- Halfway through the movie Pest develops a crush on Sam. She tries to ignore his clumsy advances in Ron's weed room, but never rebukes him.
- Hi-Hatz getting attacked in the elevator. The moment of funny comes along when Brewis calls the same elevator down, and the door opens revealing Hi-Hatz, drenched in blood, with three mangled bodies. He calmly walks out and says, "You should probably take the next one, blud," before calmly walking off.
- "Oh, check it out, he's got a puppet!"
- "Call Simon Cowell!" "Aliens got talent, innit?"
- "You swear too much, lady."
- "We gotta catch 'em all!" "Calm down Biggz — this ain't Pokémon!"
- "It could be diseased. You get me?" "I don't want no chlamydia."
- After Pest gets injured the boys hole up in Sam's flat, to which Sam responds by brandishing a guitar and screaming at them.
Sam: GET OUT OF MY FUCKING FLAT!!
- The boys give her one look before returning to what they were doing.
- "Go home, lock your doors, do your homework, and watch Naruto."
- Watching two elementary school age kids take down an alien about three times their size with a water gun (filled with petrol) and a firework is equal parts awesome and hilarious.
Probs: No one's gonna ever call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy!
Mayhem: Anytime, blood, anytime!Probs: We don't give a fuck, man.Cop: Armed police, stay where you are!Mayhem & Probs: Fuck.
- And then right afterwards they start bragging about having killed the alien when they suddenly find themselves in the sights of a group of heavily armed cops:
- The kids' various nicknames for the aliens: Gollums, Dobbies, some Gears of War thing and big alien gorilla wolf motherfuckers.
- "What's Ron's weed room?" "It's a big room, filled with weed, and it's Ron's." Duh.