Octavius King / Funny

Funny / Octavius King

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3D Monster Maze

The completely serious and emotionless way that the police officer reads out someone's encounter with the T-Rex:
According to a report, "A dinosaur, an actual live dinosaur. Holy sh*t, it's an actual live T-Rex with f*cking teeth and it's taken my arm. Oh god my arm, I'm bleeding."
Horace's undignified reaction to the T-Rex's Mighty Roar:
Horace: SOME WEE CAME OUT

The cavalcade of questions Octy has when The Guardian wakes him up in the middle of the night:
What are you doing in my bedroom? Why are you wearing shoulder pads? Why do they have terrifying spikes on them? Have I wandered into a sex dungeon? ...again?
"Good old text adventure games. You can't beat 'em... unfortunately"
"GRAB THE GORRILA'S BALLS!"
- Which leads to this exchange:
  Octavius: Why would I want to grab a gorilla's balls? Can we just lay out the reasoning behind this?
  JJ: Because you want to, and that is not a lie!
  The Guardian: It's true; I've seen you hanging around the gorilla enclosure, saying 'Come to me, you silverback bastard', yes
  Octavius: *thousand-yard stare*
- And for fans of Rule of Three:
  *beat*
  The Guardian: ...you grabbed a gorilla's balls
  Octavius: I KNOW!
  The Guardian: Your choices are suspect
"...I will punch you in organs you don't know you have"
Honestly, almost anything The Guardian says is a candidate here.

After mentioning that Sonic's personality was inspired by Bill Clinton's 'get it done' attitude?
Based on President Clinton, eh? I hope Sonic never... y'know... stops gays from having the same federal rights as straight couples by signing a bill against it... oh yeah, and also the whole, y'know, 'cheating on his wife' thing.

Three lines that remind us just how weird Octy's world really is:
Squishes, the police have me on file; they could be round at any moment! I don't want to run the risk of killing or sleeping with another video game character, okay? I'm not even sure if either is legal!

The first level starts off with one of the Angels in a bikini contest... followed immediately by everyone attacking en masse:
If you step off the runway, you die! It's like a slutty version of 'the floor is lava'
As the level continues, it eventually starts getting to our host:
Why am I wearing a tiny bikini? Where am I keeping my phone or my bank cards? Why am I running like that? Is that because of where I'm keeping my phone and my bank cards?

Octy getting so bored of correcting grammar that he attempts to solve a puzzle by smooshing the keyboard against his chest.