History WMG / Twilight

** [[TearJerker Why]] [[DownerEnding did]] [[ShootTheShaggyDog you]] [[NightmareFuel have]] [[KickTheDog to]] [[PoisonOakEpilepticTrees say]] [[MoralEventHorizon that!?]]

The main reason for Twilight's success is that it appeals to the growing sexuality of the puberty stricken girls and moms who read it. The Twilight series is chock full of intentional FetishFuel for Twi-fans. Meyer said the idea came to her in a dream-what if were an EroticDream? Originally, Twilight was a PornWithPlot involving a threesome with vampire and werewolf, who are often sources [[VampiresAreSexGods of retreating]] [[YouSexyBeast to bunks.]] The HoYay between Edward and Jacob? GuyOnGuyIsHot, even though Meyer's views on the subject wouldn't allow her to consciously recognize it. After sharing her erotica with some close friends, they thought that it could be adapted into a good romance novel. Part of the reason why Twilight fails is the fact that it's trying to adapt pornography, which is known less for great storylines and more for cleaning the pipes. This may also go to explain the sheer levels of WishFulfilment-what else do you expect from a medium designed solely for pleasure?

'''...The [[CthulhuMythos Necronomicon]]'''

* You're talking about August Derleth's ThemeParkVersion. ''Twilight'''s effect is closer to that of ''Literature/TheKingInYellow''. ("The very banality and innocence of the first act only allowed the blow to fall afterward with more awful effect.") In which case Stephenie Meyer probably earns our admiration for producing a real-life BrownNote with madness-inducing properties worthy of anything in the CthulhuMythos.

* [[HellSing Alucard]]

[[spoiler:Renesmee]] wanted revenge on [[spoiler:Edward and Bella for giving her [[WhoNamesTheirKidDude such an awful name]]]]. So, after reading/watching {{Hellsing}}, she changed her name to Victoria in homage to Seras Victoria. She realised that no one would take her seriously as a vampire if [[spoiler:she had "eyes the color of milk chocolate" (and Edward and Bella would recognise her)]], so she got red contacts. She then somehow went back in time and [[spoiler:joined up with James and Laurent for the express purpose of exacting her revenge upon Edward and Bella]]. Then she met [[spoiler:Edward and still-human Bella]] at the baseball field, and we all know what happened from there. [[spoiler:Yes, this means Edward ripped off his own daughter's head.]]

Remember, tropers, [[TVTropesWikiDrinkingGame don't edit drunk]].

** [[TVTropesDrinkingGame Well, that's the last of]] ''[[TVTropesDrinkingGame this]]'' [[TVTropesDrinkingGame glass.]]

Think about it: Forks, Washington is [[StargateCity exactly the sort of place you'd expect to find the little buggers running loose]]. It also explains why the "vampires" are so tough. That high-refractory index is what you get for having an epidermis of tiny metallic robots. That bloodlust they have to get over is a combination of their Asuran programming to kill and the nanobots using blood iron to replicate themselves.

Forks, Washington is [[StargateCity exactly the kind of place you'd expect to find O'Neill's clone]]. Whether or not Mike knows there are replicators (see the above WMG) in his school is anyone's guess.

* It's still more honest that [[{{Transformers}} making]] [[Franchise/MastersOfTheUniverse a]] [[GIJoe cartoon]] [[MyLittlePony series]] [[Franchise/CareBears just]] [[WesternAnimation/ActionMan to]] [[MaxSteel promote]] [[WesternAnimation/ChallengeOfTheGoBots action]] [[WesternAnimation/PoundPuppies1980s figures]].

* Bear with me, because this is a long one...

** [[{{Knowing}} And Meyer is an alien who masterminded all of that just to take away Nicolas Cage's children and take them to another planet.]]

* It's still more honest that [[{{Transformers}} making]] [[Franchise/MastersOfTheUniverse a]] [[GIJoe cartoon]] [[MyLittlePony series]] [[Franchise/CareBears just]] [[ActionMan to]] [[MaxSteel promote]] [[WesternAnimation/ChallengeOfTheGoBots action]] [[WesternAnimation/PoundPuppies1980s figures]].

'''...[[ComicBook/{{X-Men}} Anti-Morlocks]].'''

[[WMG: Five minutes after the books ended, [[VideoGame/{{F-Zero}} Captain]] [[MemeticBadass Falcon]] killed the entire cast.]]

[[WMG: [[TheGreatGatsby Jay Gatsby]] was a werewolf who imprinted on Daisy]]

Because an English major has to know the unfortunate implications of a "May-Next-Next-December" couple named after [[Literature/{{Lolita}} Clare Quilty]]. Of course, if all the Mormon stuff was unconscious....

Because an English major has to know the unfortunate implications of a "May-Next-Next-December" couple named after [[{{Lolita}} Clare Quilty]]. Of course, if all the Mormon stuff was unconscious....

Theoretically this will lead to a Redemption Arc in the sequel, but Meyer will find it so liberating to write an evil character instead of the crap she does most of the time, she'll end up turning twilight into an Anti!Twilight series focusing on Vamp!Bella doing evil things for several books and eventually lose all sense of perspective. C'mon, it's happened to all the other Vampire Fiction Writers with [[LongRunner long series]] and {{unpleasable fanbase}}s. Just look at what [[AnitaBlake Laurel K. Hamilton]] or Creator/AnneRice did.

** Don't forget Alessa from SilentHill.

The vampires were the original dominant species of earth. Some sort of disease caused them to [[NoPartyLikeADonnerParty become cannibalistic]] and aggressive. They almost met the fall of their civilization by literally eating themselves, until they came with a solution: they created an inferior race of vampires called humans, and started breeding them as livestock. The smell and taste of the human blood became more more stronger by selective breeding them. The vampires started over breeding the humans. Soon the human herds were too numerous, causing them to escape and overpopulate earth, out numbering their creators, building their own civilization and eventually forgetting about the [[AwfulTruth true origin of their species]].....

Native Americans can shift into wolves, eagles, bears, etc., depending on the tribe. Vampires are almost exclusively European, because Europeans are elegant, snooty, pale and posh, doncha' know. Bella's Asian classmates are secretly dragons hiding in human form. Ireland is populated entirely by leprechauns, and their sworn enemy are the Jews, who are dwarfs and want to steal their gold. Hispanics are all chupacabras. Romani people are witches with the gift of foresight, and Alice has Romani blood, hence her ESP and dark hair. The violence in the Middle East is in fact caused by all the mummy curses from the disturbed pharaohs who secretly rule that part of the world. Italians are all Greek gods in human form (Al Capone was Ares) and everyone's sassy gay friend is a literal fairy.

That's why she sounded distant in the ''HocusPocus'' review, she was immersed in her fantasy world (specifically, she was experiencing the events of ''New Moon'').

[[WMG: TVTropes is now owned by Stephenie Meyer]]

'''...[[VampireTheRequiem A bastard bloodline]] altered by the [[TabletopGame/ChangelingTheLost True Fae.]]'''

* Alternately, it's a conspiracy devised by the [[VampireTheRequiem Mekhet and Daeva]] clans, partly to make mortals less resistant to the Daeva, and partly to reinforce the {{Masquerade}} by spreading misinformation about the nature of true vampires. Can you imagine a Daeva walking up to a group of Twilight fans, excitedly claim he can't read the mind of one of the group, then invite her to a more secluded place to "stare into her eyes"?

* [[TeamFourStar Freezer and Mister Popo]]