(The Man Called True – he of the cowboy hat – is playing cards at a low table with the Emperor. Golbez is absent, but a third figure has joined them, a man with long black hair, wearing a white shirt, blue jacket and khaki pants.)
MCT: Got any threes?
Emperor: Go fish.
MCT: I swear you cheat… Anyway, it’s time for another chapter. Golbez had other business to attend to, so we’ve brought in a replacement. From Dissidia Duodecim via Final Fantasy VIII, it’s Laguna Loire.
Laguna: Let’s do this thing!
Emperor: Your enthusiasm annoys me… Conjuring the story.
>Hi. Sorry it took me so long to update, but this evil teenager had things do.<
Emperor: I find it continually disturbing that a man of his years insists on calling himself a teenager.
Laguna: You’re only as old as you feel!
MCT: Then I’m in my late fifties…
>I'd like to remind everyone that this whole fanfic takes place before "Operation: G.R.A.D.U.A.T.E.S.<
MCT: Which is just a fancy way of saying, “I’m ignoring all character development over the course of the series”.
>Anyway, onto the next chapter...<
Emperor: Must we?
>NOW LOADING
Chapter Sixteen
Twin Nights<
Laguna: (Squiggy) This one’s called “Twin Nights”… it’s about two nights.
>Mr. Green dialed a number on his cell phone and spoke in his sinister voice.<
MCT: Who knew he was into obscene phone calls?
>"Mr. Green to Delightful Children," he said. "I have a plan in the works. You'll have your captive by noon tomorrow."
"We'll be waiting for you then, Green," said their voices. "Do not fail us."<
Emperor: They hung up, but not before he heard them say something about “Damn Captain Harlock wanna-be…”
>They hung up.
He turned to the Kids Next Door and the Powerpuff Girls.<
MCT: (Mr. Green) Okay, they wanted three pastramis on rye…
>"Are you sure about this?" he said, looking worried. "Those kids are creepy! And that monkey is creepier! And that teenager in the armor – she looks darn right deadly!"<
Laguna: Darn tootin’!
>"We've fought the Delightfuls and Cree enough times to know that," said Numbah One.
"And we've fought Mojo enough to know that as well," said Blossom.
"And don't worry," continued Numbah One. "Once you take Numbah Five there, we'll be as close to the mansion as we are able, monitoring the both of you. If it turns too hairy, we'll bust in and get you both out."<
Emperor: Thereby compromising the mission by giving the Delightful Children a chance to spot the monitoring. How do they ever win?
>"Now we might as well get some sleep. Numbah Three, show Green to the guest room."
"This way!" said Numbah Three, taking Green's hand. "You know, I had a teacher like you once... he wasn't green and scaly, but he was just as nice..."<
MCT: I thought teachers were largely evil in their universe?
>She opened the door to the rarely-used guest-room that the team kept in the off-chance that they ever had to host an adult or teenager (which was a very rare occurrence, but they were always prepared). The room was under heavy surveillance, but they weren't going to tell him that.<
Laguna: They figured they could sell the tapes on the Internet.
>"It isn't the Ritz," she said, "but it will do. Well, maybe you'd do better at the Ritz."<
Emperor: He’d probably do better at a Motel Six.
>Meanwhile, Numbah Five had found another guest room for the Girls. It was strange for them sleeping away from home (getting the Professor's permission had been relatively easy), but they soon fell asleep.
Soon the whole Treehouse was asleep, other than the ever-present security system. It had taken Numbah Five the longest to get to sleep. She was one of the bravest members of the organization, but an assignment like this promised to be more dangerous than most...<
MCT: So they slept the sleep of the damned.
(SCENE CHANGE to morning)
>At ten AM the next morning, the team and the Girls were getting ready.<
Laguna: There was much arguing about who took whose mascara.
>"Okay, Numbah Five," said Numbah One, "they're almost certain to separate the two of you, so..."<
Emperor: (Numbah One) If worse comes to worse, take this joint and smoke until you can’t feel your feet.
>He placed a small device in her ear, a one similar one that they had bugged Mr. Green with.
"That will allow us to keep track of you, monitor your life signs, and lead us to you in case you get into deep trouble."
"Don't worry," said Numbah Five.<
MCT: (Numbah Five) I’ve got a cyanide pill in my panties just in case.
