Fanfic / Dual Destinies

Two heads are better than one

Ranma Red: No way...

Ranma Blue: It can't be...

Both Ranmas: You're my BROTHER!?

The Twin Ranmas after finally being split into separate bodies

Dual Destinies is a Ranma ½ fanfic by Hung Nguyen. (A.K.A Animeaddiction)

After the latest incident with Mao Lin the Ghost Cat, Ranma's life continues to get worse. It was then a mysterious man named Taron appears before Ranma and tells him of a greater destiny lying before him that will decide the fate of the world and all creation. He brings him to another dimension where Ranma's introduced to Taron's twin brother, Soren, where they tell Ranma he is the chosen champion. However, he cannot do this alone as the chosen one has to be a pair of twins. As far as Ranma knows, he's an only child, but it turns out he houses the souls of two people due to demonic interference. Soon, Ranma gets separated into two identical bodies in which his, or rather, their curse was cured. The two Ranmas will then undergo training, trials, and tribulations to prepare for the great battle that has been occurring once every millennium for nearly 10,000 years.

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This fanfic provides examples of:

• Always Identical Twins: The Twin Ranmas are identical in appearance and martial arts skills.
• And This Is for...: Akane pounds on Ryoga after the Ranma Twins brought him and Mousse back to life and restored their human forms. She had found out about his curse and all the trouble he caused.
  Ryoga: But Akane- (SLAP!)
  Akane: That was for lying to me for a whole year!
  Ryoga: But you don't underst- (SLAP!)
  Akane: That was for all the times I defended you when I should have listened to Ranma!
  Ryoga: But Ranma- (WHAM!!!)
  Akane: AND THAT WAS FOR ANYTHING I'VE MISSED!
• Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Due to demonic influence, Happosai becomes a giant when fighting the Ranma Twins. Later, monster versions of Ryoga and Mousse attack the twins.
• Badass Back: Ranma Red and Ranma Blue void the Saotome/Tendo engagement in favor of marrying Shampoo and Ukyo. When each couple share a kiss, Akane angrily tries to mallet the both of them. Without even breaking off their kisses to Shampoo and Ukyo, Ranma Red and Ranma Blue easily stop the attack and destroy the mallet.
• Badass Teacher: Soren and Taron were the very first Chosen Twins to fight against the Dark World and since then have been tasked with training the next Chosen Twins of each millennium to continue the battle for the sake of all life.
• Be Careful What You Wish For: Akane has always adamantly denied her engagement to Ranma saying she wants nothing to do with him and wishes he be out of her life. Once Ranma is split into twins, they call off the engagement and are now engaged to Shampoo and Ukyo instead.
• Big Bad: Sharoka the demon lord of the Dark World.
• Can't Catch Up: No matter how much Ryoga and Mousse try, they can never hope to match either Ranma once they became twins and received training from the original Chosen.
• The Chosen One: Ranma Red and Ranma Blue are the latest in a line of chosen warrior twins to fight against the Dark World.
• Cold-Blooded Torture: After Akane commits suicide due to the Ranma Twins' new engagemets, her soul gets captured by the demons Arcados and Zuruka, who then torture her for their own amusement. After getting rescued and revived, she described it as being worse than rape.
• Color-Coded for Your Convenience: To tell apart each Ranma, they are Ranma Red and Ranma Blue by their shirt colors.
• Crazy-Prepared: Kami-sama. He knew Sharoka was after the Crystal of Eternity which would appear on Earth in 10,000 years and what would happen if he were to unleash its power, so he left a spell in the Time shard that would activate once all reality ceased to exist, which was to start everything over and bring the Ranma Twins back to the point minutes before the cataclysm to prevent it from happening.
• Crossover Relatives: Nodoka is revealed to be related to the Masaki family from Tenchi Muyo!. More specifically, Katsuhito is her uncle, making Ranma and Tenchi second cousins to each other.
• Curbstomp Battle: After their training, Ranma Blue and Ranma Red utterly trounce Ryoga and Mousse on two separate occasions the first time.
• Dark Action Girl: The demon sisters, Katoka and Makana.
• Deal with the Devil: Ryoga and Mousse are tricked into getting Demon Marks (believing them to be the God Mark that Ryoga got once and made him stronger than Ranma) in order to get power to defeat the Ranma twins.
