Awesome / The Last Leg

  • Adam's "The Reason You Suck" Speech in response to Joan Rivers making offensive and unfunny jokes about Adele's weight. See it here.
    Adam: How dare you make fun of one of the best female role models on the planet for the way she looks. Adele is one of the very few women in pop music that I want my daughter to look up to – and you’re making jokes about the way she looks when you’re so insecure about your own face, you’ve spent more money on it than the producers of Life of Pi spent on that tiger!
  • Adam's rant against the Westboro Baptist Church following their threat to picket Robin Williams' funeral.
    Adam: I don't think this okay, for a number of reasons. Firstly, regardless of your religious beliefs, you don't disrupt a funeral. A person died, his family are mourning, it's not about you, dickhead. But secondly, if you really believe in standing up to those threatening the Christian way of life, Westboro Baptist Church, how about putting your money where your mouth is, taking a direct flight to Iraq and picketing the people threatening to behead Christians if they don't convert? Surely that's more of a threat to Christianity than the guy who said "You think God ever gets stoned? Look at a platypus, I think he might." (laughter and applause) And I know there are members of the Westboro Baptist Church who'd say, "Well, the Iraqi Christians aren't real Christians because they're not extreme enough." They're willing to have their heads chopped off rather than convert! That's pretty frickin' extreme!! I will personally pay for every member of the Westboro Baptist Church to fly to Iraq right now. I'll even fly you first class and pay the carbon offset. Because I reckon either one of two things will happen. Either you'll die while defending your beliefs and you'll be carried away to heaven in a gold chariot and sit at the right hand of God for all eternity, or if I'm right, and I'm willing to bet a dozen first class flights that I am, God will be standing alongside a five-foot-eight hairy American comedian dressed as a middle-aged Scottish nanny saying, "Hellooo!". And just when you think there's a chance he might let you in, God will look back and say, "Hey, not only do I love fags, but I fuckin' hate dicks!"
    • Made even more awesome the following week when he reneged on the promise, deciding that he didn't want to fight hate with hate or give the WBC any more publicity, and donated the money he'd raised to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital, in Robin Williams' name.