History Funny / DriveAngry

31st May '16 10:56:48 AM kalel32688
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* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check]] on the waitress AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
** This is also hilarious later on when the shell-shocked waitress is trying to explain what happened to the cops.



-->'''The Accountant:''' You, fat fuck!

to:

-->'''The --->'''The Accountant:''' You, fat fuck!



-->'''Teen #1:''' Jesus!
-->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter]]. And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.

to:

-->'''Teen --->'''Stoner #1:''' Jesus!
-->'''The --->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter]].Carpenter. And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.]]



-->'''Teen #2:''' You almost fucking killed me, man!
-->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months. (''walks away'')
-->'''Teen #1:''' What does that mean?!

to:

-->'''Teen --->'''Stoner #2:''' You almost fucking fuckin' killed me, man!
-->'''The --->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months. (''walks away'')
-->'''Teen --->'''Stoner #1:''' What does that mean?!



--> '''Accountant''': What's that?
--> '''Cultist''': A symbol of our pact with Lord {{Satan}}.
--> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny; he's never mentioned you. (''looks at the Cultist's shattered legs'') Whoa, those are fucked!

to:

--> ---> '''Accountant''': What's that?
--> ---> '''Cultist''': A symbol of our pact with Lord {{Satan}}.
--> ---> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny; he's never mentioned you. (''looks at the Cultist's shattered legs'') Whoa, those are fucked!



-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good Heaven are you a FBI agent!
-->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just bungled into an ongoing investigation.
** The Accountant then exposes one of the cops as a cultist working for King and tells him to call him. When the cop/cultist does, the Accountant leans in close to hear.
** "If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."

to:

-->'''Captain''': --->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good Heaven are you a FBI agent!
-->'''Accountant''': --->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just bungled into an ongoing investigation.
** *** The Accountant then exposes one of the cops as a cultist working for King and tells him to call him. When the cop/cultist does, the Accountant leans in close to hear.
** "If "'Forever?' If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."



-->'''Accountant''': Well!

to:

-->'''Accountant''': Well!--->'''Accountant''': Well!
* It may have [[CrossesTheLineTwice crossed the line twice]], but Milton firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check]] on the waitress AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
** This is also hilarious later on when the shell-shocked waitress is trying to explain what happened to the cops.
* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
9th Dec '14 6:22:18 AM kalel32688
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* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check]] on the lady in the motel AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.

to:

* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it/ it / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check]] on the lady in the motel waitress AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.



* The Accountant's very first line in the film.
-->'''The Accountant:''' You, fat fuck.

to:

* You know what? The Accountant. Just the Accountant.
**
The Accountant's very first line in the film.
-->'''The Accountant:''' You, fat fuck.fuck!



** And when he is addressing the two stoners.

to:

** And then when he is addressing the two stoners.



-->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months.
-->(''he walks away'')

to:

-->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months.
-->(''he walks
months. (''walks away'')



* This exchange between the Accountant and one of the cultists after the former notices the latter's pentagram tattoo:

to:

* ** This exchange between the Accountant and one of the cultists after the former notices the latter's pentagram tattoo:



--> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny--he's never mentioned you.
--> (''looks at the Cultist's shattered legs'')
--> '''Accountant''': Whoa, those are fucked!
* After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it into the air, and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good heaven are you a FBI agent!
-->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just stumbled onto an ongoing investigation.

to:

--> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny--he's Funny; he's never mentioned you.
-->
you. (''looks at the Cultist's shattered legs'')
--> '''Accountant''':
legs'') Whoa, those are fucked!
* ** After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it into the air, and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good heaven Heaven are you a FBI agent!
-->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just stumbled onto bungled into an ongoing investigation.



* "If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."
* The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free from his grasp, grabs the Godkiller, and trains it on him.

to:

* ** "If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."
* ** The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free from his grasp, grabs the Godkiller, and trains it on him.



* You know what? The Accountant. Just the Accountant.
8th Dec '14 8:50:45 PM BigBaragon
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Added DiffLines:

* You know what? The Accountant. Just the Accountant.
27th Jul '14 5:54:51 AM kalel32688
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-->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter.]] And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.

to:

-->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter.]] Carpenter]]. And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.



-->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're 73. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months.

to:

-->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're 73.seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months.



--> '''Cultist''': A symbol of our pact with Lord Satan.
--> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny -- he's never mentioned you.

to:

--> '''Cultist''': A symbol of our pact with Lord Satan.
{{Satan}}.
--> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny -- he's Funny--he's never mentioned you.



* After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good heaven are you an FBI agent!

to:

* After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it into the air, and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good heaven are you an a FBI agent!



* The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free and grabs the Godkiller.
-->'''Accountant''': Well!

to:

* The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free and from his grasp, grabs the Godkiller.
Godkiller, and trains it on him.
-->'''Accountant''': Well!Well!
----
19th Dec '13 9:18:01 AM kalel32688
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--> '''Accountant''': Whoa, those are fucked!

to:

--> '''Accountant''': Whoa, those are fucked!fucked!
* After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
-->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good heaven are you an FBI agent!
-->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just stumbled onto an ongoing investigation.
** The Accountant then exposes one of the cops as a cultist working for King and tells him to call him. When the cop/cultist does, the Accountant leans in close to hear.
* "If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."
* The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free and grabs the Godkiller.
-->'''Accountant''': Well!
21st Nov '13 8:51:31 AM kalel32688
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--> '''Accountant''': A pact, really? Funny -- he's never mentioned you.

to:

--> '''Accountant''': A pact, really? huh? Funny -- he's never mentioned you.



--> '''Accountant''': Wow, those are fucked!

to:

--> '''Accountant''': Wow, Whoa, those are fucked!
5th Apr '13 9:45:57 PM TheRoguePenguin
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-->'''The Accountant:''' "You, fat fuck."

to:

-->'''The Accountant:''' "You, You, fat fuck."fuck.
** When the first stoner reacts to him bursting from his overturned car.
-->'''Teen #1:''' Jesus!
-->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter.]] And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.



-->'''Teen #2:''' "You almost fucking killed me, man!"
-->'''The Accountant:''' "Not even close. I won't see you again until you're 73." (''looks over at the other guy'') "You I'll see in three months."

to:

-->'''Teen #2:''' "You You almost fucking killed me, man!"
man!
-->'''The Accountant:''' "Not Not even close. I won't see you again until you're 73." (''looks over at the other guy'') "You You I'll see in three months."



-->'''Teen #1:''' "What does that mean?!"

to:

-->'''Teen #1:''' "What What does that mean?!"mean?!
15th Jan '13 8:48:09 PM Kalaong
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* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing his special oil check on the lady in the motel AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.

to:

* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check check]] on the lady in the motel AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
6th Mar '12 1:03:44 PM SeptimusHeap
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* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing his [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean special oil check on the lady in the motel]] AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.

to:

* It may have crossed the line twice, but firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing his [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean special oil check on the lady in the motel]] motel AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
29th May '11 5:29:45 PM TBNY
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* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH/ I LIKE it/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
* It may have crossed the line twice, but blowing up several assailaints while doing his [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean special oil check on the lady in the motel]] AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.

to:

* [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH/ way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it/ Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]]
* It may have crossed the line twice, but blowing up firing at and killing several assailaints [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing his [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean special oil check on the lady in the motel]] AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
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