"Doctor. My sister has cancer." ^ "ZOMBIE CANCER!"
- Are you a bee, seriously?
- Why the fuck am I connected TO THE BEE, JESUS!
- (choosing his partner) OK, let's see here. Uuuuuum...(considers Charmy the Bee) Fuck no. (Charmy starts crying)
- I'm gonna go to the store and buy some pot.
- Word UP, Vex!
- Yeah, crocodile! Awww yeah!
- "Take about five dozen eggs, start puttin' them in a bowl, mix the FUCK out of 'em, and what do you get? PENIS!"
- WHERE'S MY WIFE?!?!
- CHOO CHOO! All aboard da Cole Train, baby!
- Oh my God hotness I wanna bang you!
- Snake brags about how he killed a whole bunch of guards and "didn't even break a sweat," only to immediately start sweating waterfalls.Snake: Shit. I killed a dog by sweating.
- The ladder exchange.Snake: "SHUT UP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE I KNOW HOW TO CLIMB A LADDER JESUS OW MY EAR!!!!"Jesus: "Sorry bruh"Snake: "Thanks Jesus!"Jesus: "It's coo'~"
- The safety's on! *twists gun into a balloon animal, eats gun*
- "DON'T JUST STAND THERE, SHOOT!" "You fucking ATE MY GUN."
- The infamously obscure "Hungry for Worms" joke.Liquid Snake: Hello, Snake, it's been a while. Do you remember me?Solid Snake: Liquid?Liquid: No, this is McDonell Miller, your old buddy.Snake: Who? Are you from Snake's Revenge?Liquid: No, Snake, don't you remem-Snake: Why's there a helicopter in the background?Liquid: It's my stomach, I'm hungry.Snake: Hungry for worms?Liquid: No, hungry for words![both chortle]Snake: Shut up.
- Followed by this incredibly immature Toilet Humor scene that is still fucking hilarious.Snake: Hey, are you taking a dump?Donald Andersonnote : Hell, yeah!Snake: So, tell me about Metal Gear.Anderson: You knew?Snake: THE GAME IS FUCKING CALLED "METAL GEAR SOLID".[loud, wet fart noise]Anderson: Yeah... [farting] Aw yeah... [farting] Mmm, yeah. [farting] Mmm, mmm, mmm. Yeah, well, they're making a new Metal Gear, and stuff, and I talked. I gave 'em the password. [fart] yeah... [fart] Aw yeah. Y'know when you have diarrhea, and it doesn't hurt when it comes out? It's so satisfyin', man.Snake: Gross. [kills Anderson]
- The entire Revolver Ocelot sequence.Ocelot: This gun, is the best gun ever.Snake: Oh.[SLICE!]Grey Fox: Cool, maybe this'll come in handy for a stupid plot device in the sequel.Ocelot: WHAT THE HELL WE DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT YET
- OKAY, I guess I'll use my cigarettes I hid in my STOMACH!! AWESOME!
- *followed by Snake choking on his own cigarette smoke whilst dodging lasers*
- This exchange between Solid Snake and Vulcan Raven:Vulcan Raven: CRYPTIC METAPHOR!
Snake: Do you seriously think this is fucking fair?
Vulcan Raven: (Deadpan) Just throw grenades at me.
Snake: Oh. (blows him up) Awesome! (flies away)- "The raven on my head thirsts for his blood!" "DAAAAMN RIGHT, NIGGA! MMM-MMM!"
- "This is like one of my Japanese animes!"
- "AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT PISS! AND SHIT! AND YOU'RE ALL TALKING ABOUT SOME STUPID JAPANESE SHIT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT!"
- (starts sobbing)
- -_-
- "AHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT PISS! AND SHIT! AND YOU'RE ALL TALKING ABOUT SOME STUPID JAPANESE SHIT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT!"
- This:Mantis: You're supposed to hit her!Snake: Damn right I'm gonna hit that!Mantis: Goddammit! (knocks Meryl out)Snake: Ah, what the fuck! Asshole!
- "Oh gee whiz I hope a tank doesn't totally come at out of nowhere and own me!" (gets shot by a tank). "You know, seriously! I'm getting a little FUCKING PISSED OFF!"