>"Anything else we should do?" said Green.
"Yeah," said Numbah Five.
She turned to Numbah Four.
"Numbah Four," she said. "Punch me in the eye!"<
Laguna: Y’know, if she put that shot up for bid, she’d make a fortune!
>"WHAT?" he said. "Numbah Five, I can't just..."
"Do it!" said Numbah Five. "Give me a black eye! You want them to think that Numbah Five surrendered quietly?"<
All: (Tyler Durden) I WANT YOU TO HIT ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN!
>Numbah Four paused.
"Okay," he sighed. "But only if you promise to punch me back after this is over!"
"Fine!" said Numbah Five. "Now sock me one!"<
Emperor: (Numbah Four) But if I start hitting you I may never stop!
>Numbah Four hesitantly raised his fist.
"Whatsa matter, too chicken?" she said.
POW!<
MCT: Three hours later, they finally pried Numbah Four off of her.
>Numbah Five fell over.
Numbah Five felt her eye. It was already getting puffy.
"Good," she said. "Now tie my arms and legs."<
Laguna: (Numbah Five) Then call me your bon-bon girl.
>Numbah Two started to tie her arms behind her back.
"We'll be following in the S.T.A.N.K. a half hour after you leave," said Numbah One, "and we'll be listening the whole time. But we'll have to stay out of sight of their radar."<
Emperor: I believe this is a symptom of some psychological dependency…
MCT: The best stealth vehicle in the world: a tank!
>Numbah Two finished tying Five's legs.
"Great," she said. "Nice and tight. Now take me there like a good villain," she said to Green.<
Laguna: (Numbah Five) Then pull my hair!
>Green hesitated. He really hated seeing a child bruised and trussed up.
He gently lifted up Numbah Five and carried her out of the Treehouse, towards his car.<
MCT: I’d laugh if it was a Gremlin.
(SCENE CHANGE to the Delightful Children’s mansion)
>Green drove into the front driveway of Delightful Manor.
"They can see us now," whispered Numbah Five. "Time to drop the 'nice' act."<
Emperor: And so he opened the passenger door and threw her out at forty miles an hour.
(The Delightful Children congratulate Mr. Green for his success and let him in)
>Numbah Five started to struggle. "Leggo of me you slimy creep!" she yelled.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
"Trying to make it look convincing," she whispered. "And you'd better do the same!"<
Laguna: Well, so much for their cover.
>Mr. Green got a brainstorm. He clasped his claw over Five's mouth and dragged her towards the main door.
"Shut up!" he demanded.
"Sorry about this," he whispered.<
MCT: Put the said book away, he asked.
>The doors opened, and a row of lights led the way towards another door.
Green followed them, carrying his struggling "captive", through one door and then another and then another. This mansion was like a maze. Eventually he came to a dark room that looked like a planning room.<
Emperor: It was actually the bathroom.
Laguna: (Mr. Green) Damn it. You just know when I need it I won’t find it.
>The Delightful Children, Mojo, and Cree were sitting around a table. The room was decorated by exotic antiques, including suits of armor, mummy cases, and tiki masks.<
Emperor: Exotic antiques are underrated as interior decorators.
>Green threw Five to the floor, as dramatically (but as gently) as he could. "There," he said. "One Kid Next Door, gift wrapped."
"Welcome to our humble abode, Numbah Five," said the Delightful Children. "We hope you like it, because you're never leaving!"
"You brats and your trained beasts wouldn't be so smug if I wasn't tied up!" shouted Five.
"But the fact is, you are," they said.<
MCT: Never argue with logic.
>"Indeed," said Mojo. "Perhaps we would be worried if, as you said, you had both your arms and legs free, but the fact is, you don't. Therefore, with all of your limbs restrained and not able to move, we can freely act in your presence without fear of reprisal from you personally. In fact..."
"Mojo, shut up!" said Cree. <
Laguna: (Cree) Don’t make me take out the duct tape again!
>She turned to the Children. "What should I do with her?"
"Hmm," said the Children. "Let's keep an eye on her for now. Cree, throw your sister in the case!"
"The case?" said Five.<
All: (Solid Snake) Metal Gear?!?
>"My pleasure!" said Cree. "This way, Abby!"
