Funny: Drive Angry

  • "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."
  • It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several assailants while doing his special oil check on the waitress AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
    • This is also hilarious later on when the shell-shocked waitress is trying to explain what happened to the cops.
  • You know what? The Accountant. Just the Accountant.
    • The Accountant's very first line in the film.
    The Accountant: You, fat fuck!
    • When the first stoner reacts to him bursting from his overturned car.
    Teen #1: Jesus!
    The Accountant: Carpenter. And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.
    • And then when he is addressing the two stoners.
    Teen #2: You almost fucking killed me, man!
    The Accountant: Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (looks over at the other guy) You I'll see in three months. (walks away)
    Teen #1: What does that mean?!
    • This exchange between the Accountant and one of the cultists after the former notices the latter's pentagram tattoo:
    Accountant: What's that?
    Cultist: A symbol of our pact with Lord Satan.
    Accountant: A pact, huh? Funny; he's never mentioned you. (looks at the Cultist's shattered legs) Whoa, those are fucked!
    • After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it into the air, and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
    Captain: No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good Heaven are you a FBI agent!
    Accountant: Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just bungled into an ongoing investigation.
    • The Accountant then exposes one of the cops as a cultist working for King and tells him to call him. When the cop/cultist does, the Accountant leans in close to hear.
    • "If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."
    • The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free from his grasp, grabs the Godkiller, and trains it on him.
    Accountant: Well!

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