Funny / Quantum Break

• While hiding from some Monarch goons, Will gets mad when Jack says "Paul brought me here to clean up your mess."—mad enough to make Will hit the metal rebar in front of him. Cue Monarch goons about to investigate the sudden noise...and Will quietly saying... "...Fffffffuuuuuuuuuu..."
• In Act 2, you can find the first half of a screenplay written by a Monarch mook named Bruce Livingstone called Time Knife. It's... interesting, to say the least. The main character is a blatant self-insert Gary Stu, right down to being named Bruce. Almost every character is a blatant Expy of someone he knows in real life with only minor name changes meant to disguise this fact, such as Bruce's boss, Paul Marine, who is the Big Bad and a Card-Carrying Villain. The plot is incoherent, with a knife that looks like a knife but also like a time machine because it is both, the love interest turning out to be Paul Marine in disguise, Paul Marine being Bruce from the future (except not really, he was lying), bombs retroactively planted in boots, boots retroactively switched with those of Bruce's wacky sidekick Slobbo (he isn't as fat as his name sounds) in order to avoid said bombs, pauses mentioned in the script after "funny" jokes to let the audience stop laughing, characters repeatedly dying but somehow surviving due to reasons, and the Time Knife being melted down to make bullets that send whoever is shot with them through time.
  BRUCE SAVAGE stands in his office. He is sexually attractive.
  Somebody knocks on Bruce's door and he opens it. It's a SCIENTIST LADY. She looks like a librarian with glasses but she is actually a scientist. You can tell because she has a lab coat.
  • Or this lovely quote from the second half of the script in Act 3:
  BRUCE: That's right. I stabbed George Washington because I love you.
  • If you want to hear what it would sound like actually acted out loud, three members from the cast of Quantum Break join the writer of the script to do a table read of it here.
• The first choice in the game is Paul deciding whether Monarch takes a Hardline position, and ruthlessly crushes all resistance, up to and including lethal force, or whether they take a more PR-friendly approach, which gets the public on their side. When you reach the level where Jack tries to sneak under the bridge, the PR timeline has a civilian on the bridge blowing his cover by alerting Monarch's goons, while the Hardline timeline has the same civvie warning Jack not to come up on the bridge. By screaming at the top of his lungs. No prizes for guessing what happens.
• Will's outline of A Civilian's Guide to Time Travel (Cliché Working Title). Pretty much all of it, thanks to Will's rambling style.
  -Time travel is tied to a rotating black hole core.
  -NOTE: Explain core first?
  -NOTE: Fuck it. Just compare the core to a car engine.
  -NOTE: Look up info on car engines.
• Will's Running Gag egg metaphors certainly count, as everyone gets confused why the hell egg metaphors are in any way appropriate or notices that things go off on a tangent. Not only does he try to use eggs to explain fractures to Jack, but it's littered throughout his notes and Jack even tries to do the same to Beth and gets the same complaints.
  Will: That's what I'm telling you!
  Jack: Not in the right language!
  Will: Explosion make time go bad! If time is an egg, then that egg is fucking broken! The time egg is fucked!
  Jack: What? Why is there an egg in this?!
• Effort goes into little realistic quirks in collectables and character actions too. Things like Will finding his university access was removed, at which point he punches the keypad... then grunts and grabs his hand, uttering that doing that didn't really help.
  • Or Will apologizing for leaving Jack out of the loop, citing he has Jack's best intentions at heart. Moments before absent-mindedly letting go of a set of ladders, which almost smack Jack in the head.
  • Bonus points if Nick is the guy you save, as he has a habit of playing The Ditz. For example, after you save, he makes a dramatic announcement about how he's got your back, and then he tries to pull open a locked door you need to bypass.
    Nick: (Beat) Oh. It's a... push.
  • Speaking of collectables, the noticeboard in the Monarch research lab. While the first three are generic notices about social gatherings in the kitchen area, job recruitment and a smoking prohibition reminder, the last note takes a completely different tone. It's about coffee cups.
  Noticeboard: For security reasons, we have limited janitorial positions in the facility. Or, to put it another way, your mom doesn't work here, and if you hoard those coffee cups, we will run out, and if we run out of cups, people can't get their coffee, and without coffee, there will be murder. We all know this. RETURN YOUR CUPS SO NOBODY HAS TO DIE.
• The frozen Monarch employees in Act 3. One clumsy guy was in the middle of dropping a huge stack of TPS reports. A female worker is playing Alan Wake and singing along to "Children of the Elder God." Another man is distracted from a presentation by a dating site for "adventurous religious singles." Made all the funnier by their slowed down speech.
• The Night Springs TV bit found in Act Four definitely needs a mention: The shows narrator is apparently missing, so they hold auditions for a replacement. Most of the applicants are different flavours of god-awful, while the one guy that actually sounds like he could do a decent job can't get the name of the show right.
  Actor: [sinister voice] And yet, that is the fate that awaits you in... Night Fringe!
  Man: It's "Night Springs."
  Actor: [sinister voice] Night Cringe!
  Man: Springs!
  Actor: [sinister voice] Bright... Blings?
  Man: [frustrated] Night. Springs.
  Actor: [sinister voice] Fright Whinge!
  Man: [exhausted] Jesus.
• During the part where Jack drives out of the facility, the Monarch guard he was about to run over drops his gun and jump-rolls out of the way... and right into a wall head-first.

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