History UsefulNotes / GermanPeculiarities

Arminius, son of Segimer, was a Germanic man from the tribe of the Cherusci. At the time he lived (around the beginning of our chronology), most of today's Germany (everything west of the Elbe river, to be precise) was part of UsefulNotes/TheRomanEmpire. Originally, he served as a ''ductor popularium'', a leader of Germanic auxiliaries, in [[UsefulNotes/TheGloryThatWasRome the Roman army]]. During this time, he acquired useful military skills, learned Latin, became a Roman citizen and even member of the knight class. For unknown reasons though, one day [[DefectorFromDecadence he had enough of civilization]], it seems. Around A.D. 8, Arminius had become one of the tribal leaders. At the same time, a Publius Quinctilius Varus was the Roman legate in the area where the Cherusci lived. If Arminius feared for his power, or whatever his reason was, he didn't show it, but instead kept the contact with Varus - hence knowing exactly what Varus was up to, while the Roman didn't suspect a thing. By A.D. 9, a Germanic uprising happened, and Varus took the legions XVII, XVIII and XIX to quell it. He got some warnings (by Arminius' father-in-law Segestes!), [[WhatAnIdiot but decided not to care about them.]] At the area of Teutoburg forest [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield (it still isn't completely clear where that was)]][[note]]There have been extensive excavations in Kalkriese near Osnabrück in Southern Lower Saxony that point to a battle happening there somewhere around the right time (by means of coins fund) and in roughly the right size[[/note]], the three legions were [[CurbStompBattle defeated and utterly annihilated]][[note]]Current theory assumes a running battle of three days or more happening along the eastern side of the Wiehen with the Germanics hitting the Roman column again and again with a final battle at Kalkriese before the Romans could leave the heavily-forested areas and escape into the more open Norddeutsche Tiefebene[[/note]] by the Germanics led by Arminius. [[RedemptionEqualsDeath Varus took his own life after losing the battle.]] Emperor Augustus would shout his famous "Vare, Vare, redde legiones!" (Varus, Varus, give me back my legions) when the message came to Rome. The German uprising spread, and the Romans had to give up the whole area between Rhine and Elbe.

As you may have guessed by now, Germans ''love'' complaining, which has - naturally - resulted in Meta-complaining with many Germans annoyed about Germans who complain about Germans always complaining. If you bring up GermanicEfficiency in the company of Germans, they will most likely point out a dozen or so examples how you are wrong, the GloryDays are long past and Germany is basically a slightly less financially destitute third world country on the brink of collapse.

However, it has been gaining traction again in certain populist sectors of the German political discourse in the wake of the EU's troubles, the European migrant crisis of 2015 and the general gradual shift towards right-wing sentiments in continental Europe ([[{{RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement}} which we will refrain from commenting upon, let alone taking sides, here]]), as a symbol for the German nation's alleged lethargy in the face of the (alleged?) problems at hand. As a companion word, the term ''Schlafschaf'' (meaning "sleeping sheep", roughly equivalent in meaning and derisive character to the US alt-right's ''sheeple'') has become wildly popular among members of the right-wing ''Alternative für Deutschland'' party as well as among grassroots Euro-alt-right movements like Pegida.

The most favorite sports in Germany are: [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball Football]], [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup football]], [[UsefulNotes/EuroFooty football]][[note]]what Americans call "soccer" – incidentally, American "gridiron" football has a minor following in Germany thanks in no small part to osmosis from US troops stationed there during [[UsefulNotes/HistoryOfTheColdWar the Cold War]]. Germany also hosts [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best American Football league in Europe]] and has won the European championship - yes such a thing exists - three times, 2001, 2010 and 2014 and will host the upcoming 2018 edition[[/note]], tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher) and boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers) Handball, ice-hockey and basketball are somewhere down the line and only really ''en vogue'' when Germans are good at it. This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The [[GermanicEfficiency German]] football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves, losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a [[HeatWave hard game at 40°C]] against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to [[UnnecessaryRoughness literally fight]] Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (as of October 2016 there are 51 stores and five more planned until 2019, in comparison: the entire US has 44) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on German citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves. The relationship between Germany and IKEA could, however, be compared to the relationship between the world and Microsoft - in both cases, many people use the company's products, but many of the people who use the company's products complain about them a lot.

The most favorite sports in Germany are: [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball Football]], [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup football]], [[UsefulNotes/EuroFooty football]][[note]]what Americans call "soccer" – incidentally, American "gridiron" football has a minor following in Germany thanks in no small part to osmosis from US troops stationed there during [[UsefulNotes/HistoryOfTheColdWar the Cold War]]. Germany also hosts [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best American Football league in Europe]] and has won the European championship - yes such a thing exists - three times, 2001, 2010 and 2014 and will host the upcoming 2018 edition[[/note]], tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher) and boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers) Handball, ice-hockey and basketball are somewhere down the line and only really ''en vogue'' when Germans are good at it. This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The [[GermanicEfficiency German]] football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But [[MagnificentBastard trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves]], losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a [[HeatWave hard game at 40°C]] against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to [[UnnecessaryRoughness literally fight]] Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

Most of the TV recording is unfortunately [[MissingEpisode lost]], including the whole soundtrack. Fortunately, the {{radio}} comment by Herbert Zimmermann has survived (and always was better known anyway, since few Germans had TV then). His [[LargeHam emotional reporting style]] stands out even today ("Deutschland im Endspiel der Fußballweltmeisterschaft – das ist eine Riesen-Sensation – das ist ein echtes Fußball-Wunder" - "Germany in the football finals - that's a huge sensation - that's a real football miracle"; "Gott sei Dank! Es steht nur noch 2:1." - "Thank {{God}}! It's only 2-1 now."; "Halten Sie mich für verrückt, halten Sie mich für übergeschnappt" - "Call me crazy, call me nuts"; ) and especially his comments when Germany scored the winning goal ("Aus dem Hintergrund müsste Rahn schießen, Rahn schießt - TOR, TOR, TOR!" - "Rahn has to shoot from the background, Rahn shoots - goal, goal, goal!"), when Turek saved one last time ("Turek, du bist ein Teufelskerl, Turek, du bist ein Fußballgott" - "Turek, you're a MagnificentBastard; Turek, you're a football god") and after the final whistle ("AUS! AUS! AUS! Das Spiel ist aus. Deutschland ist Weltmeister, schlägt Ungarn 3 zu 2!" - "Over! Over! Over! The game is over! Germany are World Champions, beat Hungary 3–2!") In 2003, a movie about the match was made in Germany, with the very same title: ''Das Wunder von Bern''.

In 1887, the UnitedKingdom passed the ''Merchandise Marks Act 1887'', which states that imported products must be labeled with their country of origin. The purpose was of course for British consumers to be able to distinguish British-made products from the "inferior" stuff produced on the continent, and buy accordingly patriotic, for the benefit of Britain's own economy, because originally, British factories did put out the best stuff and the German ones were pumping out cheap crap (they had a reputation rather like China today). [[HoistByHisOwnPetard This backfired]], though, as German products were getting steadily better, and by 1900, said consumers began to associate the label ''Made in Germany'' with ''good'' quality. It helped too that "Made in Germany" had always been a selling point for a particular class of product--artificial dyes and pigments, which although a British invention (the first synthetic colour was mauveine, extracted from coal tar by William Henry Perkin in 1856) were perfected by the Germans.

The most favorite sports in Germany are: [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball Football]], [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup football]], [[UsefulNotes/EuroFooty football]][[note]]what Americans call "soccer" – incidentally, American "gridiron" football has a minor following in Germany thanks in no small part to osmosis from US troops stationed there during [[UsefulNotes/HistoryOfTheColdWar the Cold War]]. Germany also hosts [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best American Football league in Europe]] and has won the European championship - yes such a thing exists - three times, 2001, 2010 and 2014 and will host the upcoming 2018 edition[[/note]], tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher) and boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers) Handball, ice-hockey and basketball are somewhere down the line and only really ''en vogue'' when Germans are good at it. This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The [[GermanicEfficiency German]] football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But [[MagnificentBastard trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves]], losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a hard game at 40°C against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to [[UnnecessaryRoughness literally fight]] Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