She grabbed Numbah Five and dragged her towards one of the mummy cases and opened it.<
Laguna: Bubba Ho Tep cursed her out and slammed the door shut.
>"You wouldn't dare..." said Five.
"Oh, would I?" said Cree, opening it.
She stuffed Numbah Five inside and slammed the door closed. She took a set of keys off the wall and locked it shut.<
MCT: (Numbah Five, muffled) Okay, maybe you would.
>"Uh," said Mr. Green. "She might suffocate..."
"Good point, Mr. Green," said the Children. "Better punch some air holes in there, Cree!"
"My pleasure!" said Cree, drawing a long dagger from a sheath. She made four quick jabs, piercing through the case!<
Emperor: (Delightful Children) This is why we don’t let you have pets.
>Mr. Green had to swallow hard to keep from screaming.
Then Numbah One's voice came to his ear.
"Don't panic, Green," he said. "Numbah Five is unhurt. Cree had lousy aim.<
MCT: Given that they didn’t tell Cree to kill her, she must have had very good aim not to puncture her anatomy. Brian’s trying to make the villains look weak again and failing.
>And don't worry about her for now. Try to gain the Delightfuls' trust and see what you can learn."
Green didn't dare answer, but he regained his composure. Cree put the keys back on the hook and rejoined them at the table.
"Well Mr. Green," said the Children. "I'd say it's high time we got this partnership underway. <
Emperor: They began to debate the royalties.
>You've brought in one of our enemies – maybe you could bring in the others before Father enacts his master plan..."
"Master plan?" said Green.<
Laguna: (Abe) The boiler?
>"Yes," said the Children. "He's assembling an army for one express purpose – an invasion of the Moonbase!<
MCT: …annnnnnnnnd the Idiot Ball falls into their collective lap. Having had their new acquaintance undertake ONE trust-building errand, they’ve let him in on their most important and secret plans. The Emperor would have commented here, but he’s too busy trying not to blow something up.
>"You'd fit in nicely. But first we need you to bring us the Powerpuff Girls and the rest of Sector V. They are the major threat right now.
"But as long as you're here, perhaps you'll stay for dinner while we discuss further plans..."<
Laguna: (Delightful Children) We’re having ribs!
>Cree's cell phone went off.
"Talk to me," she said, speaking into it.<
Emperor: “Do you like scary movies?”
(The KND’s vehicle was spotted, SCENE CHANGE to it)
>"Oh no," said Numbah Two. "We've been discovered!"
"Retreat to the Treehouse!" said Numbah One. "If we stay, we'll jeopardize their mission!"<
MCT: (Numbah One) Oh, no! Our stupid plan didn’t work!
>The S.T.A.N.K. transformed to plane mode, and took off.<
All: (make Transformers noises)
(SCENE CHANGE back to the Delightful Children’s manor)
>Cree got off the phone again.
"Well," she said, "looks like they didn't care as much about their friend as much as we thought."
The Delightful Children looked at Green with a suspicious look.<
Laguna: They had the sneaking suspicion they were stuck in a crossover.
>"Why don't you spend the night here," they said. "We'll go over all plans tomorrow, and then we can put your skills to the best of use."
"Well, sure," he said.
"Cree, show him to his room," they said. "Make sure he has a chance to freshen up before dinner."<
Emperor: (Delightful Children) If you have to, get in the tub with him.
(Mojo and the Delightful Children are onto Mr. Green)
>Perhaps tonight we should up security...
"And put another plan into effect that we've been dying to try."
They picked up their phones and dialed information.<
Laguna: Unfortunately, the information lady didn’t know Tom Cruise’s home number.
>"Get us the Soggy Bottom Maximum Security Penitentiary," they said.<
MCT: When they got the River Bottom Jug Band’s answering machine, they knew they needed to enunciate better.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>Hours passed.<
Emperor: You wait. Time passes.
>"Green has been awfully quiet lately," said Numbah Four. "So has Numbah Five."
"Maybe they fell asleep," said One. "Nonetheless, we have to continue to monitor them.<
Laguna: Paranoia. The silent killer.
