Author Avatar: David Wong is the protagonist of a book by David Wong.
Byronic Hero: Dave has had quite a troubled past and mentions in the epilogue that he may be a sociopath, but still fights to save the world and cares about his friends.
Refusal of the Call: Dave has no desire to be the Chosen One, and actively fights against attempts to nominate him as such. When Molly starts barking and, after acknowledging that she wants them to follow her, Dave promptly climbs in his car and drives the other way. His first dose of Soy Sauce has to literally force itself down his throat.
Self-Deprecation: Lots. Dave is fully aware of what a loser he is and doesn't hesitate to make fun of himself for it.
"I drove home to change, proving that even on the soy sauce, part of me was still a dumbass"
Tomato in the Mirror: Revealed to be one of the shadow men's clones near the end of the first book. Later books also reveal that David can transform into a horrifying Half Bat half Mantis cryptid know as the BATMANTIS???
Hidden Depths: Beneath his crude exterior John is incredibly kind and completely without prejudice.
Jumped at the Call: Much more eager than Dave to get involved in weird stuff. Though, in the epilogue, even he thinks the world on the other side of the gate on the basketball court is too lame to save. Don't worry, some kids do it for them.
Pungeon Master: He tosses out a bunch of chair puns while killing sauce monsters with a folding chair.
Shipper on Deck: Rather blatantly tries to set up Dave with Amy. It works.
The Stoner: His stoner tendencies end up kicking off the plot of the book when he decides to take a hit of the soy sauce.
Genius Ditz: Is an omniscient super computer that controls multiple dimensions, but acts like a schoolyard bully.
Sadist: He seems to derive joy from torturing humans.
Unseen Evil: He's in the background for the majority of the novel, only appearing in person during the climax. Even then it's possible that he exists outside all universes and all John and Dave really saw was one of his local avatars
Alternative Title(s):This Book Is Full Of Spiders Seriously Dude Dont Touch It, What The Hell Did I Just Read A Novel Of Cosmic Horror, If This Book Exists Youre In The Wrong Universe