Funny / Animal House

  • "Assume the Position!" "Thank you, sir! May I have another?" Made it even funnier when you see who plays the guy getting spanked. On the DVD, Bacon tells of how, during the film's premiere, he didn't get to sit with the rest of the cast and crew because the ushers didn't believe he was in the movie. Talk about being a Butt Monkey all throughout...
  • The food fight scene. Preceded by the whole cafeteria scene of Bluto tasting every dish the cafeteria has on display. You will never see a funnier Jell-O eating scene in your life...
  • Almost anything Dean Wormer says.
    "It's about time someone put their foot down, and that foot... is me."
    "Put a sock in it boy, or else you'll be out of here like shit through a goose."
  • "Double Secret Probation."
  • Dean Wormer's desire to see Delta House kicked off campus forever:
    Dean Wormer: I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of Fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. (dramatic pause) Every spring, the toilets... explode.
  • "Bluto, did you just chug an entire bottle of Jack Daniels?"
  • And quite possibly the greatest Rousing Speech in all of filmdom. The whole thing is epic, but especially this:
    Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over till WE say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO!
    Otter: "Germans?"
    Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
  • Otter and Boon practice their golf swings.
    Boon: I gotta work on my game.
    Otter: No, no, no, don't think of it as work. The whole point is... just to enjoy yourself.
    Neidermeyer: (screams in the distance)
    • And shortly before:
      Boon (after watching Neidermeyer verbally abuse Flounder): A vicious mother, isn't he?
      Otter: He can't do that to our pledges.
      Boon: Only we can do that to our pledges!
  • Everything about the scene where the pack walks into a black bar.
    • "We are gonna die."
    • A gigantic black man asks "Do you mind if we dance with your dates?" and then uproots and removes the table they were sitting by, much to the girl's horror. The guys then make themselves scarce and run for their lives.
    • "The Negroes took our dates!"
  • When they accidentally kill the horse. "HOLY SHIT!"
    • What sells the scene is that not only did D-Day load the gun with blanks as a Secret Test of Character, but Flounder deliberately misses the horse by shooting the gun in the air! And the second he does that, the horse still drops dead. The Oh Crap! reactions from D-Day and Bluto when when they hear the horse go "thud" is just the appetizer for the Mass "Oh, Crap!" when they join Flounder panicking over the dead horse.
      Bluto: Holy shit!
      D-Day: There were blanks in that gun!
      Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him!
      Bluto: Holy shit!
      (D-Day checks the gun)
      D-Day: There WERE blanks in that gun!
      Flounder: Maybe he had a heart attack?
      Bluto: Holy shit!
      (The three of them then look at each other, scream, and book it out of there like a bat outta hell.)
    • With the following scene of Dean Wormer and the town's mayor matter-of-factly discussing the upcoming parade with the horse's legs sticking straight up on the opposite side of the room, and then the 'disposal guy', after measuring the horse and the doorway, comes back in with a chainsaw...
  • "I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer..." "Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer!" Although he did ask for it. "OUT WITH IT!"
  • The Delta Pledge and Delta Naming scene.
    Bluto: Dorfman, I've given this a lot of thought. From now on, your Delta Tau name is... Flounder.
  • Bluto stumbles into a folk singer and a captive female audience: "I gave my love... a cherry... that had no stone..." Cue guitar smash. It's the slow burn Bluto gives as he stands there, taking in the utter wretchedness of that song. It's the anticipation of his response that makes it so... enjoyable. And to top it, he mutters a fake sheepish "sorry" after the mayhem.
  • During the Misfit Mobilization Moment when the Deltas are transforming Fred's car into the Death Tank, Bluto measures the front window's width and length carefully with a tape measure... before he picks up a hammer and starts smashing it in.
  • ""
  • "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
  • When the Playboy bunny crashes through a boy's room: "THANK YOU, GOD!"
  • "Senator and Mrs. John Blutarsky"
  • Bluto wiggling his eyebrows at us while spying on the undressing Mandy.
  • "They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!"
  • "Seven years of college down the drain... might as well join the fucking Peace Corps."
  • Delta House's contribution to the Faber parade: "Eat Me."
  • The Deathmobile rams a pro-integration float in the parade and tears completely apart its white and black hands.
  • Clorette introduces Pinto to her father as "the boy who molested me last month", then adds "we have to get married." And as he runs away, Pinto's future is shown: "Editor-in-chief, National Lampoon".