(They split into shifts)
>As the two operatives and the heroine retired to their rooms, a ghostly shape alighted on the top of the Treehouse, carefully avoiding the security cameras...<
MCT: So much for their high-tech security.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>At the same time, Mr. Green slunk to the planning room. There was a good reason why Numbah One hadn't heard from him – he had taken his communication device out.<
Emperor: He wanted privacy while he broke into Father’s minibar.
>He didn't care about learning the Delightful Children's plans anymore or about Numbah One's orders – he had to get poor Numbah Five out of there.<
MCT: I have this sinking feeling he wouldn’t be so concerned if it were Numbah Four.
>He looked around to see if there were any security cameras; once he was relatively sure that there were none, he grabbed the set of keys from the wall. He started trying them on the mummy case.
But he was mistaken. There were security cameras in this room – hidden in the tiki masks. And the Delightful Children were watching his every move.<
Laguna: I knew you couldn’t trust the tikis!
>So, they thought. He's nothing more than a spy. To think that the Kids Next Door would ally themselves with an adult. We're going to have to discipline him...<
Emperor: Call Mistress Xenophilia.
>Green finally got the right key and opened the case. Numbah Five flopped out, covered with perspiration.
She moaned.
"Hang on," said Green, untying her.
He took out a bottle of water and put it to her lips. She swallowed it in large gulps. In a minute she was able to stand.<
Laguna: (Numbah Five) Where’d you get that water, Lake Swampy?!?
>"Sorry about this, Numbah Five," he said. "I had no idea they would..."
"Numbah Five's been through worse," said Five. "We've gotta get out of here. This was a bad idea from the start."<
All: Noooooooooooo…
>"Well, I did find out that they're planning an attack on some Moonbase," said Green.
"Lovely," said Five. "Let's go!"<
MCT: (Numbah Five) We have to warn Dracula!
(SCENE CHANGE)
>At the Treehouse, Bubbles was asleep in the guest bedroom they had provided for her. It was hard sleeping without her stuffed toy Octi (which she had foolishly left behind), but Numbah Three had lent her one of her own toys.<
Emperor: (As MCT opens his mouth) If you say what you are thinking, I will stick my scepter into you in such a way that you will require a small army of surgeons to extract it.
>She tossed in her sleep. Somewhere, her dreams turned ugly, and she saw hideous bats flying overhead.<
Laguna: So if we shoot her dad, will she become Batman?
>She woke up, and a hideous chuckle emitted through the room.
"W-who's there?" she said.
A dark shadow fell upon her bed.<
MCT: It’s Joe Don Baker! Run!
>In the control room, her sisters, Numbah One, and Numbah Three were continuing to monitor their two infiltrators.
"Strange," said Numbah One. "Numbah Five is moving, but Green is nowhere near her."
He picked up the microphone. "Green, where are you?" he said.<
Emperor: If this were a better story, he’d be calling Seven Force.
>Then they all heard a scream.
"That was Bubbles!" said Blossom.
The two Powerpuff Girls flew to the room, with One and Three trying hard to catch up. When they got there, Bubbles was lying on her stomach on the bed, crying her eyes out.
"Bubbles, what happened?" said Buttercup.
"What's wrong?" said Numbah One, running in and quite out of breath.
Bubbles was hysterical.
"There, there," said Blossom. "Did you have a nightmare?"
(All three are silent.)
>She rubbed her behind and cried again.
"Ow, it hurts!" she sobbed.<
(The silence continues.)
Laguna: …Let’s just move on.
MCT: Agreed.
>"Oh, boy," said Numbah One. "Numbah Three, wake up the others and break out the weapons. We've got a crazy vampire loose in the Treehouse!"
"Vampire?" said the Powerpuff Girls together.<
Laguna: (Homer Simpson) Vampire, eh?
>"Count Spankulot," said One. "One of the few enemies of the KND that adults hate just as much as kids do. He's a vampire who loves dishing out corporal punishment to kids. We sent him to prison a while back, and he swore revenge. Apparently he's busted out!"
"Ooh, let me at him!" said Buttercup. "Nobody spanks my sister and gets away with it!"
"Slow down, Buttercup!" said Blossom. "I've seen enough movies to know that vampires can be dangerous!"<
Emperor: This one, to be honest, sounds more like a vampire than the Cullens.
>Suddenly the alarm rang.
"Great," said Numbah One. "What else can go wrong?"<
MCT: Cue the answer in five, four…
>After about a minute, the three Girls and the four operatives gathered in the mainframe room. Numbah 65.3's face appeared on it.
