History Quotes / PortingDisaster

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVI The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo's]] antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''
-->--'''Robert Kosarko''' [[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/ultima/ultima8.htm on]] ''VideoGame/UltimaVII''

->''"...it was the ''HD Collection'' that truly cemented my belief that {{Creator/Konami}} was completely and utterly beyond human reason. I mean, it had one job: Re-release ''VideoGame/SilentHill2''--one of the greatest games ever made--in HD, along with the almost-as-brilliant ''VideoGame/SilentHill3''. That's it.\\\
''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis One. Fuckin'. Job.]]''\\\
But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami understood shame.)"''
-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynl4sIFazmM#t=256 "Konami is Konami"]]

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo's]] antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami [[TheyJustDidntCare understood shame]].)"''

->VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' deserves a place on this list for [[TheyJustDidntCare the sheer bloody horror show that was the PC version of the game]]. While running OK on consoles, ''Arkham Knight'''s simultaneous PC launch was a disaster. The game ran like shit on an unforgivable number of systems, with skipping and framerate dips that ranged from playable for some to downright unbearable for others. I had one of the better experiences, and it was still fucking atrocious. Absolutely unacceptable from a big-name publisher.''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}} Jim Sterling]]''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nd6I9W_z6Y Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2015]]''

->''"I hear the Super Nintendo version didn't have a countdown timer, and actually explained the plot a bit better, but like I said, I played the [[SegaGenesis Genesis]] version as a kid, so here I am!"''

->''"It was the ''HD Collection'' that truly cemented by belief that {{Creator/Konami}} was completely and utterly beyond human reason. I mean, it had one job: Re-release ''VideoGame/SilentHill2''--one of the greatest games ever made--in HD along with the almost-as-brilliant ''VideoGame/SilentHill3''. That's it.\\\

-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynl4sIFazmM#t=609 "Konami is Konami"]]

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami [[TheyJustDidntCare understood shame]]."''

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly expressed his shock that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami [[TheyJustDidntCare understood shame]]."''

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on [[TheyJustDidntCare ONE]] console."''

->''"And now for the UsefulNotes/{{Amstrad|CPC}} version. What can I say? Words such as travesty leap to mind. Surely there's some mistake. This isn't the ''VideoGame/OutRun'' we know and love. This is something else, something indefinable, something which wants to make you scream and bang your head against the nearest solid object, something you will regret spending your money on."''

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''

->''"I hear the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo]] version didn't have a countdown timer, and actually explained the plot a bit better, but like I said, I played the [[SegaGenesis Genesis]] version as a kid, so here I am!"''

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away]] from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away]] from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[TheyJustDidntCare It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]"''

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console."''

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been specifically trying to move away from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[TheyJustDidntCare It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]"''

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking '''lost''' most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console."''

->If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been specifically trying to move away from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[TheyJustDidntCare It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]

->I hear the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo]] version didn't have a countdown timer, and actually explained the plot a bit better, but like I said, I played the [[SegaGenesis Genesis]] version as a kid, so here I am!

->And now for the UsefulNotes/{{Amstrad|CPC}} version. What can I say? Words such as travesty leap to mind. Surely there's some mistake. This isn't the ''VideoGame/OutRun'' we know and love. This is something else, something indefinable, something which wants to make you scream and bang your head against the nearest solid object, something you will regret spending your money on.

->''"In ''VideoGame/MetalGear'', you must help special agent Solid Snake infiltrate an enemy outpost and disable a supercomputer. (There's a rumor that in the Japanese version of this game, you're actually trying to destroy a big robot. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Weird]].)"''
-->-- [[http://retro.ign.com/articles/882/882103p1.html IGN's]] "Games of 1988"

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Limitations of the hardware forced the game to become much more linear with event flags, and many items are inexplicably moved to the dungeons. Most damningly, though, is the severe damage that Nintendo's censorship policies resulted in for the game's story and play. Monsters, for some unexplained reason, [[NoBodyLeftBehind explode in a ball of fire]] rather than leaving bodies behind; presumably suicide-bombers are somehow more family friendly. Rather than ritual murders, you investigate [[NeverSayDie kidnappings]]. Various words including most notably the word 'kill' are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been specifically trying to move away from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[TheyJustDidntCare It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]"''

->''"I hear the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo]] version didn't have a countdown timer, and actually explained the plot a bit better, but like I said, I played the [[SegaGenesis Genesis]] version as a kid, so here I am!"''

->''"And now for the UsefulNotes/{{Amstrad|CPC}} version. What can I say? Words such as travesty leap to mind. Surely there's some mistake. This isn't the ''VideoGame/OutRun'' we know and love. This is something else, something indefinable, something which wants to make you scream and bang your head against the nearest solid object, something you will regret spending your money on."''

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]] was pushing the capabilities of the SuperNintendo's antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Limitations of the hardware forced the game to become much more linear with event flags, and many items are inexplicably moved to the dungeons. Most damningly, though, is the severe damage that Nintendo's censorship policies resulted in for the game's story and play. Monsters, for some unexplained reason, [[NoBodyLeftBehind explode in a ball of fire]] rather than leaving bodies behind; presumably suicide-bombers are somehow more family friendly. Rather than ritual murders, you investigate [[NeverSayDie kidnappings]]. Various words including most notably the word 'kill' are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been specifically trying to move away from since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. [[EpicFail It doesn't even have SNES mouse support.]]"''

->''"And now for the {{Amstrad|CPC}} version. What can I say? Words such as travesty leap to mind. Surely there's some mistake. This isn't the ''VideoGame/OutRun'' we know and love. This is something else, something indefinable, something which wants to make you scream and bang your head against the nearest solid object, something you will regret spending your money on."''

->''"In ''VideoGame/ MetalGear'', you must help special agent Solid Snake infiltrate an enemy outpost and disable a supercomputer. (There's a rumor that in the Japanese version of this game, you're actually trying to destroy a big robot. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Weird]].)"''

->''"In ''MetalGear'', you must help special agent Solid Snake infiltrate an enemy outpost and disable a supercomputer. (There's a rumor that in the Japanese version of this game, you're actually trying to destroy a big robot. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Weird]].)"''

-->-- '''[[AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', "Wolverine: Adamantium Rage"