Schwarzenhamlet: To be or not to be... Not to be. (KABOOM!)
"They [the attack dogs] are exceptionally well-trained." (Benedict snaps his fingers, and the dogs quickly form a canine pyramid.)
The scene in which Benedict kills Vivaldi.
Vivaldi: First you're my friend! Then you do a... [swirls his finger in the water] 360 on me!"
Benedict:(exasperated) 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin, 180! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!
Benedict: Trust me! *shoots Vivaldi*
Danny realizing he's Wrong Genre Savvy when trying to play chicken with Benedict's car.
"Shit! I'm the comedy sidekick!"
Danny: "I can PROVE this is a movie! Look, a cartoon cat just walked through the door!"
Slater (blankly): So? He'll do it again tomorrow. He's one of our best officers.
The whole "Cops Getting Assigned Sidekicks" thing.
Also, Danny goes cross-eyed and moans as Slater's car is about to land on the Coca-Cola semi-truck.
The black van chasing them unsuccessfully tries to copy Slater's stunt and explodes, the effects of which happen behind Slater as he assures Danny that he'll live to experience all the joys of young adulthood, such as acne and premature ejaculation, and his first divorce.
Benedict is stunned to find that you can steal a car in the real world without police sirens instantly sounding. So he goes to a garage and shoots a mechanic. He then immediately checks his watch and starts counting, waiting for the sirens. He fires another shot, just in case:
Benedict: Hello! I just killed a man and I did it on purpose!
Benedict: I have just shot a man and I want to confess!
Vivaldi:(cocks gun) You ain't no genius yourself, kid.
Two cops show up outside a supposed crack house:
1st cop: Are you sure this is the right address? This don't look like no crack house to me.
2nd cop: What do you want? Sixty guys dancing on the lawn, throwing cocaine at each other? Just kick the door in.
When Slater walks into his apartment and shoots his closet twice. A dead assassin's corpse falls out.
Danny: How'd you know there was a guy in there?
Slater: There's always a guy in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors.
Apparently this is supposed to be a gag that happens once per Jack Slater movie.
In the opening, a cop blocks Slater from entering the building where the Ripper is holed up.
Slater: Hey! You want to be a farmer? Here's a couple of 'achers!' (executes a Groin Attack that launches the cop six feet in the air)
Benedict has a subtle one. When Slater crashes the pickup truck through Benedict's front door, he gets a look on his face that screams, "Again?"
When Danny finally points out Vivaldi's house, Slater goes into Sarcasm Mode, and it is absolutely hilarious.
Danny: The bad guys are in there! (points)
Slater: You know something? You should be wearing this. (hands Danny his badge)
Danny: (takes the badge) I don't think I've earned it yet.
Slater: You don't understand. You just solved the entire case. You just revolutionized the entire history of police training. All those years at the Academy studying human character, psyche of the terrorist, fingerprint analysis, all the courses that I've taken in surveillance, hostage negotiation, and criminal psychology. I mean, all I had to do was just drive around the neighborhood and point my finger at a house and say "THE BAD GUYS ARE IN THERE!"
Danny: You think you're funny, don't you?
Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian, Arnold Braunschweiger.