• Dramatic Unmask: Shampoo fought against a masked assailant who challenged her to a fight. She loses and laments that she must now follow Amazon Law to marry this masked stranger since it was a legit fight. When she resigns herself to her opponent, Shampoo is shocked to find the masked man was actually Ranma Red, who took off his mask before giving her the Kiss of Marriage.
• Dramatically Missing the Point: After the engagement had been called off, the consequences fell hard on Akane until she could deny it no more. She tries to get Nabiki's help in getting at least one of the Ranmas to get re-engaged to her, but the middle Tendo tells her it's useless. Nabiki was able to tell both Ranmas are perfectly happy with their new engagements to Shampoo and Ukyo, which Akane denies, saying that's only because of previous circumstances that honor demanded. Nabiki tells Akane that the two Ranmas are not doing it because of family honor, but because they genuinely want to be with Shampoo and Ukyo.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • Some time after the Saotome-Tendo engagement had been nullified, Akane sinks into a depression of everything that's happened. After Nabiki drills it into her that there's no chance either Ranma will marry her and should just get on with her life, Akane winds up going to a construction site where she jumps off the tallest girder to her death, unable to go on. Turned out death wasn't the peace she was expecting as Akane's soul is later captured and tormented by a pair of demons. Both Ranma Twins break in to save her soul and bring her to life.
  • Ryoga and Mousse, unwilling to accept their losses to the Ranma twins, end up making a Deal with the Devil to try and gain the power to defeat them. It turns them into monster versions of their cursed forms, and after being defeated (again) and hearing the pleas of Akane and Shampoo to stop, they realize what they've turned into and kill themselves out of grief. Like Akane, they're eventually resurrected, albeit it's much harder as their bodies were destroyed and had to be cloned later.
• Drowning My Sorrows: Soun drinks himself into despair at bars after he accidentally disowned Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane when they refused to be engaged to the Ranma Twins. Fortunately the last bartender helped Soun to realize some important facts to help him reconcile with his family.
• Evil Only Has to Win Once: Every millennium, a pair of chosen twins will fight against the denizens of the Dark World to ensure the human world's survival, and once ten thousand years pass with no victory for the Dark World, they will be forever barred from ever trying again. If the Dark World even wins once, they will be free to assimilate the human world and make it their new Cosmic Plaything. This was why the Dark World had attempted to kill off once of the unborn twins who would later be Ranma as they were the last ones to finish the ten thousand year long fight.
• Fusion Dance: The two demons, Arcados and Zuruka, fuse into one giant monster to fight the Ranma Twins.
• Girliness Upgrade: Ukyo began to embrace her feminity after getting formally engaged to Ranma Blue.
• Happily Married: Ranma Red to Shampoo and Ranma Blue to Ukyo.
• Heroic Sacrifice: Soren and Taron mentioned to Ranma Red and Ranma Blue that one of the past Chosen Twins they trained had died saving the world.
• Hollywood Kiss: Ranma Red gives one to Shampoo after defeating her in a duel while in disguise in order to make the Amazon Marriage Law legit.
• I Cannot Self-Terminate: Gaizera the demon swordsman wants nothing more than to die as his existence has been nothing but endless suffering, being under the control of Sharoka and forced to commit heinous acts against his will. He was hoping the Ranma Twins can kill him and end his suffering.
• I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: After committing suicide and being revived later by the Ranma Twins, Akane was made to face reality and accept that neither Ranma will break off his current engagement to be with her. She realizes she's just as much to blame if not moreso that their relationship didn't work out, then asks Shampoo and Ukyou to treat both Ranmas with the love and respect she never showed him.
• Insane Troll Logic: Kodachi tries to lay claim on both Ranma Red and Ranma Blue, reasoning that "the heavens are rewarding her by giving her twice the Ranmas". She tries to attack Ukyo and Shampoo to remove them as obstacles as she's "taking it upon herself to have both Ranmas so one or the other doesn't have to suffer being with either of the girls". The Twin Ranmas had enough and incapacitate Kodachi before verbally tearing into her that they don't love her and will never love her.
• Irony: Cologne comments the irony of Soun and Genma wanting to join the children of the Saotomes and Tendos. They are joined, but not the way they intended; Nodoka offered to adopt the Tendo girls after Soun accidentally and regrettably disowned them for refusing to take on the engagement.
