I just finished reading Fruits Basket. I am now reading Academ's Fury and 1984 along with Modelland. I am getting severe Mood Whiplash.
There is no narrator at the beginning of this chapter. In honor of our dearly-departed narrator, I offer this song as a memorial.
May she/he/it rest in peace.
What? Did you run out of yellow things? How about lemon-yellow or urine-yellow?
Of course, Tookie immediately hands the SMIZE off to her mom. After we get some verbal abuse from her mother to her, and her father to her mother.
You know, I might sympathize with this . . . except Tookie knows nearly every language on the planet. That is not only incredibly "special", but it pretty much guarantees that she has her pick of jobs in the future. Well, assuming that this universe follows even basic logic, which might be a pretty big assumption to make.
A little flag pops out of the SMIZE and words begin to form on it. It greets the family by name, causing Tookie's father to assume it can see them. He panics and tries to tidy up. Tookie's mother begins reading the words on the flag.
* Sigh *
Son of Math Interlude
From the Prologue:
91% increase =/= 91% chance.
And it also makes it even dumber if anyone who gets a SMIZE has a 91% chance. You know why? Because it's pretty much a guarantee that any girl with a SMIZE will win, which makes the contest rigged.
And why an arbitrary number like 91% anyway? Are the girls judged on a 100 point scale?
Is there some numerological meaning? 7 x 13 = 91, therefore ninety-one is both lucky and unlucky and WHO CARES?
This is middle school math! How do you screw this up without anyone catching it?
Blatant Mistakes + 1.
Back to the Story
I'll admit, I found this mildly amusing . . . until I thought about how I live in a place that's falling apart. Then again, a mansion that's falling apart is still a mansion, which makes it worth much, much more than where I live was when it was new . . .
I think I'll settle for saying that the De La Crèmes and the SMIZE are all jerks, and leave it at that.
"Myriad of golden colors?" Just weird is that wording. (And can it be "myriad" if it's just different shades of the same color?)
Forgive my ignorance of fashion . . . but are there any colors that actually clash with gold? Then again, I think the SMIZE is silly-looking enough to clash with any wardrobe decision, so what do I know?
"Your face glimmer?" This is just begging for a Twilight/Modelland crossover fic.
Mon ami, random French does not make you sound intelligent. Aleatorio español, en el otro lado . . .
Stupid sexist rule . . . would it kill a book aimed at girls and young women to include some male eye candy?
So, is that what it will take to get Gremlins 3 made? Probably not worth it.
We then get an out-of-place Side Effects Include... list.
O_O
The fashion police are real? Excuse me. I need to go fortify my door. They won't take me alive!
I swear I did not make this part up.
Tookie angsts a bit that Myrracle is going to walk on The Day of Discovery "that mysterious, elusive, galvanizing event." What happens to the chosen is mysterious, but the event isn't. It's a public event that happens every year on the same day.
I'm getting tired of the unnecessary, gratuitous, omnipresent adjectives.
The family starts making plans, and Tookie is startled to hear she'll be coming, too.
Of course, the De La Crèmes don't actually want her to come. They just want her to help Dudley with the clothes.
Sadly "Dookie" may actually be a step up from the name "Tookie." It all depends on your opinion on whether naming your child after feces or a butt is worse.
Weirdly enough, this seems to be a legitimate accident on Myrracle's part. Myrracle's "friend" Brian laughs at her.
"It's period, not periodical!" Tookie growled.
Myrracle smirked. How do you know? You haven't even gotten yours yet!"
Burn! Maybe? Not really . . . I will never understand why a monthly inconvenience is considered some sort of rite of passage. Naturally, Tookie is embarrassed by her lack of cramps and monthly bleeding.
Myrracle bolts out of the room only to return in a "flamenco-style fuchsia costume" saying that she's going to wear it to T-DOD.
"It's cha-cha, girl, not chow-chow." Brian stifled a snicker.
Did you know there's an actual speech disorder
that involves swapping one word for another? I doubt this is an accurate portrayal, but it's something to think about.
With what now?
Couture (noun): "The design and manufacture of fashionable clothes to a client's specific requirements."
Thanks to Modelland and the Kindle's built-in dictionary, I learned a new word today. Doubt I'll ever use it, though.
Creamy tells Tookie that the dress is hers now, before telling Tookie and Myrracle they'll be going to LaDorno. It's Tookie's job to pick up the dresses Myrracle tries on.
Everyone leaves the room and then realizes that she forgot to tell her mom about nearly being brained by a slate tile.
The redundancy of that redundant sentence fills me with rage and ire.
Blatant Mistakes
+1 for thinking a 91% increase is the same thing as a 91% chance.
Total = 11
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