Fan Fic: Retsupuraes Journey To Find Themselves
"So, correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I can get from what he's written, this is about two gay guys traveling across the country killing dudes trying to kill them because it's cloudy outside and they're both scared of the dark. Apparently they're based off two dumbfucks on le grande internet, making fun of other dumbfucks on the internet. Riveting. Did I mention the gay, by the way? Also, don't actually correct me; I seriously don't give a shit."Retsupurae's journey to find themselves
— The fanfic's replacement author basically summing up the plot.
is a fan fiction story written by Gactivefy. The plot is very inconsistent, but it can basically be summed up like this: slowbeef
and Diabetus of Retsupurae
"fame" become bored with making fun of people on the internet. Diabetus suggests that they make fun of people in person instead, and they go on a journey to do so. However, once they arrive at the home of the people they are going to make fun of, it turns out to be a trap set up by a mysterious man who wants to take over Retsupurae. slowbeef and Diabetus then go on a journey to find their destiny (or "destany"), but what exactly their destiny is is never revealed. About halfway through the last chapter, a different person takes over writing the fic, though it's hardly noticeable aside from a few instances of Lampshade Hanging
It can be read here
This story contains examples of the following tropes:
- all lowercase letters: The title of the fanfic, except for the first word.
- Armored Closet Gay: Proteus refers to making videos as "gay in more ways than one," and states that he'd rather be at home having sex with his girlfriend. According to the author, he is "trying to hide his homosex."
- Author Filibuster: Plenty from both authors. The first author stops the plot to discuss such things as why people call driveways "driveways" even though people park on them and animes that he dislikes. The replacement author mostly just insults the previous author.
- Big Bad: The Mysterious Man
- Death by Cameo: Billy MC appears briefly in Chapter 2, only to get killed after slowbeef accidentally runs him over with his car.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Diabetus responds to slowbeef asking him if he's sure he's okay by punching him in the face.
- slowbeef later returns the favor by kicking Diabetus for asking where they are going, which causes Diabetus' kidney to rupture and somehow sends him back in time to 1922.
- Grandfather Paradox: Averted. After slowbeef somehow sends Diabetus back in time, Betus considers becoming slowbeef's father, but ultimately decides against it because he feels that having a family would interfere with making videos.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Chip Cheezum, though only in chapter 1.
- A person called "thornbrain" tries to kill slowbeef and Diabetus in order to take their position of best retsupuraers in the world.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Either sirronlionheart or Electrical Beast perform one of these to save slowbeef and Diabetus in Chapter 2.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: slowbeef and Diabetus.
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Much like Seinfeld, each chapter (besides chapter 5) is written in all caps and starts with the word "the."
- Informed Location: slowbeef is stated to be from New York (in reality, he's from New Jersey), while Diabetus is stated to live in Kansas (in reality, he lives in Alabama). Also, slowbeef and Diabetus apparently live together in this fic.
- MacGuffin: slowbeef and Diabetus' "destany." While destiny is more of a concept, apparently a destany is a tangible object, as the story ends when the two protagonists find theirs behind a door they unlock.
- Minor Injury Overreaction: sirronlionheart gets killed after accidentally pricking his chest with a thumbtack.
- Retirony: With his dying breath, BillyMC laments that he was only five dollars away from buying a Nintendo 64.
- Rouge Angles of Satin
- Mind Screw: Chapter 5, in an interesting disconnect, is actually the best written chapter of the story until ProtonJon comes in near the end to "fix" everything.
- Said Bookism: This, combined with Rouge Angles of Satin leads to such gems as:
- "uh they always do that moron. the voice retarted.
- "WWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTT" the voice bumboozlled.
- "TELEPORE!" the man britished.
- Sudden Name Change: In Chapter 2, sirronlionheart pulls a Heroic Sacrifice to save slowbeef and Diabetus. However, in Chapter 3, it is mentioned that Electrical Beast is the one who saved them.
- There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Nonhuman example. After Diabetus rings Rijno and Darknessthecurse's doorbell in chapter 2, slowbeef pulls out a gun, shoots the door in half, karate chops the halves into quarters, and then lights the quarters on fire with a lighter.
- Troll Fic: Either this, or the author's first language is one other than English.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: The mysterious man is never defeated. The story just ends with slowbeef and Diabetus finding their destany.
- Ye Olde Butchered English: The people in the first Let's Play video basically add "-eth" after every word.