• Jerkass Realization: After the Ranma Twins renounce the Tendo engagement to be engaged to Ukyo and Shampoo, Akane was forced to take a long hard look at herself, making her realize she was just as much to blame for her driving Ranma away with how badly she treated him.
• Kung-Fu Wizard: Along with new martial arts techniques, both Ranmas are taught magic by Soren and Taron. Ranma Red is focused on mysticism while Ranma Blue is focused on Elemental Powers.
• Laser Blade: The Light Star Blade, wielded by Ranma Red.
• Luke, You Are My Father: Nodoka was happy to be reunited with her son, but nearly has a mental breakdown when introduced to his twin, her other son. Fortunately things turn out better after Urd comes in to explain the circumstances as to how the twins were meant to be.
• Manchild: Soun bawls when the Saotome-Tendo pact gets nullified by Nodoka's authority. She tells him in annoyance to act like a man of his age.
• Monster Clown: Ekoja the Puzzler is a gremlin jester who serves as the twins' third challenge.
• Morton's Fork: Given by Ranma Red to Barada after defeating him as part of the first trial. Ranma Red uses the Accursed spell on Barada in which his body will explode and revive as a slug if he drinks even a drop of blood. Either he drinks blood and remain a slug forever, or simply starve in which his powers will drain away. Sharoka tricks Barada into gulping down some blood, thus activating the spell, then crushes him underfoot once he turned into a slug.
• My God, What Have I Done?: After both Ranmas revealing themselves to be twins to the Tendo Household, Soun and Genma immediately jump at the chance to marry off one of them to Kasumi or Nabiki. Ranma Red and Ranma Blue tell them the engagement's off as they are now engaged to Shampoo and Ukyo respectively. Predictably, Akane reacts in rage and tries to mallet them, only for them to effortlessly stop her attack. To make it worse, Nodoka finally makes herself known to enforce that both her sons will carry on on the engagements THEY made, and that the Saotome-Tendo deal is hereby null and void. She also calls out on Akane's behavior, not appreciating how she tried to attack her sons, therefore she's deemed unsuitable. Akane realized she had angered Nodoka and thus lowered her opinion of the girl. Not only that, Akane had effectively destroyed her relationship with Ranma.
  • After Akane renounces her engagement to either Ranma once realizing getting back together with him is impossible, Soun then attempts to engaged them both to Kasumi and Nabiki. When they refuse, Soun angrily shouts out his ultimatum that either they marry the Ranma Twins or he will disown them. The Tendo girls tearfully decide to pack up when they see that the engagement meant more to Soun than his family. He immediately regrets this.
• My Greatest Second Chance: Sharoka claims victory for the Dark World once his real plan comes to fruition, the procurement of the Eternity Crystal, which would grant him the power to rule all existence. Unfortunately for him, it was too much power that it killed him in a gristly manner before the rest of existence was literally wiped out. Turned out that this was all predicted by Kami-sama himself who informs the Ranma Twins that he installed a failsafe spell in one of the crystal's fragments to reset everything and return them back to the point in which the cataclysm happened in order to prevent it.
• Official Couple: Ranma Red with Shampoo and Ranma Blue with Ukyo.
• Oh, Crap!:
  • The Ranma Twins rescue Akane's soul from Arcados and Zuruka in the Realm of Oblivion then revive her. When they see that Akane was having episodes of her traumatic experience, they realize in horror that they were tricked and that a good majority of her soul was still captive. They return to fight the two demons for the final time to rescue the last of Akane's soul and bring her back fully.
  • Near the final chapters of the story, Genma follows Soun to the Amazon Village to inform him that he had used Togenkyo water to turn Shampoo and Ukyo into men in order to force them into marrying his daughters (not realizing that they've long since been returned back to female form and that Nodoka had divorced him). He panics once the Ranma twins arrive with their wives. Genma was literally cornered by the entire village who had every intention to beat the hell out of him for what he's done. He quickly makes a break for it.
  • In the final trial, Soren and Taron realize to their horror that Sharoka was plotting to use the energies expended by the Ranma Twins during their fight with his Destroyer to unleash the Crystal of Eternity. They were shocked when Kami-sama himself stopped them from interferring, since it was actually All According to Plan.
