Awesome: Major Payne

Payne may be a bit on the psychotic side, but he is also walking, talking awesome.

  • Firstly, in the opening credits he storms an enemy compound singlehandedly, with no helmet, and gets everyone to surrender ASAP, in a Badass Establishing Character Moment.
  • There's Payne's devastating dressing-down of his cadets, which quickly evolves into one great big "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
  • Tiger fears there's a boogeyman in his closet? No problem. Payne casually strolls up and fires five bullets into the closet door.
    Tiger: MAJOR PAYNE JUST TERMINATED THE BAD MAN WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!
  • Not only is he not affected by the Laxative Prank in the expected way, Payne turns the joke back at the pranksters. Literally.
  • There's the biker hired by Alex to intimidate Payne, played by Bam Bam Bigelow who's nearly 400 pounds. The big guy gets his shit ruined in a manner of seconds and Payne throws in a Your Mom joke for good measure.
    Payne: Fe fi fo fum... What beanstalk you fall from?
  • How does Payne get his revenge for the contract hit? By challenging the boys to retrieve a trophy from a rival school, and promptly contacting the school ahead of time to tip them off, leaving the boys to get some serious ass-kickings.
  • He tells Tiger a (slightly catastrophic) version of The Little Engine That Could, and then goes out dancing with Emily.
    • The Robot he busts out during this scene deserves its own entry.
  • After all that conflict with the boys, Payne sticks up for Alex when Alex's drunk, emotionally abusive dad tries to cause trouble. For once, he does this without any violence or screaming whatsoever. By then, he and the boys have finally managed to achieve a level of respect for each other.
    Payne: (after effortlessly dodging the stepfather's drunken, wild punches) Now I'ma ask you nicely. Please return to your vehicle.
    • Also deserving a mention is the look of appreciation and gratitude written across Alex's face for what Payne did. Payne then says to Alex, in a surprisingly subdued and almost paternal voice, "Go on back to your bunk, son."
  • Tiger leading the demonstration at the end complete with Michael Jackson homages.