LYNDSAY: Ooh, The Uncharted Isle, huh? That must mean we're the first ones to the island!
Or just that anyone who has been there before didn't bother to chart it...
LYNDSAY: Now this is what adventure is all about! Being famous explorers...discovering new lands...
BUDDY: But it's on the map. Why do they call it the Uncharted Isle if it's right there on our map?
A map the king sent us, no less.
LYNDSAY: Ummm... Great question, Buddy! I really admire your explorer's spirit!!!
We disembark. The port's posts are large bones.
LYNDSAY: Wow! This place is like stepping back in time!
BUDDY: Neat! I want to meet a dinosaur!
LYNDSAY: Buddy, everyone knows there aren't any more dinosaurs!
???????: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure of that, my dear...
The mystery speaker is another African-Kingdomian in a snazzy suit with somewhat... macabre accessories. We approach each other.
???????: For there exist many wonders in the world yet unseen by the eyes of man.
LYNDSAY: Who are you?!
???????: Oh, where are my manners? My name is Sir Vincent Skullfinder, renowned archeologist, at your service!
LYNDSAY: You're an archeologist?! That must mean you've been all over the world! You're an explorer just like me!
VINCENT: Indeed, my dear! And I'm exploring this island for a treasure most rare... A treasure that will be mine forever, just as soon as I have it within my grasp! But today is a lucky day! It seems I've found a fellow explorer to aid me in my search!
LYNDSAY: Yes! I've always wanted to be a real explorer! Of course we'll help!
BUDDY: Lyndsay...
VINCENT: Excellent! Buried beneath these sands and within the stout rock walls of this island are many ancient bones. It would aid my hunt significantly if you could bring me... shall we say 20 of these bones? Could you do that for me?
LYNDSAY: Sure! That's just the sort of thing we're great at!
VINCENT: That's a good girl! Just come find me when you're done. In the meantime I have other...things to attend to. If you'll excuse me...
BUDDY: Lyndsay, that man scares me. Can't we just leave?
LYNDSAY: Oh, quit being such a scaredy-cat! Let's hurry and find those bones for Sir Vincent!
Sir Vincent Skullfinder
Sir Vincent Skullfinder is the curator and president-for-life of the Skullfinder Museum, which boasts the world's most impressive collection of fossils, ivory and skeletons. Strangely enough, the most macabre of these artifacts have been donated by Skullfinder himself...
TASK: A Bag of Bones
Digging nets me Mana, Onyx, Topaz, Jade, Bones, Aliens, and a new Scroll!
SCROLL: Bone Finder Scroll
It requires 5 Anglerfish, 10 Sea Turtles, and 25 Bones. All I need is the Bones.
Okay, layout. The port is in the southeast of the island, with a garden containing Coconuts to the north, on the other side of some rocks. Hidden behind the tree is a chest containing Topaz, Mana, and Adventure Pith Helmets!
Along the beach to the west is a fishing spot. From it, I fish out Puffers, Stingrays, Sea Turtles, and The Helm of Brilliance. I think I can get Tiny Sharks here, but I don't need to.
North of the fishing area, west of the tree, and northwest of the port is an area where stuff can be built. We aren't doing that yet, though.
North of that area is a mining wall. From this stout rock wall I extract Mana, Silver, Kaiserium, Electrobits, and a Sleepy Sophie Figurine. I mine until I have enough for Motorin'. Now I can build an Electric Motor.
West of the wall is a shallow area with a chest containing Mana and the Prom Night Gonk Figurine.
The grass goes Coconut, Mana, Sea Turtle, some kind of gem.
I dig up a twentieth bone. Maybe I should talk to Vincent. After all, he's the one who asked for this...
VINCENT: Yes, that's right. Collect those bones, Kara!
Strange. Well, there's a present over Lyndsay's head; maybe...
LYNDSAY: Great, you got all the bones! Let's go find that Skullfinder guy.
I get 50 KP for the task.
I eventually get the fourth grass to give me the Ninja Gino Figurine. I then continue digging until I get enough Bones for the Bone Finder Scroll. Now I can build Egyptian Vases, Greek Vases, and Chinese Masks (the kind Yuki wears), and paint with Southwest Bricks Paint and Slate Brick Paint.
Finding Skullfinder should be easy. All I have to do is pull out my Map and it'll tell me where he i... HUH?! He's nowhere on the map! Is this a glitch? A bug? Nope. all I have to do is get close enough to the other build area up the stairs, and...