  • In the final battle against Sharoka, the demon lord attains the Crystal of Eternity, but was taken by surprise at the sudden power buildup that blew him up into a gory mess. The Crystal then began to engulf everything into a void of nothingness. Just as it was about to reach the Ranma Twins, they voice this trope.
  Ranma Red and Ranma Blue: Oh shit.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Nabiki was shocked when Kasumi made it clear she is very aware of the current situation concerning the pact between the families no longer valid and how it has affected all parties involved. Along with worrying about Akane's well-being, they also worried about Soun and Genma's possible attempts to try and pass on the engagement to both of them, which they plan to not accept.
• Percussive Pickpocket: The fourth trial pitted the Ranma twins against Katoka and Makana who had the last fragment of the medallion needed to win the trial. During the fight, bot twins unleashed their Amaguriken technique on the demon sisters, who blast them back, mocking them for their futile attempt and gleefully pointing out that they're out of time. Ranma Blue then reveals that he swiped the last fragment from them during the last scuffle, much to the sisters' shock and anger.
• Physical God: Soren and Taron were the first Chosen Twins who fought against the Dark World 10,000 years ago and were given immortality to train the next set of Chosen Twins to fight for the next few millennia. By story's end, Soren and Taron are released from their duty and are allowed to live their lives as mortals. Ranma Red and Ranma Blue are in turn made into immortals where they oversee alternate versions of Ranma in the multiverse.
• Race Against the Clock: The fourth trial was a race against time in which the Ranma Twins had three hours to hunt down five fragments of the medallion needed to get a victory. Problem was that all the fragments were in highly dangerous places in the Dark World.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
  • Nodoka takes no nonsense from Soun Tendo when he tries to insist the Ranma twins marry his daughters "for the sake of honor". She tells him straight up that the engagement is hereby null and void since she has seen what Ranma has been put through since staying with them, not to mention how angered she was after seeing Akane attempting to assault both Ranmas moments before. Nodoka declares then and there that the engagements to both Shampoo and Ukyo are valid while the one with the Tendos is now invalid.
  • After Mousse loses an honor duel against Ranma Red, Shampoo tells Mousse to move on from her because she loves Ranma Red and is going to marry him. When Mousse refuses to let go, Shampoo angrily drills it into him that she never loved him and never will, and that his continuing to pine after her despite all this is a lost cause.
  • Ironically, Kasumi and Nabiki deliver one to Soun when he tried to get them engaged to the Ranma twins. They call out how Soun's obsession with the marriage promise had been hurting the family and tell him that it would be for the best to just drop the whole thing. Soun angrily threatens to disown his daughters if they refuse to comply to his demands. They all decide to pack up and leave, leaving Soun devastated.
  • After fully being brought back from death, Akane angrily lays it into Kuno that she will never love him and that it was never his business to begin with who she dates. From how she denounced Kuno, Akane also finally put an end to his stupid rule about fighting her for a date.
  • When Kodachi attempts to kill Shampoo and Ukyo in an attempt to claim both Ranma brothers for herself, the twins incapacitate her and tell it to her straight that they never loved her. In fact, they don't even like Kodachi to begin with and will never belong to her. The Ranmas angrily tell Kodachi to get lost, causing her to run off in tears.
  • After Ryoga is brought back to life, Akane angrily calls him out on all he's done, calling him a liar for hiding his curse from her and using it to cause Ranma trouble. She also tells it to Ryoga straight that all his problems were his own fault and not Ranma's. When Ranma Blue comes in, Ryoga angrily tries to attack him as he still blames the former Saotome for all his problems. Ranma Blue easily incapacitates Ryoga before adding in that as of now, he and Ranma Red wash their hands clean of them. They've got more important things to worry about than Ryoga's petty vengeance and needs to get over himself as it is just pathetic.
• Reconcile the Bitter Foes: After being revealed Ranma is split into twins and that they are basically the same person, Shampoo and Ukyo don't care since they are now officially engaged. The twins then point out that once they do get hitched, the two girls will be sister-in-laws, which shocks them upon the realization. The two had always been at odds with each other when it concerned snagging Ranma as a fiance, but now that he's been separated into twins, they realize any animosity between them would be meaningless since they both finally gotten what they wanted. They both later do this with Akane, especially after learning what she went through after committing suicide where she found that death wasn't the peace she was expecting.