"What is it?" said Numbah One. "We kind of have a crisis or two on our hands."<
Laguna: (Numbah One) We’re out of coffee and I think we’re facing lawsuits!
>"Sorry, Numbah One," said 65.3, but we thought you should be warned. We just learned that about two hours ago some nutcase in a helicopter broke Count Spankulot out of jail. We don't know where he is, but seeing as you guys were the ones who put him there..."
"Oh, we know exactly where he is!" said Numbah One.
"What's that supposed to mean?" said Numbah 65.3.
Then the Count's fiendish laughter echoed all over the Treehouse.<
Emperor: It’s just a serial killer. Don’t be such cowards.
>"Uh, yeah," said 65.3. "I see what you mean. Do you need backup?"
"No, we'll handle it from here," said One. "We'll get back to you."
He turned off the mainframe.<
MCT: (Numbah One) Everyone start screaming.
(Numbah One vetoes Numbah Four’s suggestion to run)
>"We'd best split into two groups. Blossom, Four, and I will go in one group. Bubbles, Buttercup, Two, and Three, you go in another. Everyone cover your backs – and by backs I mean rears!"<
(Before MCT can say anything, Laguna sticks his machine gun in MCT’s face)
(SCENE CHANGE)
>Mr. Green and Numbah Five ran through the corridors of Delightful Manor.
"With any luck," said Green. "We can slip out unnoticed."
A sound that sounded like marching came from in front of them.
"In our business," said Numbah Five, "there's no such thing as luck..."<
Emperor: There’s only bribery.
>She saw a suit of armor nearby and grabbed the mace it was holding. It was a little too heavy for her to use properly, but it was the only weapon within reach. They waited as a group of shadows came around the next turn.<
MCT: And they proceeded to murder the janitor.
>Walking around the corridor were five robots made of black metal. Their faces were blank screens. Their left arms were crab-like pincers, and their rights were hands that held small blaster-like weapons.
The screens on their faces flickered on, and the faces of the Delightful Children appeared on them, one on each.<
Laguna: Then they struck the Ginyu Force pose.
>"Hello Abigail," they said. "Have a nice nap?"
"I could say something about the accommodations," said Numbah Five, sarcastically.<
Emperor: What is it with bad writers and spelling out when someone is being sarcastic?
>"How do you like our new weapon?" they said. "We call them Battle Android Terror Soldiers, also known as B.A.T.S. Totally loyal, easy to program, and able to be mass-produced at a rate of one per hour. They'll be the driving force in Father's new army.
"And by the way Mr. Green, we're afraid we must terminate our agreement. Of course, since you know too much already, we're afraid that means 'terminate' in another sense too.
"B.A.T.S., destroy them!"<
MCT: Points for a decent acronym, points off for breaking the rule of ninja conservation.
(Fight scene ensues)
>"Just point and pull the trigger," said Five. "I doubt that those guys were limited to five..."
They heard more marching in front of them.
"Numbah Five hates it when she's right," she said.<
Laguna: So the heroes are supposed to be the smart ones, but they never learned not to say things like this?
(SCENE CHANGE)
>"Can't we get some light in here?" said Numbah Four, getting nervous. He was taking the rear, something he hated doing in times like this.<
MCT: …I’m afraid to say anything.
>"The hamsters are asleep, and we can't waste reserve power!" said Numbah One.<
Laguna: But YOU’RE awake! Just wake the hamsters up!
>He held a device in front of him, designed to track intruders.
"Besides, we're closing in on the Count. Right now he's in the kitchen. No, wait, he's in the living room... No, the planning room... no, the living room again... Darn he moves fast!"<
Emperor: Free Air Dash. It is the answer to all problems.
>"We've got to get him before he sneaks up on us again," said Blossom. "And I think between the seven of us, Numbah Four we can..."
She turned around.
"Numbah Four?"
She heard a scream down the hallway.<
MCT: (Numbah Four) Someone ate my corn chips!
>Numbah One and Blossom raced down the hallway and into a room to see Numbah Four lying on the floor. A dark shape rushed towards a door.
Numbah One fired his soda-bottle blaster and Blossom blasted her heat vision, but the Count simply disappeared.<
Laguna: Oh, goody, the vampire can wavedash!