Kara comes back down the stars and shrugs.
LYNDSAY: He's not there either! Man, where could Sir Vincent be?
BUDDY: I told you! I told you he was shifty!
Shifted planes of existence, more like...
LYNDSAY: And I told you that was ridiculous! He is an explorer! Explorers help people! They're good!
Y'know, there's nothing intrinsically linking the profession of "explorer" with "helping people"...
BUDDY: Oh. Uh, okay...
There is now a guy in animal skins watching us from behind a tree. Not the kind of tree that you can shake stuff from, though.
BUDDY: But what about his voice? It was all... scary! Like a vampire!
LYNDSAY: Buddy! There are no more vampires than there are dinosaurs! Where do you get this stuff?
Maybe all the Sim Broker books in the royal bookshelves?
BUDDY: But that guy said there were lots of weird things all over the place!
The guy in animal skins gets closer...
LYNDSAY: What, now you're quoting him?! I thought you didn't trust him! You're impossible!
You seem to trust him well enough, based on nothing more than him being an explorer. Even though you don't believe his claim.
BUDDY: What? No! That's not what...
The guy interrupts us by jumping over a rock and attacking Buddy!
BUDDY: ACK!
LYNDSAY: Whoa! What is this?! Kara, you gotta do something!
So Kara jumps into the ball and stops the fight.
????: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
LYNDSAY: Who are you? Why did you beat up on poor Buddy? He's fragile!
BUDDY: Yeah! Like an egg!
????: Egg?! Ohhhhh, Gonk hungry!!
BUDDY: Awww... He's just hungry, poor guy! Hiya, pal! I'm not food, I'm Buddy! What's your name?
Um, he told us, albeit in a You No Take Candle fashion.
GONK: Gonk's Gonk! Gonk sorry. Gonk just so hungry! Gonk can't catch any food! Even crabs too fast for Gonk!
BUDDY: Aw, poor fella! We gotta help him, Kara!
LYNDSAY: But what about Sir Vincent? He needs these bones for his research!
Oh, so you're all "explorers help people" when you're defending Vincent, but when it actually comes to helping someone not starve, you want to put it on the back burner in favor of the research of someone we can't even find at the moment?
BUDDY: This is more important! Gonk's starving! We should help Gonk first. What do you think, pal?
Kara nods. We doin' dis.
GONK: Yay! Gonk find this while Gonk look for food. Gonk will trade paper for food!
Surprised he didn't try to eat it, but I'm thankful, because we just got a new Scroll!
SCROLL: Gonk Scroll
It requires 15 Coconuts, 10 Kaiserium, 5 Puffers, and 10 Happy. I only lack in the Kaiserium department, so that's what I mine for.
Now I can build Stone Tables and Stone Chairs, and paint with Stone Paints.
Gonk
Gonk is an eternally-voracious caveman who had the bad luck to settle on an island almost entirely lacking in food supplies. His hobbies include sitting in mud pools, poking rocks with sticks, and staring off into space. His best friends are Bobaboo and Girl.
BUDDY: Let's set this guy up with a nice little kitchen and table! It sure beats eating in the dirt!
All right. This area needs 22 Nature, 22 Domestic, 10 Food, and 5 Fun.
I start with a Picnic Blanket and Pizza Oven. Then a Refrigerator, Stove, and Television, all of which I connect to the convenient Solar Panel. A Stone Table, two Stone Chairs, a Radio, two Tree Branch Beds, a Dresser, a Tree Branch Sofa, a Tree Branch Lounger, a Squarestump End Table, a Tree Branch Coffee Table, an Arbor, assorted plants, some paint, and I'm done!
BUDDY: Wow, that looks nice!
One transition later, Gonk burps and is happy.
LYNDSAY: Okay. Gonk has a lovely kitchen. Now can we please get back to helping Sir Vincent?
Sure, if he's around.
VINCENT: Oh, that won't be necessary anymore, my dear!
Huh? Hey, there's a woman in that cage! And some kind of creature...
??????: Gooooonk! Heeelp!
We run up.
GONK: Bobaboo! Girl! Why you in cage?
BUDDY: That girl's name is Bobaboo? That's weird!
GONK: No! Dino is Bobaboo! She's Girl!
GIRL??: Gah! For the last time Gonk, my name is Sylvia! Look, you guys have got to get us out of here!