• Releasing from the Promise: After being revived from death, Akane accepts facts that neither Ranma Red or Ranma Blue will marry her. She officially renounces her engagement to either of them. After the group arrives in China, Soun Tendo also renounces the engagement as he finally saw the light and realized how important his family is to him than his promise with Genma.
• Revenge Before Reason: Ryoga and Mousse attack the Ranma twins after acquiring the Mark of a God, despite the fact they lost their own individual honor duels with them. The two antagonists feel they don't have to honor the terms of their previous duels with Ranma Red and Ranma Blue since they now have the power to defy that.
• Roaring Rampage of Revenge: After arriving at the Amazon Village, Ranma Red and Ranma Blue get suddenly attacked by a vengeful Aloe, mother of Mousse, who blames them for the death of her son. Cologne intervenes, stating that it wasn't their fault Mousse committed suicide and that they acted purely in self-defense.
• Secret Test of Character: At the beginning of the story after Ranma was sent crashing near the Neko Haten, Shampoo offers to feed him, who made her swear she won't tamper with it in any way. After preparing a bowl of ramen, she drugs it with a very potent potion that would completely enslave Ranma to her will. As she thought about the possibilities, she also recalled how angry Ranma had been when he had found out about similar attempts in the past that pushed him further away, and this latest one could risk having Ranma hate Shampoo forever. Then she realized if she wanted someone blindly obedient, she would've accepted Mousse a long time ago, making Shampoo realize why she became interested in Ranma in the first place. After some thought, Shampoo dumps the drugged food and prepares another. Unknown to Shampoo, Ranma had been watching the whole time.
• The Starscream: Barada the vampire king is the first trial the Ranma Twins have to face. He planned on absorbing their essences in order to gain the power to overthrow Sharoka. He fails and due to a curse placed on him by Ranma Red (which Sharoka purposely activates), he's turned into a slug and stomped flat by Sharoka.
• Taking a Third Option: In their final battle against Arcados and Zuruka, the two demons fuse into Arcaruka, knowing that it would be a lose/lose situation for the Ranma twins. If the Ranma twins die, then Earth will be invaded by the Dark World unimpeded and Akane's soul destroyed. If the Ranma twins win, the resulting energy backlash from Arcaruka's death will hasten the destruction of the barrier separating Earth from the Dark World, so Earth will be overrun anyway, not to mention the resulting explosion will kill both Ranmas and Akane's soul. Ranma Red and Ranma Blue defeat Arcaruka, but then quickly teleport the demon to a place far away where they couldn't cause too much damage before going critical. They chose to port him to the Realm of Infinity where the space is vast, thus the impending explosion was practically smothered in the vast space.
• Theme Song Power Up: During the final battle against Sharoka, Skuld plays "You Got the Touch".
• Time to Unlock More True Potential: In the beginning after Ranma got separated into twins, both Ranmas were only at half strength. They were able to get their strength back up to par and beyond after getting trained by Taron and Soren for a few days. Once they acquire their weapons, the Lightstar Blade and Storm Striker, their abilities are multiplied further as they are imbued with the abilities and memories of the past Chosen Champions. This was necessary to get them on par with the enemies they will face.
• Took a Level in Badass: Ranma after separating into twins and getting training from Soren and Taron. The two are trained in not just martial arts techniques, but also in magic and elementalism. The Twin Ranmas are trained to a point where they are able to match up against demons that would've killed any of their rivals hundreds of times over.
• Trauma Conga Line: After the Saotome-Tendo engagement was dissolved, Akane sinks into a depression now that Ranma Red and Ranma Blue were going to marry Shampoo and Ukyo. Nabiki tells her to just get on with her life, but Akane found it too unbearable to go on and jumps to her death at a construction site. However, death wasn't as peaceful as she had thought as her soul was captured and tortured by the demons Arcodos and Zuruka. Akane was rescued by the Ranma twins, but continued to suffer psychological trauma due to the demons still having part of her soul captive. The pain finally ended after the Ranma twins once again go back to save the rest of her soul and killing Arcados and Zuruka for good.