Germany was held responsible for UsefulNotes/WorldWarI in the Treaty of Versailles, which fueled nationalist feelings, but after [[ThoseWackyNazis the Nazis]] started and lost another World War, nationalism lost a lot of its appeal and became a touchy subject. Which of course did not happen overnight, as it would take years for the full extent of German war crimes, the Holocaust etc. to become public knowledge and for people to face up to what had happened. In West Germany you might say that even though people became more reticent about using national symbols in private, the negative side of nationalism was not completely dead as some prominent people who had fled from the Nazis or contributed to the victory over them, like Marlene Dietrich and Willy Brandt, were still attacked as "disloyal" or "traitors" from some quarters as late as the 1960s. Another part of the West German public took it to the other extreme and tried to create a "post-national" German and European identity. Which some people have seen as typically German: swinging from being among the leading nationalists in Europe to the leading internationalists. To what extent it worked is debatable (countries outside of Germany certainly were not eager to pick up such ideas). In any case, expect that GodwinsLaw may - no, will - be involved in discussions about German patriotism/nationalism, but also don't be surprised about other people bemoaning that in their view Germans are being insufficiently patriotic and suffering from a national inferiority complex to the point of German flags being almost entirely owned by state buildings and german citizens ignoring flag code by throwing away their flags after sport events.

[[OverusedRunningGag Believe it or not, Germany has more than 16,000 Döner shops, which might be some kind of record.]] Donner or shawarma or gyros in other countries was invented in its modern form (thinly sliced, spit-roasted meat and veggies with sauce and spices in one or the other kind of bread) in Berlin by Turkish immigrants, and quickly conquered the German fast food landscape. Today it keeps its dominating position, having a higher sales volume than all UsefulNotes/McDonalds in Germany (which takes second place), and Döner shops even in many villages. Germans in other countries cite Döner as one of the things they miss the most [[note]]along with, and often surpassed by, beer, bread, cheeses, fish dishes and sausages[[/note]]. A few Döner shops exist in places such as the UK, Japan or the US, usually led by turkish-german immigrants.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (as of October 2016 there are 51 stores and five more planned until 2019, in comparison: the entire US has 44) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves. The relationship between Germany and IKEA could, however, be compared to the relationship between the world and Microsoft - in both cases, many people use the company's products, but many of the people who use the company's products complain about them a lot.

Meanwhile in East Germany the government encouraged patriotism on its terms, and facilitated it by treating the Nazis as something alien to the Victorious German Working Class. This led to the odd situation that the uniforms of the East German armed forces resembled those of the Nazi Wehrmacht more than those of the West German ones. For a long time East Germany defined itself was the "better Germany" and still paid lip service to the stated goal of reunification. It was only some time after the building of the Wall that the government tried to foster a GDR identity completely separate from the rest of Germany, but as the events of 1989-1990 showed, that did not quite work. Since 1989 attitudes have relaxed somewhat. It helped that many people abroad actually turned out to be happy for the reunited Germans, and that the 2006 [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup World Cup]] in Germany showed that even German association football fans could be happy for their team and proud of their nation while still being welcoming hosts for the international teams and their fans. However, things started taking a turn towards the other direction again with the rise of a right wing populist party in the mid 2010s and ''Pegida'' demonstrations that are chock full of black red yellow flags (albeit some of them in a weird "Scandinavian cross" design that was invented by the 1944 coup attempt against Hitler and is now popular with the political right, just like black white red flags were in the past). In general, a German waving around a flag unrelated to a sports event is almost universally presumed to be politically on the right.

Germany was held responsible for UsefulNotes/WorldWarI in the Treaty of Versailles, which fueled nationalist feelings, but after [[ThoseWackyNazis the Nazis]] started and lost another World War, nationalism lost a lot of its appeal and became a touchy subject. Which of course did not happen overnight, as it would take years for the full extent of German war crimes, the Holocaust etc. to become public knowledge and for people to face up to what had happened. In West Germany you might say that even though people became more reticent about using national symbols in private, the negative side of nationalism was not completely dead as some prominent people who had fled from the Nazis or contributed to the victory over them, like Marlene Dietrich and Willy Brandt, were still attacked as "disloyal" or "traitors" from some quarters as late as the 1960s. Another part of the West German public took it to the other extreme and tried to create a "post-national" German and European identity. Which some people have seen as typically German: swinging from being among the leading nationalists in Europe to the leading internationalists. To what extent it worked is debatable (countries outside of Germany certainly were not eager to pick up such ideas). In any case, expect that GodwinsLaw may - no, will - be involved in discussions about German patriotism/nationalism, but also don't be surprised about other people bemoaning that in their view Germans are being insufficiently patriotic and suffering from a national inferiority complex to the point of german flags being almost entirely owned by state buildings and german citizens ignoring flag code by throwing away their flags after sport events.

