- Wide World of Sports, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, this time bringing you live coverage of the assassination of El Presidente! With Howard Cosell himself chewing the scenery.
- Fielding Mellish's speech to American diplomats.
- The insane office-and-exercise workdesk - The Execusizor! - Mellish is forced to demonstrate.
- The courtroom trial, as one absurdity after another is added, culminating in Miss America herself accusing Mellish of being "a subversive mother".
Fielding: I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. l move for a mistrial. There's not a single homosexual on that jury.
Judge: Yes, there is.
Fielding: (gossipy) Really? Which one? ls it the big guy at the end?
Prosecutor: You're J. Edgar Hoover?!
Large Black Woman: I'm in disguise...
- Later, "Hoover" says he had Fielding's phone tapped.
Woman: Hello?Woman: Hello? Who is this?Woman: Hello? Who is this?!Woman: Hold on a second. (beat) Walter, it's for you!
Fielding: Officer Dowd, have you ever had sexual relations with a girl with really big breasts?Dowd: Yes, sir. l did.Fielding: And how did you find it?Dowd: Very erotic.Fielding: (jealous) l was... l was just checking.
Witness: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.
Mellish: Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?
Clerk: "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."
Mellish: Thank you. I just wanted to make sure you got that right.
Mellish: (bound and gagged) (makes muffled noises)
Female Witness: (tearfully breaks down) Yes! Yes, I lied!...
- Mellish attempts to cross-examine himself - as a hostile witness - to no avail, during which the jury happily passes a joint amongst themselves.
- At one point a juror is drinking out of a fish bowl.
- Mellish is found guilty, but the judge throws out the verdict on the condition Mellish never moves into his neighborhood.
- The classic moment during training when the rebel recruits are instructed that if someone is bitten by a snake, to suck out the poison. When asked, Fielding demurs, "l cannot suck anybody's leg who I'm not engaged to." However, when a busty female rebel runs through the camp clutching one of her breasts yelling, "Snake bite! Snake bite! I got bitten by a snake!", Fielding develops a huge grin and chases after her - followed by the rest of the camp.
- The rebel song... that only Esposito enjoys singing.
- The San Marcos Dictator Vargas calls for aid, but instead of getting the CIA he called the UJA (the United Jewish Appeal). Cue the arrival of a company of Hasidic rabbis marching through the battlezone with donation cans.
- To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. It's identified among the piles of bags.
Fielding (smiles weakly): Well, at least it was fair...
- Fielding gets the assignment when the rebel leader Esposito decide to draw straws among the men. He hands out each straw, making sure Fielding gets the short one.
- He's also sent to help drug and kidnap a Vargas supporter, but during the scuffle Mellish manages to drug his teammates. Cue the police showing up, forcing Mellish to try and stage the whole thing as him helping his "drunk" buddies get home. And failing.
- He escapes by grabbing a nearby tire iron and holding it up as a cross to draw a Catholic parade to follow him.
- During a Training Montage, Fielding is learning how to throw a grenade, but throws the pin. He has just long enough to make a priceless exasperated face before the grenade explodes in his hand. Later, he tries again and successfully throws the grenade, only for the pin to inexplicably explode in his hand.
- With the rebels victorious, Esposito gives his first speech to the waiting public. It's not exactly uplifting.
Esposito: From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. SILENCE! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!
(the crowd is understandably underwhelmed)
Fielding: What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?
- New Testament Cigarettes.
Priest: I smoke 'em. He smokes 'em.
Funny / Bananas
Bananas is one of those early funnier movies that the aliens from Stardust Memories wanted Allen to stick with. Other Crowning Funny bits: