- "I'm possessed!"
- Jack trying to ignore Tuck by watching Scrabble on his TV, only to have Tuck set it on fire.
Pete: But don't worry, buddy. We'll do all we can to get you out of this civilian.Tuck: (To Pete, just Jack can hear him.) You better, you two-faced son of a bitch!Jack: (beat) Tuck says, "Thank you".Pete: Yeah.
- "Who's the Cowboy?!" "Er, that's classified."
- Jack starts freaking out as the bad guys threaten to cut his hand off, resulting in his face shaking and shifting very fast. Even the bad guys are freaked out.
- After delivering a lengthy, dramatic speech to Jack about the geopolitical implications of miniaturisation as a weapon, and speculating about which nation will control the keys to this newfound power-breaker, Scrimshaw ends up concluding "Frankly, I don't give a shit. I'm only in this for the money."
- Mr. Igoe popping the clown's balloon as he leaves the shopping mall.
- "I'm in a man! I'll be a son-of-a-bitch, I'm in a strange man surrounded by strange people in a strange room!"
- The ending. As Tuck and Lydia are driven off for their honeymoon, Jack notices the driver has very familiar snakeskin cowboy boots. He deduces it must be "The Cowboy", and Tuck is in danger. So what does he do? He tells his psychiatrist he's cured, tells his Stalker with a Crush to take a hike, and quits his dead-end job so he can race off to the rescue.
- The credit "Martin Short's Interiors Produced At Industrial Light and Magic."