>"Nuts!" said Numbah One.
"Hello!" said Numbah Four. [[Unfortunate Implications "Operative down over here with a sore behind!"
"Okay, try to get up," said Numbah One.]]<
(The Emperor and Laguna point their weaponry at MCT)
MCT: You guys are no fun.
>"This is getting out of hand," he continued.
"Yeah!" said Blossom. "Why don't you come out and face us like a man you coward!" she shouted.<
Emperor: Because he’s not a man, he’s a vampire?
(COWARD COUNT: 4)
>She didn't realize that she had her back to a laundry bin.
Two arms reached out and grabbed her!<
Laguna: The perils of not washing your sweaters.
>"Blossom!" shouted Numbah One, looking into the darkness.
The sound of screaming plus the sound of laughter echoed out of the bin.
Then it was followed by a loud "OOWW!"
A long silence ensued, and finally Blossom crawled out, holding her rump.<
All: (blank stares)
MCT: …my gods, we’re sick.
(Blossom landed a hit, and suggests they relocate to the kitchen)
>"I've got an idea. I just hope you guys have a kitchen that's well stocked... say, do you make pasta or pizza very often?"
"Sometimes," said Numbah One. "Why?"<
Laguna: Obvious plan is obvious.
(SCENE CHANGE to Numbah Five curbstomping robots)
>The Delightful Children were watching, and they were not pleased.
"Time to send out our secret weapon," they said, pushing a button.<
Emperor: The Richard Simmons robot!
>"Come on," said Five, as the last of the B.A.T.S. fell. "The exit is this way!"
They ran towards the main entrance to the manor...
And suddenly, the doors swung open. Standing in their path was a hulking figure. It resembled a knight in armor, blazing with fire.
"You didn't think getting out would be so easy, did you?" said the Delightful Children's voices. "You remember Sir Toasty, don't you?"<
Laguna: (high-pitched) Toas-tyyyyyyyy!
(It’s immune to bullets, so: )
>They ran to the left, but stopped short. Numbah Five noticed something on the wall.
A fire hose.<
All: (Facepalm)
Emperor: I cannot believe this.
>"You gotta hand it to those Delightful Dorks," she said, pulling it out, "they're stupid!<
MCT: I can’t argue the point.
(The fight is over before it began)
>They ran out the door and headed towards Green's car. They got in, just in time to see the Delightful Children's last attack. Seven B.A.T.S. on jetpacks flew out of the top floor of the manor towards them.
"Hang on!" said Green, starting up the car.
He drove away from them, hardly knowing where he was heading.<
Laguna: (Numbah Five) No! You’re heading TOWARD the manor! Turn it around!
(SCENE CHANGE)
>"Okay, said Numbah Two. "Why are we in the kitchen, and why is Blossom going through the cabinet?"
"I don't know," said Numbah Four, who was still rubbing his rear. "She said something about making pasta."<
Emperor: I fail to see what rigatoni will do for this situation.
>"Let's see," said Blossom. "Onion salt, parsley, pizza seasoning, brown sugar, oregano... aha!"<
MCT: (Blossom) Rat poison!
(They await the count’s entrance)
>"Naughty children must face the sting of... Count Spankulot!" said the form, as Spankulot formed out of the mist.<
Laguna: What, no “miserable pile of secrets”?
(Buttercup fights Spankulot and doesn’t do very well)
>With a lunge he grabbed hold of Buttercup. She struggled, but his strength was enormous.
"Now you are going to get what's coming to you!" he said, putting her over his knee.
He raised his hand...<
Emperor: And the police fell on him.
>"No, you are!" said Blossom, coming up from behind.
She dumped the powdery substance in the cylinder all over him!
Spankulot dropped Buttercup and started to gasp and choke! Steam poured from him!
"What was that stuff?" said Numbah Two.
"Garlic powder!" said Blossom.<
MCT: Oh, what a surprise.
(They kick his ass, in a fight that makes Redwall battles look even-sided)
>Ugh, he thought. I should have known better than to listen to the Delightful Children. They always have the worst ideas...
Well, things couldn't get any worse.
Then alarms sounded and a squad of police cars surrounded him.
