Funny / Halo 2

  • The beginning of the level, "Gravemind"
    Prophet of Truth: We are all greatly concerned. The release of the parasite was unexpected and unfortunate. But there is no need to panic. In truth, this is a time to rejoice, a moment that all the Covenant should savor, for the Sacred Icon has been found, and with it our path is clear, our entry into the Divine Beyond guaranteed. The Great Journey is nigh and nothing, not even The Flood, can stop it!
    (The Master Chief teleports in, right next to a Grunt carrying a Needler.)
    Master Chief: Boo.
    Grunt: AAAIIIEE!!
  • During the Scarab Attack.
    Soldier: Do you see this look? It's TERROR.
    Sergeant: Marine, did I give you permission to bitch?
  • During Johnson's Scarab Attack:
    Johnson: Knock Knock!
  • Cortana: The message just repeats. "Regret, Regret, Regret."
    Miranda: Catchy. Any idea what it means?
    Johnson: "Dear Humanity, we regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth, and we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!"
    Marines: "Ooh-rah!!"
    • Gets even better once your ride gets shot down and you begin the level proper, revealing the name of the section you're playing.
    They'll Regret That Too
  • Johnson drops a Scorpion for Chief.
    Cortana: Thanks for the tank. He (Chief) never gets me anything.
    Johnson: Oh, I know what the ladies like.
    • Cue the next section's title: "Ladies like armor plating."