Snek is a Good Boy is a Worm fanfiction by ack1308 that doesn't really take itself seriously. The titular Snek is the familiar of a wizard, giving him intelligence comparable to a young child, and can conjure up personal portals to get around and travel between worlds. He's also a boa constrictor with a magically armoured sixty-foot body. Needless to say, when he visits a random world to try and alleviate his boredom, which turns out to be Earth Bet at the time of Taylor's first outing, Hilarity Ensues.
Available on FanFiction.Net (here
), SpaceBattles.com (here) and Sufficient Velocity.com (here).
This story contains examples of:
- All-Powerful Bystander: Snek's Master (full name: The Master of the Castle) is an ancient and mind-bogglingly powerful wizard, but he's busy.[Contessa] eyed him cautiously, but he didn't seem to be about to launch an attack. "If you know who I am and where I'm from, then you're aware what's at stake," she rasped. "Billions or even trillions of lives."
"Oh, I am definitely aware." He took hold of his staff and made a pass with it. A holographic globe popped into existence in the air before them, and then another, and another and another. "Yours is not the only world in peril. Mine is not the only one I protect."
Another twitch of the staff brought into being a creature that was all glowing eyes and shadowy tentacles, at least the size of the Moon, stretching its appendages out to wrap around one of the planets and drag it into eternal darkness. "Threats abound throughout the multiverse, some of which would overwhelm your little problems in an instant, or make them much, much worse." From the surface of the planet burst lightning, striking the shadow-creature and rending it asunder. "Are you beginning to understand?" - Bag of Holding: Snek has a "not-eat place" in his throat where he can store just about anything, including people. On one occasion, it transported a woman and her wheelchair.
- Battle Trophy: Along with saving a drumstick for later, Snek brings home Leviathan's core for Massster's collection.
- Berserk Button: Don't harm children around Snek. It's a good way to get eaten.
- Big Eater: Snek is an even bigger eater than his size suggests.
- He has chowed down on a legion of demons and just felt 'a bit full' afterward.
- He has also eaten most of Leviathan in one sittingnote .
- Catlike Dragons: Snek's homeworld has sapient dragons that are somewhat vain and playful, and stretch like cats when they get up.
- Children Are Innocent: According to his Master, Snek has the mentality of a child, and he is the most innocent and friendly character in the story.
- Commander Contrarian: Carol is vehemently opposed to... basically everything that remotely changes the status quo, whether that's Amy having a hearth-dragon familiar or the family visiting Snek's homeworld. The only thing that ever stops her is when everyone else makes clear they're going to do what she opposes anyway so she might as well come along.
- Doesn't Like Guns: Snek refers to firearms as "bang-ouch weaponss" and confiscates them from people who are misusing them.
- Familiar: Snek is the familiar of a wizard, who doesn't have much bearing on the story.
- Gentle Giant: Snek is huge. He's also a big softy.
- The Great Serpent: Snek is a boa constrictor with a body sixty feet long. Luckily he's pretty friendly if you don't antagonize him first.
- Heel–Face Turn: There are three instances of this so far.
- Bonesaw is cured by the Master much earlier than canon. Riley stays in his castle to help him rather than return to Earth Bet.
- The Travelers are similarly rescued and cured of their Simurgh influence (as well as other problems, including their powers). They choose to stay on Snek's world and become fantasy adventurers.
- Butcher has had all her powers (including the conflict drives and attendant personalities) removed, leaving her in the best headspace she's been in since she triggered. With a new name ( Elmora Reborn) she's willing to start fresh and see where this new world takes her.
- The Hilarity of Hats: After a run-in with Contessa, Snek ends up wearing her fedora. Several characters comment on how adorable it looks given how tiny it is on his head.
- Hulk Speak: Snek's speech has a certain simplicity about it, including referring to himself only by his own name and addressing others by way of convenient descriptors, such as 'buzzy-bug girl' for Taylor and 'pointy metal stick man' for Armsmaster.
- I Am a Humanitarian: Snek likes eating "bad people", namely villains and Endbringers.
- Implausible Deniability: The Fallen are stuck trying to insist that Snek merely drove off Leviathan, even after he was seen swallowing one of its legs.
- Just Desserts: In a previous visit to another world, a group of lizards tried to eat Snek. Snek ate them instead. In the first chapter he also eats Lung, just to start.
- Kind Hearted Simpleton: Snek is not very smart, but he's friendly and playful.
- Outside-Context Problem: Snek is a Familiar of a wizard from a parallel world that can summon portals, is sixty feet long, and is tough enough that bullets only sting a little. It's safe to say that no one on Earth Bet, save maybe Contessa or a few other Thinkers, saw anything like him coming.
- Contessa absolutely did not see him coming. Coil did, and got nightmares out of it.
- Point of Divergence: Snek arrives on Earth Bet and manages to defeat and eat Lung on Taylor's first night out.Snek: Ssnek likess sspiccy food.
- Shoulder-Sized Dragon: Snek's world has friendly, playful miniature dragons.
- Simple-Minded Wisdom: Snek isn't overly bright, but it's remarkably hard to pull the wool over his eyes.
- Snakes Are Sinister: Absolutely averted. Snek is friendly, helpful and playful. He also enjoys skritchies.
- Spared by the Adaptation:
- Snek saves Mouse Protector from the Slaughterhouse Nine. Consequentially, Ravager is never killed by them either.
- Mouse Protector does seek out Ravager later, and gives her one heck of a wedgie.
- Noelle is captured by Snek and brought to his Master to be cured, preventing her from being killed.
- Snek saves Mouse Protector from the Slaughterhouse Nine. Consequentially, Ravager is never killed by them either.
- Sssssnake Talk: Ssnek talkss like thiss.
- Super-Toughness: Snek's scales are as tough as iron according to his Master, and all bullets do to him is sting a bit.
- Talking Animal: Snek can talk, though his vocabulary isn't huge.
- Tastes Like Chicken: This is Snek's comment about Leviathan.
- Thinking Up Portals: Snek's main mode of transportation is creating portals to other worlds.
- Third-Person Person: Snek always refers to himself by his own name.
- Would Not Hurt A Child: One of Snek's rules is that he never harms children. That doesn't keep him from capturing Bonesaw so his Master can fix her though.
