Rest: 6 hours
Alright, we've got all sorts of stuff to do, and I'm feeling particularly energetic and hateful today, so we're going to go down our checklist and get as much of it done as we can.
So let's see... Oh yeah, I should probably go talk to the bald asskicker about the amulet of kings. I figure that's at least semi-important, and it getting stolen is at least partially my fault.
Actually, no, it's not my fault at all. I did what I was told. I took the amulet to Jauffre, and THEN it got stolen. I'm blameless, and if anyone thinks otherwise, they are going to get this katana rammed right down their throat.
Still, it does fall to me, Lord Death Firedoom, to save everyone because, as I have stated before, I am the only one who has enough brain cells to get anything done in the world.
And now that I think about it, that really extends to the jerks on the other side, too. I mean, they have everything they need to destroy everything, why don't they do it?
Y'know what? I'm going to go cause an accident. Baldy can wait.
Y'know, despite being cold as all get out, this place is kinda pretty.
◊ I'll get over it, I've got a jerk to kill. So let's just find his house and... ah, here it is. Nice convenient entrance to the basement there, too bad it will serve as my entrypoint. Now just to pick this lock... damn, broke a pick... there we go. I'm in.
◊ Now we just have to not get spotted and find this mounted head's fastenings. They couldn't be in this really easy to spot crawlspace, now could they?
◊ Oh look, they are.
◊ Look at how shoddy they are. It's a wonder it hasn't broke off and killed him before now. Oh well, I'll just untie this little string here and... damn. That was loud. Well, time to get out of here before the big jerk with the battle axe murders the shit out of me.
Aw, it doesn't even look like anything happened.
◊ It's almost like he got some sort of jam on the wall and that's it. Second... no wait... Third worst murder ever. Man, I hope the reward is at least worth it.
Just gotta get out through the basement and... Uh oh. I hear footsteps rapidly approaching. Alright, you town guard fucks, I'll take you all down before you can take me in again. I'm not going back to prison and you can't make... oh, it's just some attendant.
◊ What's this about then? Can't say, huh?
◊ You make me sad. So be it. How much is this stipend? 25 whole septims! Oh wow, I will put this countess on my priorities list. I'll put her right up under taking up knitting. See you in fifty-five years or so, jerkass.
Okay, Nosferatu
◊, what do you have for me? Enchanted dagger, huh?
◊ You know how to court a killer but I am married to the job. The job is murder. All the time. Anyway, I need to go check on Jau— It's probably best I don't tell you. Going up in rank? Awesome.
◊ Y'know, while I'm here, I might as well see what the next job is. Yeah, I'll take the job. So who's the sorry jerk I'm going to have to —THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY EVER.
◊ Oh... oh what? No.
◊ I wouldn't know anything about breaking out of prison armed with nothing but some rusty weaponry that I snagged off some dead goblins which I then used to kill more goblins, whom I placed a blood vendetta on, before proceeding to get roped into some very idiotic but very important bullshit. Nope. Not a clue. I mean I'll try and break in but — You cheeky bastard! You knew the whole time.
◊ Man, Tepes, you crazy.
And don't think I don't know that.
◊ God, do you know how long I spent cooped up across from that fuckwit? It had to have been at least a few years. I am going to stab him so hard that the next Valen Dreth wannabe is going to feel it.
Now what was I doing? I mean apart from realizing my dream is coming true. Oh yeah, Jauffre and his magical ass kicking baldness. Need to go talk to that.
Okay, let's find baldness. Oh, there he is, just sort of sitting out near the doorway.
And he wants me to go find Baurus. So that's how you pronounce it. Man, that has been bugging me this whole time.
I have to reflect on that. I'll make my way to the Imperial city in a little while, but man, mind equals blown.
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