- "Hey Snake, a tank is gonna totally come out of nowhere and—" "SHUT UP!"
- And right before that:(Snake gets blown up by bombs)Egoraptor: What the fuck?! No one told me there were bombs there!Meryl: Hey, Snake, there are bombs there.Snake: AW, THANKS, BITCH.
- And the one before that:(Snake gets sliced by laser grid)Egoraptor: What the fuck?! No one told me there were lasers there!Meryl: Hey, Snake, there are lasers there.Snake: (now a pile of mush) Grlbrlbrlbrlblrblrlrl!
- And the one before that:
- This:Snake: "WHOAJESUSCHRISTYOU'RESOFUCKINGHOT!!!"Jesus: "Thanks, brah."
- The part with the urine. The entire part.Otacon: Oh my god, I'm so scared! *blubbering as urine sprays everywhereGray Fox: AW SHIT DAWG! THIS IS DISGUSTING! OH MY GOD, THIS IS DISGUSTING AS HELL!Snake: Hey guys, what's goin o- OH GAW, JESUS CHRIST, UGH!Jesus Christ: Hey man, you called- OH GOD! OH GOD!God: Hey guys what's- OH JEEZ! AW, THERE'S PISS EVERYWHERE, GAH! WHY'D I EVEN INVENT PISS IT'S SO GROSS, UGH!Gray Fox: YO! STOP PISSIN' DAWG!Otacon: Ok. :(
- GOD! I HAVE FUCKING PISS ALL OVER ME!
- Egoraptor fights Psycho Mantis:Psycho Mantis: So, you like to play Castlevania!Egoraptor: Whoa, wha? Whoa j- WHAT!?
- Gray Fox's voice.Gray Fox: Yo yo yo, b-boy Snake dawg G.Snake: What.Gray Fox: Yeah yeah aight, listen up. Launch a motherfuckin' missile to blat blat dat power-majigger, dawg, ye motherfucker.Snake: GOD HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW MY PHONE NUMBER GOD.Gray Fox: Ye ye, aight... just call me... Deepthroat.Snake: Gross.
- "GRAY FOX!"Snake: "Hey, whatever-your-name-is, stupid bitch, I dunno, that was Gray Fox!"Naomi: Yeah, I know. I forgot to tell you.Snake: You know, you're a bitch.Naomi: He was an experiment.Snake: In what, S&M or something?!Naomi: Shut up, Snake! You're hurting my feelings inadverdently! :'(Snake: FINE, GO BE ALL FUCKIN' MYSTERIOUS SEE IF I CARE! >:(
- "Look, I'm about to say a lotta of shit, and explain like, a million things that don't make any sense, so you might as well like, skip this part or something"
- "Oh, okay; at least you had the decency to tell me. Fuckin' bombs..."
- Almost the entire video consists of Tifa trying to get Cloud and Vincent to fight instead of obsess over their issues. The ending just makes it even funnier.Old Man: (to a kid) And that's why it's the best game ever!
- There are deep lacerations in the sternum.....WHERE ALIENS HAVE TAKEN OVER HIS BODY!!!
- UHWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????
- THEY'RE SHOOTING X-RAY BEAMS OUT OF THEIR RADIOACTIVE SUPERCORES! USE YOUR ZAPPY-GUN TO STOP THEM!
- Dr... my sister has cancer.
- *angry face*
- ZOMBIE CANCER!
- *angry face*
- Here, let me assist you, doctor.
- :O
- Doctor we need your help defusing this atom bomb.
- ALL IN A DAY'S WORK!
- OPEN THAT SHIT UP! [bomb turns into a light cycle field of all things]
- " sex: ;D"
- ...god these-FUCKIN' LIPS!
- I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DOUBLE CHIN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I'LL KILL YOU!
- Ninja: OH YOU THINK THAT'S HARD? I'M JUST THE TUTORIAL LEVEL, THERE'S THE NEXT LEVEL OVER THERE!
(camera switches to an army of buff ninjas)
Buff Ninja: Whaaat's up.
Player: OGOD HELP ME!
Ninja: GOD CAN'T HELP YOU NOW!! - Ninja: HEY! There's a ninja with huge boobs over there...
