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  • Vandemar is less than impressed with Croup's razorblade skills — I mean, he misses every one of his own fingers and hits the spaces in between! Lucky Croup's got Vandemar to show him how to chuck a blade. Dead on target, into his own hand.
    • In fact, a lot of what they do and say is rather Black Comedy.
  • Richard having to maintain his dignity with nothing but a washcloth when a real estate agent and his clients barge into the bathroom while he's having a bath. Lucky for his decency, he's basically totally invisible to Abovers at this point.
  • From the BBC 2013 Christmas radio adaptation, Richard says that a stressed out Jessica apparently makes 'Croup and Vandemar look like Jedward.'
  • From the radio play, Neil Gaiman is The Fop with No Name. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Again in the radio play, Vandemar gets annoyed by Croup calling him 'a stout fellow'.
    Vandemar: I'm not fat.
  • The scene in the book where Door and Richard return from their first visit to Islington drunk, and Hunter points their drunkenness out to them. They emphatically (and very drunkenly) protest that they are absolutely not drunk, until Door sits down on the platform and (rather soberly) admits that "Perhaps we are a little bit smashed" and immediately passes out.
  • The Marquis being a Troll to Richard when they first meet, and afterwards telling Door that he hears that the words "really," "big," and "favour," were used, in the correct order.
  • Later on, he has a very funny It's All About Me moment:
    Richard:Don't do it. We don't matter!
    Marquis de Carabas: Actually, I matter very much, but I have to agree. Don't do it.
  • "'Can I help you?' said the footman. Richard had been told to fuck off and die with more warmth and good humor."
  • The Marquis agrees to answer three questions to Croup and Vandemar. Since they learn all they wanted from the first two answers, Vandemar then asks, "What number am I thinking of?" The book's narration then implies the Marquis somehow gives him the correct answer!

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