"Hold it right there, Spankulot!" shouted a police officer through a megaphone.<
Laguna: He really likes this joke, doesn’t he?
>Spankulot sighed and put up his hands.
Back at the Treehouse, the team and the Girls breathed a sigh of relief.
"You know Girls," said Numbah One. "I've been meaning to tell you, you'd all make excellent Kids Next Door. Maybe after all this is over, we could get the Academy to accept you.<
Emperor: As if they weren’t special enough already.
>"Us, Kids Next Door?" said Bubbles.
"We'd... have to think about it," said Blossom.<
MCT: (Blossom) Okay, thought about it. Where do I sign up?
>"Say," said Numbah Two. "I wonder how Numbah Five and Mr. Green are doing."
They all stared at each other.
They had forgotten about them!<
Laguna: As a former soldier… some friends those guys are!
>They rushed back to the monitoring room.
"Strange," said Numbah One, "Numbah Five isn't even in the mansion now. She's on the east side of town, going fast in a land vehicle. Most likely Mr. Green's car. They must have escaped..."
"And someone must be chasing them!" said Numbah Three.<
MCT: Or she’s joined the drag racing circuit.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>"Our Treehouse was just next door to Delightful Manor," said Numbah Five. "You didn't have to dive all over the city!"
"I got scared!" said Green.<
Emperor: In truth, he had the strongest craving for tacos.
>"For a monster, you don't have that much backbone," said Numbah Five.
The rocket propelled B.A.T.S. were chasing the station wagon, and it was all Mr. Green could do to avoid them.
"Do you want me to drive?" said Numbah Five.
"Um, are you sure?" he said.<
Laguna: (Mr. Green) Can a kid your age drive stick?
>"I can manage a lot better than how you're doin'!" she said.
"Okay, take the wheel," he said, moving over.
Numbah Five moved into the driver's seat.<
MCT: And folded the station wagon around a telephone pole.
(Cue chase scene)
>Hmmm, thought Five, as an intersection came up.
She turned on the right turn-signal. The B.A.T.S. closed in...
And then she turned left. The robots flew to the right.
"Dumb robots," she chuckled.<
Emperor: At which point they did an aerial loop and came down on her.
>"Be careful!" said Green. "My insurance doesn't cover a second driver!"<
Laguna: Can you even get insurance when you look like that?
>The B.A.T.S. regrouped and headed after them again.
"Don't these guys ever give up?" said Five. "I'm running out of tricks, and besides..."<
MCT: (Five-as-Laguna) I have to scratch the bottom of my feet!
(Laguna pistol-whips him)
>A blast of energy came out of the sky, blowing away one of the B.A.T.S.
"Huh?" they both said at once.
They looked up, and saw the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W. above them!
More laser fire came down, and the robots were blown into scrap metal.
Then the S.K.Y.C.L.A.W.'s claw reached down and grabbed the station wagon. It slowly lifted the vehicle up onboard.<
Emperor: Before crushing it into a cube.
(SCENE CHANGE)
>Explanations were soon made, as well as a briefing of all that had happened.
"Phew!" said Mr. Green, sipping root beer. "I had no idea this would be too dangerous."<
MCT: Even the adults in this story drink kid-friendly beverages…
>"Once it's morning," said Numbah One, "you can go home. We won't be needing you again."
"But we've found out an important fact – Father intends to raise an army to attack the Moonbase, and he wants us out of the way to do so."<
Laguna: Not that it’s ever worked before.
(Numbah One builds up Father, and one final SCENE CHANGE later: )
>Indeed.
As the morning sun rose, a small private plane landed at the nearby airport. Sitting in the passenger's cabin was a man – if you could call him that – who resembled nothing more than a shadowy black silhouette with fiery eyes.
Informants had told him much in the past twenty-four hours...
And he wasn't in the best of moods.<
Emperor: Being run over with a steam roller will do that to you.
>Coming up next.
Father makes his fiery debut, and he won't be the only one. This fanfic enters its next stage, and it won't bode well for our heroic childish heroes – or their friends. Stay tuned...<
MCT: I’ll be sure not to set my Tivo.
Laguna: I feel sorry for whoever gets stuck as his assistant.
Emperor: How can a chapter with dual fight scenes be so boring?
MCT: It only gets worse from here.
Emperor: Oh, joy.