Ayane: Hi.
Player: Uh.... CoooooOOOOOOL?!?!
Ninja: IT WOULD BE IF YOU WEREN'T GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED SO HARD!! - Strategy Guide: HEY YOU BITCH! I'M THE STRATEGY GUIDE! YOU CAN'T MESS WITH ME!Player: Thank god you're here!Strategy Guide: Don't worry pal, I'll sa-*gets stabbed by the ninja, who turns to the player and gives him a Death GlarePlayer: Oh god.
- The whole thing really but these are highlights:
- "Ready. Doesn't. Even. FUCKING. DESCRIBE IIIIIT!" The face he makes is ... both horrifying and hilarious.
- He bites the other guy's dick.....
- Then they crush the game and snort it ...... 0.o
- In the ytp version, aptly titled, "GAYLO REACH" by cs188, the lines are fantastically sentenced mixed to say, "Dude, so, are you ready? For FUCKING?!".
Pokeawesome: Just a Pokemon Battle
- Pikachu's entire speech after getting his knee injuryOh, God! My fucking knee! That's me knee! Dammit! Shhhiit! Aaaaaawww, man!
- "WHY DON'T YOU EVOLVE ME YOU ASSHOLE?! You want me to LOSE?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!"
- "WE DO IT FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!"
- "Stupid evolved prick! What do you even do?! You're just a plant-...Shut up, man!
- "Oh no! Venusaur! Counter attack with whatever you feel like, man!
- Pikachu goes through the very finest of Deranged Animation after his Waterfall Puke.
- "All you feed me is poffins! I NEED NOURISHMENT!!"
- Link attempting to bring his uncle back to life by shoving the fairy down his throat.
- I want to put my wiener in that! I got to know! Is she related to me!?Zelda: Link, come save me.Link: SHUT UP, ZELDA!!!
Poke Awesome 2: Getting A Gym Badge
- "DEFEATED NOW, BITCH?!"
- Oh, no my fridge! It has milk and eggs in it!
- Ooniiiiiixx!
Other
- Ladies and gentlemen, Saints Row: The Third in a nutshell.
- The entirety of the PSP Squirrels video.Squirrel #1: Hey man! Whaddaya doin'?Squirrel #2: I'm playin' nut!Squirrel #1: Why won't you come outside?<cut to two Sony employees watching the commercial on TV>Executive: Larry, what the fuck is this shit?Larry: Well it's, uh, it's an advertising campaign we tried to come up with to, uh, appeal to the youthful spirit of America!<cut to the commercial again>Squirrel: HEY! You can play nut... OUTSIIIIIDE? WUUUUUUUUUUT!?—"PSP. It's a
piece of shitnut, you can play... outside."<cut to Sony>Executive: What the fuck was that!? That was the stupidest fu- I'm gonna stab you! I'M GONNA FUCKING STAB YOU!Larry: OH GOD! OH GOD! WHY DO YOU HAVE A KNIFE?Executive: Because, Larry! Because just for such an occasion! Just for such an occasion, where you fucking make the stupidest commercial in the world! And I'm like... YOU BITCH! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE US ALL GO BANKRUPT! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I DON'T WANNA BUY A PSP ANYMORE! AAAHHH~! I'M SO FUCKING PISSED AT YOU LARRY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!Larry: OH GOD DON'T KILL ME!Executive: I HAVE A GUN IN MY POCKET!!Larry: WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN IN YOUR POCKET!?Executive: BECAUSE- AAAAAAAAHHHH!! BOOM-BOOM!Larry: OH GOD! Oh you shot me two times!Executive: I'm sorry, I'LL SHOOT YOU THREE TIMES! I'LL SHOOT YOU THREE TIMES!! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, IF YOU DON'T CHANGE THIS GODDAMNED COMMERCIAL!Larry: It already went out!Executive: IT ALREADY WENT—WHAT?!? <panting> WHAAAAAAAAAT?!? You already sent this out to TVs, EVERYWHERE, so Sony will go ban—MY FAMILY! I HAVE A FAMILY TO FEED! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!—"PSP. I have a family to feed."
