- (From Vol. 1: Evil Dead has just defeated Redneck Devil Without a Cause in about 10 seconds.)3D (Violent J): "That was the fastest match in JCW history!"
Gweedo (Shaggy 2 Dope): "Who gives a fuck?"
Luscious Johnny Stark (Jamie Madrox): "I don't know whether to laugh or cry or what the hell to do."
Gweedo: "That doesn't mean one fucking thing. That's no kind of accomplishment. It's only the second fucking match in JCW history any fucking way!" - (From Vol. 2)Slick Rick Buggles (Legz Diamond): "From Asslick, KY, weighing in at 725 FUCKING POUNDS, HORNSWAGGLIN' HILLBILLY!"
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