Funny / Moneyball

One's bound to get this with a script that Aaron Sorkin helped write.
  • The daughter's song at the end of the movie is pretty bittersweet, with the concluding lyrics being "you're such a loser, dad."
  • The scenes between Billy Beane and the scouts.
    Billy Beane: Is there another first baseman like Giambi?
    Scout: No, not really.
    Billy Beane: If there was, could we afford him?
    Scout: No.
    Billy Beane: Then what the fuck are you talking about, man?
  • Billy's first conversation with Peter Brand:
    Billy Beane: Who are you?
    Peter Brand: I'm Peter Brand.
    Beane: I don't give a rat's ass what your name is.
  • Beane, along with his coach Ron Washington, visits Scott Hatteberg, a former catcher, to tell him they're putting him at first:
    Hatteberg: I've only ever played catcher.
    Beane: It's not that hard, Scott. Wash, tell him.
    Washington: It's incredibly hard.
  • "Who's Fabio?"
    • "A shortstop. He's a shortstop with Seattle..."
  • Towards the end of the film, after once again falling short of the World Series, Peter and Billy sit in silence after watching the video of a minor league player who attempted to round first, embarassingly fell, then discovered he'd already hit a home run.
    Peter: ...It's a metaphor-
    Billy: -I know it's a metaphor.
  • David Justice has been asked to try and help Scott Hatteberg make the transition to first baseman by being a mentor and building up his confidence.
    David Justice: What's your biggest fear?
    Scott Hatteberg: A baseball being hit in my general direction. (both laugh)
    David: That's funny. Seriously, what is it?
    Scott: No, seriously, that is. (walks away)
    David: (calling after him) Well, hey, good luck with that.
  • After Phillies GM Ed Wade agrees to deal for Jeremy Giambi, Beane hangs up, cutting Wade off mid-sentence:
    Peter: ...I think he was going to say something else.
  • After Billy tries to help Peter in the situation of talking to a player that he has to cut:
    Billy: Would you rather get shot in the head, or get shot five times in the chest and bleed to death?