Funny / Amelia Bedelia

• In "Thank You, Amelia Bedelia", Mrs. Rogers asks Amelia Bedelia to remove some spots^note stains from her bright pink dress. Amelia Bedelia fails to find any spots on the dress, but notices another one covered in polka dots. She proceeds to grab some scissors, and cut every spot out of it.
• In "Amelia Bedelia and the Surprise Shower", Amelia Bedelia and her Cousin Alcolu help Mrs. Rogers throw a surprise bridal shower for one of her friends, Miss Alma.^note Yes, they eventually end up drenching water on her. When Alcolu asks for Amelia Bedelia's help in pruning the hedges, she grabs a box of prunes, and teaches him how to stick a prune onto a branch of a hedge. He repeats her act until all the hedges have prunes on them.
• In "Good Work, Amelia Bedelia", Mrs. Rogers asks Amelia Bedelia to bake a loaf of bread. When the time comes for Amelia Bedelia to let the dough rise, then punch it down, the dough doesn't rise the way she expects it to. She decides to tie some string to the pan, and raise it above the table. She leaves the dough raised until Mr. and Mrs. Rogers come home. After Mr. Rogers questions the floating pan, Amelia Bedelia punches it repeatedly, until the dough falls out.
• In "Amelia Bedelia Dances Off", one of the young Amelia Bedelia chapter books, Amelia and her mother get swept up on a whirlwind shopping trip by Amelia's aunt Wanda. When they get back, they find Amelia's father vacuuming up popcorn they had spilled, and when he sees their shopping bags, he comments "I clean up the family room and you clean out our bank account?" Wanda says that it was the annual sale, so "Your wife saved tons of money." Amelia comments, "We didn't even use money. Mom used a little plastic card."
  • In the same book, someone asks if a teacher is French, but Dana says no, she is Russian. Somebody mishears that as "rushing" and asks why the teacher is in a hurry, so Dana says, "She's Russian because she's from Russia", which prompts Amelia to say, "No wonder she's in a hurry. Russia is a long way from the U.S.A."
  • When tights are on the shopping list, Amelia worries they'd be too restrictive and asks for a pair of "looses" instead.
• In "Amelia Bedelia's First Field Trip", one of the young Amelia Bedelia picture books, Amelia's teacher asks her to "toss the salad," with predictable results.
• Total Black Comedy, but in "Amelia Bedelia Makes a Splash!", a widow and other characters refer to the dead status of the widow's husband around Amelia Bedelia using only euphemisms, causing her to become thoroughly confused until she is finally told directly that the widow's husband is dead.
  • Also in "Amelia Bedelia Makes a Splash", Amelia Bedelia is subjected to Friendly Tickle Torture by her friends, who are egged on by her parents, who tell them the best places to tickle her, such as behind her ears.
  • Same book, when Amelia Bedelia finds a fossil, she calls it a "real live fossil", only to be told that "fossils are real dead".
• From "Calling Doctor Amelia Bedelia":
  • It starts with Amelia frying eggs on Mr Rogers's car. He said that it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk, but she thought that was too dirty.
  • When Mr Rogers takes a pill and says it's for a headache, Amelia Bedelia asks why he'd want a headache. Mr Rogers says that he has one now, so Amelia Bedelia asks why he'd want another one. Then when he lets Amelia out of the car, he remarks that he's getting rid of his biggest headache.
  • When a lady says that she has hives, Amelia Bedelia says, "I bet you have honey", and the woman says, "Don't call me honey."
  • When a man says that he's a bit "hoarse", has a "frog in [his] throat" and is "as sick as a dog", Amelia Bedelia thinks he should call a vet.
  • Amelia Bedelia thinking that a blood test is "True or false: Do you have blood?"
  • Amelia Bedelia thinking that the sticks "depress people's tongues" because a stick with no ice block "would depress anyone's tongue".
• In "Amelia Bedelia and the Cat", Amelia Bedelia thinks she's talking to a lion when really it's a guy called Mr. Lyon (who's also a vegetarian and works at a zoo).
• In "Amelia Bedelia Shapes Up", after a series of misunderstandings about what to call the coach, she ends up saying, "No, it's just Coach, period." Since then, Amelia consistently calls her "Coach Period".
• In one book, Amelia thinks her teacher is a major in the French army, due to hearing her being described as a "French major".