LYNDSAY: Oh no! Vincent! We've got to help them!
VINCENT: Oh, I'm afraid we won't be doing that, my dear... For it was I who trapped them in the first place!
LYNDSAY: What?!
VINCENT: Yes, while you so kindly kept that cave man distracted I was able to procure the true treasures of this isle! Well, I really only wanted to catch the dinosaur. The girl must have wandered into my trap later.
Well, fine, so just let the girl out and you can keep Boba Fett there.
SYLVIA: I was trying to let Bobaboo out, you cretin! Man, I can't believe I quit graduate school for this...
VINCENT: Think of it, Lyndsay! A real, living dinosaur! When I bring him back to my museum, it will be the find of a century! I... no, WE will be hailed as the greatest explorers who have ever lived! Won't you aid me, my dear?
LYNDSAY: A real explorer helps people, Skullfinder. What you're doing is wrong.
VINCENT: Hmph, most unwise! More glory for me, then! You lot just run along now. You'll never set Sylvia and Bobaboo free while I'm on guard!
Just Sylvia, then?
I got 50 KP for my earlier efforts.
So I can just pass him, right?
VINCENT: Not on my watch!
I talk to Lyndsay, instead.
LYNDSAY: We'll need to distract Skullfinder so we can get by him...
TASK: A Cunning Plan
I need to Socialize with Skullfinder until I can Launch a Distraction. He's currently Pleased. I can Chat or Tell Joke. Telling a joke makes him Skeptical. Praise, Rebuke, or Morbid Chat. I try Morbid Chat. He's Interested. I can Discuss Roland's Quest, Flatter, or Discuss Dinosaur Rights. I Flatter, making him Flattered. I can Throw Bats or do a Gonk Impression. Bats it is! He's back to Interested, so I follow the trail back to where I can do a Gonk Impression. Now he's Ecstatic, so I can finally Launch a Distraction. I get some Happy.
VINCENT: You don't say! Something amazing? Over there? Well I can't resist that!
I talk to Lyndsay.
LYNDSAY: Nicely done, Kara!
I gain another 50 KP, and talk to her again.
LYNDSAY: Okay! Now all we have to do is open this gate and save Sylvia and Bobaboo! You should be a pro at gates like this by now, Kara!
Indeed.
TASK: Jurassic Gate
Medium Axle from the side of the windmill nearest the wall, Large Gear to that, another Large Gear on top, a Long Belt to that, a Short Belt between the other end of that and the first switch, another Short Belt from the other end of that, a Medium Belt between the other end of that and the second switch, a Large Gear on the other end of that, a Small Gear below that, another between it and the switch, a Gear Box on the other side of the Gear's axle, a path of five Small Gears to the next one, and paths of gears to the other two switches.
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the island...
VINCENT: You know, on closer inspection, this wall isn't anywhere near as fascinating as Kara made it out to be. Wait, what's going on over there?!
He runs a bit closer.
VINCENT: Oh no! I demand you bring that dinosaur to me immediately! (Beat) Uh-oh.
He is knocked over by Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo — I mean, Bobaboo.
VINCENT: Oof!
GONK: Ha! Stupid bad man! Bobaboo free now!
SYLVIA: Uh, and what am I, Gonk? Nothing?
GONK: No! You Gonk's Super-Awesome-Special Girl! Gonk very glad Girl is safe. Gonk missed Girl lots.
SYLVIA: Aww! Gonk...
GONK: Now let's go hit crabs with stick! Gonk Hungry! Rarr!
He runs off.
SYLVIA: Gonk! Wait for me!
She follows. We approach.
VINCENT: Hmph. Come to gloat have we?
LYNDSAY: You still don't get it, do you. Skullfinder? Being an explorer isn't about winning or losing. It's about the people you help along the way!
VINCENT: Silly girl. Fortune favors those who help themselves! You win for now, but perhaps our paths will cross again. After all, there's always more treasure...
And he never leaves the island. However, he does run off.
LYNDSAY: I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Buddy.
BUDDY: That's okay, Lyndsay! I don't listen to me either!
Kara giggles.
LYNDSAY: Ready to continue our adventure, Kara?
Kara nods.
I will, of course, be taking the advice of Endark Culi and finishing out the remaining islands before returning to islands we've been to. Of the former, now there are two to choose from:
- Cutopia
- The Royal Academy
So, until next time...