The most favorite sports in Germany are: [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball Football]], [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup football]], [[UsefulNotes/EuroFooty football]][[note]]what Americans call "soccer" – incidentally, American "gridiron" football has a minor following in Germany thanks in no small part to osmosis from US troops stationed there during [[HistoryOfTheColdWar the Cold War]]. Germany also hosts [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best American Football league in Europe]] and has won the European championship - yes such a thing exists - three times, 2001, 2010 and 2014 and will host the upcoming 2018 edition[[/note]], tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher) and boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers) Handball, ice-hockey and basketball are somewhere down the line and only really ''en vogue'' when Germans are good at it. This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The [[GermanicEfficiency German]] football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But [[MagnificentBastard trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves]], losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a hard game at 40°C against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to [[UnnecessaryRoughness literally fight]] Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

[[NationsAsPeople The US have Uncle Sam, France has Marianne, Germany has (aside from the female Germania) Michel]]: A guy who's for some reason always wearing a night cap. The origin is not completely clear; some people claim it had to do with the archangel Michael (patron saint of Germany), but that's not proven. Be that as it may, as the cap hints at, this Michel guy is generally seen as pretty relaxed, laid-back, a BigEater and drinker, and especially, someone who likes to sleep[[note]]This latter trait was in the 19th century portrayed as a metaphor for the Germans' apparent docility towards their multitude of kings and princelings[[/note]]. ''Gemütlich'', as we say. And admittedly, very far from [[NationalStereotypingTropes German stereotypes]] (except maybe {{Oktoberfest}}) like the ruthlessly efficient UsefulNotes/{{Prussia}}, let alone ThoseWackyNazis[[note]]Although one of ''their'' slogans was "Germany, awaken!"[[/note]]. Sometimes still used in caricatures, as stand-in for the German people, if nowhere else.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (as of October 2016 there are 51 stores and five more planned until 2019, in comparison: the entire US has 44) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves.

The most favorite sports in Germany are: [[UsefulNotes/AssociationFootball Football]], [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup football]], [[UsefulNotes/EuroFooty football]][[note]]what Americans call "soccer" – incidentally, American "gridiron" football has a minor following in Germany thanks in no small part to osmosis from US troops stationed there during [[HistoryOfTheColdWar the Cold War]]. Germany also hosts [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best American Football league in Europe]] and has won the European championship - yes such a thing exists - three times, 2001, 2010 and 2014 and will host the upcoming 2018 edition[[/note]], tennis (preferably with Boris Becker and Steffi Graf), car racing (preferably with Michael Schumacher) and boxing (preferably with Henry Maske, or the Klitchko brothers) Handball, ice-hockey and basketball are somewhere down the line and only really ''en vogue'' when Germans are good at it. This love goes back to (at least) the 1954 FIFA World Cup, first time when Germany won TheWorldCup. Which, probably, no one expected, for good reasons: The [[GermanicEfficiency German]] football team had to play Hungary's Golden Team (which hadn't lost a game in 4 years!) in the group stage. But [[MagnificentBastard trainer Sepp Herberger decided to play Hungary with his reserves]], losing 8-3. However, this just meant that Germany had to play another game against Turkey (which they had defeated easily just before), but then got to the easier side in the knockout stage, defeating Yugoslavia and Austria (who had suffered from a hard game at 40°C against Switzerland) before the finals, a rematch with Hungary (who had to [[UnnecessaryRoughness literally fight]] Brazil and later confront reigning champions Uruguay). The match was played in heavy rain, which the Germans had christened "Fritz Walter-weather", as their team captain was known for playing his best football under those conditions. In addition, the Germans were equipped with footwear supplied by Adidas, which had produced a hitherto unheard of design of boot with exchangeable, screw-in studs that could be adapted to any weather. This enabled the German players to wear their regular boots despite the adverse weather.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (as of October 2016 there are 50 stores and five more planned until 2019, in comparison: the entire US has 44) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (as of October 2016 there are 50 and five more planned until 2019, in comparison: the entire US has 44) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves.

