Witness: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being. Mellish: Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please? Clerk: "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."
Mellish: (bound and gagged) (makes muffled noises) Female Witness: (tearfully breaks down) Yes! Yes, I lied!...
The San Marcos Dictator Vargas calls for aid, but instead of getting the CIA he called a Jewish scholarship fund. Cue the arrival of a company of Hasidic rabbis marching through the battlezone with donation cans.
To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas.