Episode 64
General: Porn games! “But Beary,” you hypothetically say, “What makes that different from most of the episodes of this show?” The answer is huge pixel mosiacs to censor a lot of stuff that went mostly unchecked in other episodes. Perhaps they were making fun of themselves? The clips are certainly funnier with giant pixels covering up everything.
Timecode: 6:12: The intro
to The Onee Chanbara 2 (PS 2, 2005), the sequel to The Onee Chanbara (PS 2, 2004), another budget action game from D3. What sets The Onee Chanabara apart from other action games is its decisive usage of an all female, monster-slaying cast. They even included the main character from their Giant Beauty (PS 2) game as a playable character. The intro has a nice theme song to contrast with the budget quality and animation of the CG graphics.
According to the Wikipeds, the series' title is often misspelled. To whit, on the show, it was described as "The Onechapara".
7:44: A funny cutscene from Amped 3 (Xbox360, 2005), where a slightly stoned-sounding snowboarder takes us through a tome of ancient knowledge. Okay, it just looks like a crusty old book with some simple pen sketches, but his narration is pretty funny:
- ”It's all in here: the magic, the mystery, some recipes. We are going where the snow is deep and the powder is fresh. But first, we must pass through the gate of self-awarity, which is guarded by... the horrible demonic demon!” [unseen characters chant “Demon!” in a high pitch]
Later, he flips through the book in order to find a scrap of a sacred text:
- ”This remnant of the ancient Mongolian scroll is the only clue to this mystisical-style maneuver. It must be done exactly so, or risk utter obliviousness!”:"My work here is almost done. All that remains is the ultimate test of those who would be illuminated...”[They show an animation of a stick figure guy saying, “WHOO!” as he falls onto a pillow at the bottom of the flaming Valley of Kildara, cradle of the Death drop of DEATH!!!]”One can not hold back! You gotta give me a hundred and ten, maybe a hundred and fifteen percent! I mean seriously sick hangtime, to escape the icy sting of the spikes of mediocrenesses, and touch the face of the Snow Gods!”
He touches the face of a doodle of the Snow God, who giggles.
9:43: Clips from Melty Blood: Act Cadenza (PS 2), a 2D fighting game from Type Moon, the creators of the Fate franchise of Visual Novels and other media. Characters include:
- Sion Eltnam Atlas, a woman in a fetching hat who uses a whip;
- Red Arcueid, a blond woman whose bland costume bely her creepy eyes with yellow irises and red sclarae;
- Hisui, a maid;
- Yumiduka Satsuki, an Apologetic Attacker high schooler;
- Neko-Arc, a... tiny cat version of Arcueid? A Joke Character, I'd guess. She can make clones of herself, and attack with cat paws;
- Kohaku, a girl in an apron that wields a broom into battle. A clean sweep!
10:55: A clip from a PS 2 game based on the very long, very popular Detective Conan anime series. Remember when Cartoon Network briefly had the series on for a while? I think they stopped because of the enormous number of episodes that the series had with no ending in sight at the time.
12:21: Clips from a cel-shaded game based on Blood Plus (2005). Now, this is an anime that actually did complete its run on Adult Swim, and it was an epic, daring, and sometimes horrifying series. The game looks to be a third-person action game where you control Saya, a Japanese high schooler with a dark and secret past, who is also the only one who can effectively kill vampires called Chiropterans. It presumably features an original storyline from the show, and characters from the series alongside new ones created for the game.
18:03: I've been waiting for this: the ending song of God Hand. It is hilarious and awesome, and sung by the same person who voiced the main character, Gene. Let You Tube convey what words can not.
E64 was the last episode of 2006. From there on, the quality of the episodes waned.
Trivia Time: Alas, Gene was considered for Marvel Vs Capcom 3, but lost out to Amaterasu from Okami. Well, at least Ammy is a pretty good character in MvC3.