Now, Ikea is of course a Swedish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (currently 46, in comparison: the entire US has 50) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves.

Today, the worldwide export of its products is one of the most important pillars of the German economy. For some time, Germany exported more than even the US - not in percentages, in absolute numbers! The stigma turned cachet ''Made in Germany'' can arguably seen as significant factor which contributed to this development. Even to this day a number of German companies that would be too large to list here are world leaders in their field (often rather obscure fields only of interest to industry experts but nonetheless essential) and they often produce mostly or exclusively in Germany exporting worldwide. To give just one example of the importance of family-led "small" companies known as the ''Mittelstand'' (middle estate) in Germany, the town of Herzogenaurach is famous for and headquarters of Adidas and Puma, but the biggest employer is INA Schaeffler, a company producing ball bearings and one of the handful of top companies in that segment.

Nowadays nobody sane in Germany wants to start a war in Europe, but people still like their Autobahn very much. There's still for a (small) part no speed limit on them, which was unique in the world for quite some time. People who wanted to change this (like the [[UsefulNotes/PoliticalSystemOfGermany Green Party]]) faced too much resistance and gave up on the issue. "Freie Fahrt für freie Bürger!" (Free driving for free citizens!) is a slogan used by car lobbyists and enthusiasts alike (though might attract giggles from juvenile English listeners). The car lobby in Germany is roughly comparable in power to the [[UsefulNotes/AmericanGunPolitics American pro-gun lobby.]] There are strict speed limits on the more dangerous parts, and a list of other rules are in place to allow as smooth travel as possible. One of these is that every vehicle has to be able to drive at least 70 km/h (43 mph). Another is that it is illegal to run out of fuel, or insult other drivers[[note]]For the latter one, just as for stopping in a dangerous curve for no reason, the penalty may be even ''imprisonment''[[/note]]. Travel is done in the right lane with one only being permitted to use the left lane for passing. ''No'' passing in the right lane is permitted. During TheSeventies, many new Autobahnen were built - during this decade, the network almost doubled its length. In 2010, Germany had about 13,000 kilometers of Autobahn, one of the densest networks in the world, and the third longest, after the United States and China. Which means a lot in a country the size of Montana.

Now, Ikea is of course a danish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (currently 46, in comparison: the entire US has 50) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package, the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long amounts of time can attest themselves.

Most of the TV recording is unfortunately LostForever, including the whole soundtrack. Fortunately, the {{radio}} comment by Herbert Zimmermann has survived (and always was better known anyway, since few Germans had TV then). His [[LargeHam emotional reporting style]] stands out even today ("Deutschland im Endspiel der Fußballweltmeisterschaft – das ist eine Riesen-Sensation – das ist ein echtes Fußball-Wunder" - "Germany in the football finals - that's a huge sensation - that's a real football miracle"; "Gott sei Dank! Es steht nur noch 2:1." - "Thank {{God}}! It's only 2-1 now."; "Halten Sie mich für verrückt, halten Sie mich für übergeschnappt" - "Call me crazy, call me nuts"; ) and especially his comments when Germany scored the winning goal ("Aus dem Hintergrund müsste Rahn schießen, Rahn schießt - TOR, TOR, TOR!" - "Rahn has to shoot from the background, Rahn shoots - goal, goal, goal!"), when Turek saved one last time ("Turek, du bist ein Teufelskerl, Turek, du bist ein Fußballgott" - "Turek, you're a MagnificentBastard; Turek, you're a football god") and after the final whistle ("AUS! AUS! AUS! Das Spiel ist aus. Deutschland ist Weltmeister, schlägt Ungarn 3 zu 2!" - "Over! Over! Over! The game is over! Germany are World Champions, beat Hungary 3–2!") In 2003, a movie about the match was made in Germany, with the very same title: ''Das Wunder von Bern''.

