Avon's vicious snark is always funny.
Vila: When you get Zen [the computer] working, ask him to prescribe something for a headache, will you? I've got this shocking pain right behind the eyes.
Avon: Have you considered amputation?
Blake: Does it support any intelligent life?
Jenna: I thought they [alien plants] died if they left the planet?
Cally: No. You have to talk to them.
: That's like talking to Vila. A complete waste of time.
: How long a list would you like?
Gan: Can't find Orac [a computer]. Even tried calling his name.
: Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. That's the kind of natural stupidity no amount of training could ever hope to match.
Dayna: “Don’t you ever get tired of being right all the time?”
“No, I get tired of other people being wrong.”
Avon: This happens to be the most sophisticated lifeform that it has ever been my good fortune to come across. Present company not excepted.
Tarrant: Life? But it looks like...
: A rock. Yes. Well, when you live on the permanent dark side of a planet, nobody cares too much what you look like.
Largo: [...] I could make you an offer.
Avon: They have a sentimental value for me.
Largo: Oh, family heirlooms, eh?
Avon: No, I'm just sentimental about money.
Vila in "Powerplay" gets a wonderful scene, first yelling at Zen for not responding to him, then pretending to be an army of ten people, then when caught out still trying to carry out the deception.
Vila: Call yourself a computer? You're an idiot, Zen. You should have been melted down for scrap years ago. You electronic moron. Ooh. Help me will you, Zen. I'm in bad trouble. [Pause. A growl in the undergrowth] [to himself] Sounds big and bad tempered, I just hope it's vegetarian. Is there anybody there? [starts pretending he's part of a group of ten men and doing different voices] There's something moving out there, men. Keep your weapons ready. Yes sir. Now don't be nervous men. There are ten of us, and all heavily armed. I just hope that whoever's out there has the good sense to leave us alone. I'm going to give them ten seconds to get away from here. One, Two, Three, ... Hold your fire men. I'm a humane man. I'm going to give them another ten seconds. The poor devils don't know that it's certain death if they attack us. One, [Notices Lom's spear next to his head] Two. Aghh, Ahh, ohh oh oh.
Lom: You are hurt?
Vila: Yes, it's my arm. I think it's broken.
Lom: It has affected your mind, I think.
Vila: My mind?
Lom: You were talking to yourself in different voices.
Vila: Ah no. No, no, no, no. I was talking to my men. Communicator. My men are positioned all around here. I give them their orders through this and I can hear them answer
Lom: We've been watching you. You are alone; and you do not need to explain to me about communicators, I am quite familiar with them.
Vila: Oh. Well that seems to cover everything.