• Two Siblings In One: Ranma was originally supposed to be born as a set of twin boys, but interference by the Dark World made sure to destroy one of them to prevent the chosen twins of the current millennium from being born. Soren and Taron quickly salvaged the situation by transferring the soul of the lost body into the remaining one.
• Ungrateful Bastard: Ryoga and Mousse got turned into monsters and committed suicide when Shampoo and Akane prevented them from attacking Ranma Red and Ranma Blue while they were helpless. Afterwards, the Ranma twins were able to help bring them back to life thanks to Washu. Despite this, Ryoga and Mousse attempted to attack the Ranma twins as they still blamed their misfortunes on them. Ranma Red and Ranma Blue easily stop the attacks and tell their rivals that as of now, they've washed their hands clean of them and should be grateful they even bothered to bring them back.
• Unwitting Pawn: Ryoga and Mousse get tricked by a demon posing as the old man who gave Ryoga the mark of a God earlier in the series. He gives it to the both of them at Ryoga's request in a bid to defeat the Ranma Twins. When the twins managed to just defeated the powered up conspirators, the marks caused them to mutate into monstrous versions of their cursed forms who then attack the Ranmas with murderous intent.
• Victorious Childhood Friend: Ukyo gets engaged to Ranma Blue then later marries.
• Wham Line:
  • Soren and Taron tell Ranma that he has a brother, and that he houses the souls of twins that have practically merged together.
  • After Akane was brought back from death and her soul restored by the Ranma twins, she asked Ranma Red and Ranma Blue to incapacitate the male student mob who fight her for dates to say something to them. Once they make the boys stop, Akane shouts out to them if they want to date her, then JUST ASK HER. This line took the whole school by surprise.
• What the Hell, Hero?: After rescuing Akane from death and capture by two demons, she asks the Ranma Twins why they never told her the truth about Ryoga and P-Chan being the same being. She informed them that she knew because the demons who captured her soul told her outright and even pointed out the obvious signs. The Ranma Twins then explained about how Ryoga got his curse and the honor promise they accidentally made to him. Akane blames herself for being so stupid to not notice It. She would later call Soun out for knowing and not telling her as well, not accepting his lame excuse for it.
• "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: Taking place ten years after Sharoka's defeat, Ranma Red and Ranma Blue are still happily married to Shampoo and Ukyou respectively. Ranma Red and Shampoo have four kids while Ranma Blue and Ukyou have three kids, giving Nodoka the grandchildren she's always wanted. Ranma Red had dealt with the Musk Dynasty and practically forced them into an alliance with the Joketsuzoku, then later curb-stomped Saffron. Ranma Blue worked as a goodwill ambassador helping to restore the environment with his powers. Ukyo has opened up a chain of okonomiyaki restaurants and plans to expand to America next. Dr. Tofu finally proposed to Kasumi after finally being cured of his nervous habits (due to having an imp exorcised from him). Nabiki hit it big in the business world and has already started making her seventh billion yen. Soun Tendo opened up a dojo in Juuban where he finally took his job as a martial arts instructor seriously. Akane took over the Tendo Dojo after receiving training from Cologne and married Shinnosuke. Tatewaki Kuno is locked in an insane asylum after getting charged with harassment by Akane. Kodachi moved on with her life after being told off by the Ranma Twins, becoming a model for gymnastics wear. Mousse moved to America where he latter got married. Ryoga is lost somewhere. Happosai was left a traumatized wreck and hasn't been seen since. Genma was finally arrested and likely spending the rest of his life in jail.
• You Can't Go Home Again:
  • After Soun recklessly threatened to disown his daughters if they refuse to marry the Ranma twins, they take him at his word and leave the Tendo Dojo, living with Nodoka instead.
  • Same with Genma as Soun angrily chased him out of his home after the previous debacle, blaming him for everything. Genma could also never return back to the Saotome household after everything he's done and that Nodoka would likely force him to commit seppuku on the spot.
  • After Mousse is revived, he is brought before the Amazon Council for violating the terms of the honor duel he lost to Ranma Red in and instead tried to murder him in a bid to win Shampoo for himself. His blatant disregard of the rules of the honor duel resulted in his banishment from the Joketsuzoku.
• You No Take Candle: Shampoo speaks in broken Japanese as does the Jusenkyo Guide. Near the end of the story, Ranma Red uses a spell of comprehension to vastly improve Shampoo's speech.

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