Meanwhile in East Germany the government encouraged patriotism on its terms, and facilitated it by treating the Nazis as something alien to the Victorious German Working Class. This led to the odd situation that the uniforms of the East German armed forces resembled those of the Nazi Wehrmacht more than those of the West German ones. For a long time East Germany defined itself was the "better Germany" and still paid lip service to the stated goal of reunification. It was only some time after the building of the Wall that the government tried to foster a GDR identity completely separate from the rest of Germany, but as the events of 1989-1990 showed, that did not quite work. Since 1989 attitudes have relaxed somewhat. It helped that many people abroad actually turned out to be happy for the reunited Germans, and that the 2006 [[UsefulNotes/TheWorldCup World Cup]] in Germany showed that even German association football fans could be happy for their team and proud of their nation while still be welcoming hosts for the international teams and their fans. However, things started taking a turn towards the other direction again with the rise of a right wing populist party in the mid 2010s and ''Pegida'' demonstrations that are chock full of black red yellow flags (albeit some of them in a weird "Scandinavian cross" design that was invented by the 1944 coup attempt against Hitler and is now popular with the political right, just like black white red flags were in the past). In general, a German waving around a flag unrelated to a sports event is almost universally presumed to be politically on the right.

Meanwhile in East Germany the government encouraged patriotism on its terms, and facilitated it by treating the Nazis as something alien to the Victorious German Working Class. This led to the odd situation that the uniforms of the East German armed forces resembled those of the Nazi Wehrmacht more than those of the West German ones. For a long time East Germany defined itself was the "better Germany" and still paid lip service to the stated goal of reunification. It was only some time after the building of the Wall that the government tried to foster a GDR identity completely separate from the rest of Germany, but as the events of 1989-1990 showed, that did not quite work. Since 1989 attitudes have relaxed somewhat. It helped that many people abroad actually turned out to be happy for the reunited Germans, and that the 2006 [[TheWorldCup World Cup]] in Germany showed that even German association football fans could be happy for their team and proud of their nation while still be welcoming hosts for the international teams and their fans. However, things started taking a turn towards the other direction again with the rise of a right wing populist party in the mid 2010s and ''Pegida'' demonstrations that are chock full of black red yellow flags (albeit some of them in a weird "Scandinavian cross" design that was invented by the 1944 coup attempt against Hitler and is now popular with the political right, just like black white red flags were in the past). In general, a German waving around a flag unrelated to a sports event is almost universally presumed to be politically on the right.

Germany is crisscrossed by one of the densest railway networks in the world and UsefulNotes/DeutscheBahn carries two billion people a year in a country of a bit over 80 million people. Nonetheless Germans ''love'' complaining about Deutsche Bahn. Among the favorites are the unreliability of the trains being on time, the "unexpected weather" reactions that the Deutsche Bahn has to rain in spring and fall, heat in summer as well as snow in winter and to the announcements in the stations being harder to understand than morse code. So much so that some UsefulNotes/GermanHumor relies on simply saying something along the lines of "I took a train recently" as the German equivalent of "What's the deal with airline food".

Germany is crisscrossed by one of the densest railway networks in the world and UsefulNotes/DeutscheBahn carries two billion people a year in a country of a bit over 80 million people. Nonetheless Germans ''love'' complaining about Deutsche Bahn. Among the favorites are the unreliability of the trains being on time, the "unexpected weather" reactions that the Deutsche Bahn has to rain in spring and fall, heat in summer as well as snow in winter and to the announcements in the stations being harder to understand than morse code. So much so that some GermanHumor relies on simply saying something along the lines of "I took a train recently" as the German equivalent of "What's the deal with airline food".

Now, Ikea is of course a danish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (currently 46, in comparison: the entire US has 50) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens. It also seems like products sold in Germany are higher quality than those sold in America. While America IKEA seems to be almost-scrap wood from the moment it leaves the package this troper can attest to the legions of BILLY shelves making up the basis for storage of things in cellars or in attics for long ammounts of time.

