a shopping spree) I just get so happy when they finally let her shop!
- Here's how Romy handles meeting a suit salesman...
Romy: Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.
- She even pretends to limp just to make it look believable.
- Romy's plan to get her and Michele a car for the reunion: pretend to have sex with Ramon, a car factory worker, so that he could let her borrow his. It's even funnier in the end.
Romy: Oh, Ramon. Your penis is so powerful. I'm cumming. Okay, thanks, get off me now.Ramon: Ah, come on!Romy: You wanted it to be believable.
- The "I'm the Mary and your the Rhoda" fight. It gets even funnier (and darker) when the movie reaches to a dream future sequence that have Romy and Michele as elderly women (with Romy dying, no less) and they are still arguing about it.
Old!Michele: Tell your mommy that Michele Weinberger-Frink is on the phone and would very much like to speak with her.Old!Romy (whilst breathing heavily): No. Not until you admit that I'm the Mary and you're the RhodaOld!Michele: I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary! You're a pasty hag on her deathbed...(Old!Romy slowly gives Old!Michele the finger as her heart monitor starts to decline.)
- "We need something to go.... do you have some sort of 'business woman' special?"
- As Michele is defending Romy from the mean girls...
Michele: Oh, shut up. And what are you picking on us for? We're not the one's who got fat.Christie: ... We're pregnant, you half-wit.Michele: Oh, yeah, well... I hope your babies look like...monkeys.
- Romy's fat-free diet:
Michele: Did you lose weight?Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.
- Heather Mooney gives out some laughs, as well. Especially in her first appearance:
Romy: Besides, didn't you have a thing for Sandy [Frink] in high school?Heather: I did not have a "thing". I did not have a thing. (Turns to another costumer behind her) I did not have a "thing." (Turns back to Romy) I was very much in love with him. Very much in love, there's a difference. (Turns to the costumer behind her again) There's a difference. (Now back to Romy) There's a difference.(puts on her shades)Heather: (whispers) I have to go now.
Heather: Why don't you tell everyone I said I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?
- She also gives out one quote that's pretty relatable for anyone who had a hard time in high school...