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** This troper refuses to quote Cosell's entire delivery. It must be seen to be believed. A Website/YouTube [[http://youtu.be/Z1QVthvDhPo has finally been located]]...
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-->'''Fielding''': I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. I move for a mistrial. There's not a single homosexual on that jury.\\
to:
-->'''Fielding''': I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. I move for a mistrial. There's You realize there's not a single homosexual on that jury.\\jury?\\
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adding information
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** Someone finally does get through to the [=CIA=] who sends a plane-load of American troops to help intervene. Which leads to this moment:
-->'''First soldier:''' Which side are we fighting on?\\
'''Second soldier:''' CIA's not [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar taking any chances this time]]! Half of us are for, half of us are against!
-->'''First soldier:''' Which side are we fighting on?\\
'''Second soldier:''' CIA's not [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar taking any chances this time]]! Half of us are for, half of us are against!
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Changed line(s) 56 (click to see context) from:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. It's identified among the piles of bags.
to:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of [[Main/OvercomplicatedMenuOrder thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw.coleslaw]]. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. It's identified among the piles of bags.
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
'''Female Witness''': ''(tearfully breaks down)'' Yes! Yes, I lied!...
to:
'''Female Witness''': Yes, yes I did.\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' ''(panicked)'' No!... I-I don't remember.\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' No!\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' Don't put words in my mouth!\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness''': ''(tearfully breaks down)'' Yes! Yes, it's true! Ilied!...lied!
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' ''(panicked)'' No!... I-I don't remember.\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' No!\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness:''' Don't put words in my mouth!\\
'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\\
'''Female Witness''': ''(tearfully breaks down)'' Yes! Yes, it's true! I
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
'''Female Witness''': (tearfully breaks down) Yes! Yes, I lied!...
to:
'''Female Witness''': (tearfully ''(tearfully breaks down) down)'' Yes! Yes, I lied!...
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Changed line(s) 37 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Mellish''': (bound and gagged) (makes muffled noises)\\
to:
--->'''Mellish''': (bound ''(bound and gagged) (makes gagged, making muffled noises)\\noises)''\\
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* [[https://youtu.be/8a3mk9sp0oE The courtroom trial]], as one absurdity after another is added, culminating in Miss America herself accusing Mellish of being "a subversive mother".
to:
* [[https://youtu.be/8a3mk9sp0oE The courtroom trial]], as one absurdity after another is added, culminating in Miss America herself accusing Mellish of being "a subversive mother".added.
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'''Large Black Woman''': [[HilariousInHindsight I have many enemies, and I rarely go out unless I'm in disguise]]...
to:
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** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing an aria from ''Theatre/CavalleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion.
to:
** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing an aria from ''Theatre/CavalleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion.portion, while a juror is drinking out of a fish bowl.
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** At one point a juror is drinking out of a fish bowl.
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** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing ''Theatre/CavelleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion.
to:
** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing ''Theatre/CavelleriaRusticana'' an aria from ''Theatre/CavalleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion.
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to:
** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing ''Theatre/CavelleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion.
--->'''Prosecutor:''' Tell the court why you think he's a traitor to his country.\\
'''Miss America:''' I think Mr. Mellish is a traitor to this country because his views are different from the views of the president, and others of his kind. Differences of opinion should be tolerated. But not when they're too different. [[SophisticatedAsHell Then he becomes a subversive mother.]]
--->'''Prosecutor:''' Tell the court why you think he's a traitor to his country.\\
'''Miss America:''' I think Mr. Mellish is a traitor to this country because his views are different from the views of the president, and others of his kind. Differences of opinion should be tolerated. But not when they're too different. [[SophisticatedAsHell Then he becomes a subversive mother.]]
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--->'''Woman:''' Hello?
Deleted line(s) 19,20 (click to see context) :
--->'''Woman:''' Hello?
--->''(Fielding [[HarassingPhoneCall breathing heavily into the phone]])''
--->''(Fielding [[HarassingPhoneCall breathing heavily into the phone]])''
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--->'''Prosecutor''': You're J. Edgar Hoover?!\\
'''Large Black Woman''': [[HilariousInHindsight I'm in disguise]]...
'''Large Black Woman''': [[HilariousInHindsight I'm in disguise]]...
to:
--->'''Prosecutor''': You're J. Edgar Hoover?!\\
Will you tell the court why you're dressed like this?\\
'''Large Black Woman''': [[HilariousInHindsight I have many enemies, and I rarely go out unless I'm in disguise]]...
'''Large Black Woman''': [[HilariousInHindsight I have many enemies, and I rarely go out unless I'm in disguise]]...
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adding funny moments.
** Fielding's trip back to the United States has him [[ClarkKenting disguising himself]] with arguably the worst fake beard in human history. Upon his arrival, because he's coming from a Spanish-speaking country, a translator is provided even though Fielding speaks English[[note]]to be fair, that's only most of the time[[/note]]. The sheer insanity of having the translator work English-to-English isn't even remarked upon until the sanitarium workers show up to pursue the translator with a butterfly net.
Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Fielding''': I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. l move for a mistrial. There's not a single homosexual on that jury.\\
to:
-->'''Fielding''': I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. l I move for a mistrial. There's not a single homosexual on that jury.\\
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--->'''Fielding:''' Does the codename "Sapphire" mean anything to you?!
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Changed line(s) 57 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Priest:''' I smoke 'em. ''He'' smokes 'em.
to:
-->'''Priest:''' I smoke 'em. ''He'' smokes 'em.'em.
* Then there's Roger Grimsley reporting that the NRA declares "death a good thing".
* Then there's Roger Grimsley reporting that the NRA declares "death a good thing".
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
* Fielding Mellish's speech to American diplomats.
to:
* Fielding Mellish's speech to American diplomats.diplomats -- and almost telling a dirty FarmersDaughter joke.
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I want to cut the Main redirect.
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* WideWorldOfSports, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, this time bringing you live coverage of the assassination of El Presidente! With Howard Cosell [[LargeHam himself]] chewing the scenery.
to:
* WideWorldOfSports, ''Series/WideWorldOfSports'', the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, this time bringing you live coverage of the assassination of El Presidente! With Howard Cosell [[LargeHam himself]] chewing the scenery.
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** At one point a juror is drinking out of a fish bowl.
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* The rebel song... that only Esposito enjoys singing.
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** [[spoiler:He escapes by grabbing a nearby tire iron and holding it up as a cross to draw a Catholic parade to follow him.]]
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* With the rebels victorious, Esposito gives his first speech to the waiting public. It's not exactly uplifting.
-->'''Esposito''': From this day on, [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish]]. SILENCE! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!\\
(the crowd is understandably underwhelmed)\\
'''Fielding''': What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?
-->'''Esposito''': From this day on, [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish]]. SILENCE! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!\\
(the crowd is understandably underwhelmed)\\
'''Fielding''': What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?
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** Fielding gets the assignment when the rebel leader Esposito decide to draw straws among the men. He hands out each straw, making sure Fielding gets the short one.
-->'''Fielding''' (smiles weakly): Well, at least it was fair...
-->'''Fielding''' (smiles weakly): Well, at least it was fair...
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Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. [[LudicriousPrecision It's identified among the piles of bags]].
to:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. [[LudicriousPrecision It's identified among the piles of bags]].bags.
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Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. It's identified among the piles of bags.
to:
* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of cole slaw. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. [[LudicriousPrecision It's identified among the piles of bags.bags]].