Now, Ikea is of course a danish furniture shop, so what could it possibly do on a page about Germany? Well, [[GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff Germans ''love'' IKEA]]. It is one of the countries with the most IKEA shops (currently 46, in comparison: the entire US has 50) and the highest revenue (15% of IKEA's total turnover comes from Germany). The IKEA restaurant is in the Top 5 fastfood restaurants of Germany, Germany created a ''law'' called IKEA-Klausel [[note]]which allows the use of warranty when the client damaged his furniture by building it wrong ''if'' the building description is faulty itself[[/note]], a museum in Hamburg showed an exhibition about IKEA furniture and research about the "IKEA effect" [[note]]which describes that a person cares more about an object if they build it themselves[[/note]] is currently done on german citizens.

Arminius, son of Segimer, was a Germanic man from the tribe of the Cherusci. At the time he lived (around the beginning of our chronology), most of today's Germany (everything west of the Elbe river, to be precise) was part of UsefulNotes/TheRomanEmpire. Originally, he served as a ''ductor popularium'', a leader of Germanic auxiliaries, in [[UsefulNotes/TheGloryThatWasRome the Roman army]]. During this time, he acquired useful military skills, learned Latin, became a Roman citizen and even member of the knight class. For unknown reasons though, one day [[DefectorFromDecadence he had enough of civilization]], it seems. Around A.D. 8, Arminius had become one of the tribal leaders. At the same time, a Publius Quinctilius Varus was the Roman legate in the area where the Cherusci lived. If Arminius feared for his power, or whatever his reason was, he didn't show it, but instead kept the contact with Varus - hence knowing exactly what Varus was up to, while the Roman didn't suspect a thing. By A.D. 9, a Germanic uprising happened, and Varus took the legions XVII, XVIII and XIX to quell it. He got some warnings (by Arminius' father-in-law Segestes!), [[WhatAnIdiot but decided not to care about them.]] At the area of Teutoburg forest [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield (it still isn't completely clear where that was)]][[note]]There have been extensive excavations in Kalkriese near Osnabrück in Southern Lower Saxony that point to a battle happening there somewhere around the right time (by means of coins fund) and in roughly the right size[[/note]], the three legions were [[CurbStompBattle defeated and utterly annihilated]][[note]Current theory assumes a running battle of three days or more happening along the eastern side of the Wiehen with the Germanics hitting the Roman column again and again with a final battle at Kalkriese before the Romans could leave the heavily-forested areas and escape into the more open Norddeutsche Tiefebene[[/note]] by the Germanics led by Arminius. [[RedemptionEqualsDeath Varus took his own life after losing the battle.]] Emperor Augustus would shout his famous "Vare, Vare, redde legiones!" (Varus, Varus, give me back my legions) when the message came to Rome. The German uprising spread, and the Romans had to give up the whole area between Rhine and Elbe.

Arminius, son of Segimer, was a Germanic man from the tribe of the Cherusci. At the time he lived (around the beginning of our chronology), most of today's Germany (everything west of the Elbe river, to be precise) was part of UsefulNotes/TheRomanEmpire. Originally, he served as a ''ductor popularium'', a leader of Germanic auxiliaries, in [[UsefulNotes/TheGloryThatWasRome the Roman army]]. During this time, he acquired useful military skills, learned Latin, became a Roman citizen and even member of the knight class. For unknown reasons though, one day [[DefectorFromDecadence he had enough of civilization]], it seems. Around A.D. 8, Arminius had become one of the tribal leaders. At the same time, a Publius Quinctilius Varus was the Roman legate in the area where the Cherusci lived. If Arminius feared for his power, or whatever his reason was, he didn't show it, but instead kept the contact with Varus - hence knowing exactly what Varus was up to, while the Roman didn't suspect a thing. By A.D. 9, a Germanic uprising happened, and Varus took the legions XVII, XVIII and XIX to quell it. He got some warnings (by Arminius' father-in-law Segestes!), [[WhatAnIdiot but decided not to care about them.]] At the area of Teutoburg forest [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield (it still isn't completely clear where that was)]], the three legions were [[CurbStompBattle defeated and utterly annihilated]] by the Germanics led by Arminius. [[RedemptionEqualsDeath Varus took his own life after losing the battle.]] Emperor Augustus would shout his famous "Vare, Vare, redde legiones!" (Varus, Varus, give me back my legions) when the message came to Rome. The German uprising spread, and the Romans had to give up the whole area between Rhine and Elbe.