History Quotes / PortingDisaster

20th Oct '17 4:28:40 AM nm3youtube
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-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk review of ''VideoGame/HumanKillingMachine''

to:

-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk review review]] of ''VideoGame/HumanKillingMachine''
27th Sep '17 10:37:27 PM jormis29
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-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', review of ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk Human Killing Machine]]''

to:

-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', review of ''[[http://www.[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk Human Killing Machine]]''
review of ''VideoGame/HumanKillingMachine''
14th Sep '17 1:12:30 AM Kadorhal
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->''"...it was the ''[Franchise/SilentHill] HD Collection'' that truly cemented my belief that {{Creator/Konami}} was completely and utterly beyond human reason. I mean, it had one job: Re-release ''VideoGame/SilentHill2'' -- one of the greatest games ever made -- in HD, along with the almost-as-brilliant ''VideoGame/SilentHill3''. That's it. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis One. Fuckin'. Job.]]'' But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful."''
-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''' again, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynl4sIFazmM#t=256 "Konami is Konami"]]
18th Aug '17 1:10:17 AM lalalei2001
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-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}} Jim Sterling]]''', again, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nd6I9W_z6Y Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2015]]''

to:

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}} Jim Sterling]]''', again, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nd6I9W_z6Y Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2015]]''
18th Aug '17 1:09:56 AM lalalei2001
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->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVI The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo's]] antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''
-->--'''Robert Kosarko''' [[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/ultima/ultima8.htm on]] ''VideoGame/UltimaVII''



->''"...it was the ''HD Collection'' that truly cemented my belief that {{Creator/Konami}} was completely and utterly beyond human reason. I mean, it had one job: Re-release ''VideoGame/SilentHill2''--one of the greatest games ever made--in HD, along with the almost-as-brilliant ''VideoGame/SilentHill3''. That's it.\\\
''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis One. Fuckin'. Job.]]''\\\
But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami understood shame.)"''
-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynl4sIFazmM#t=256 "Konami is Konami"]]
18th Aug '17 12:50:45 AM nm3youtube
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->''It's kind of like ''VideoGame/PacMan'', only with [[MostAnnoyingSound grating sound effects]], horrible visuals, clunky-arse gameplay, and a smaller map. So basically, it's... not ''Pac-Man''.''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/PlanetDolan Danger Dolan]]''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0yxVucGngo on]] the infamous UsefulNotes/Atari2600 port of ''VideoGame/PacMan''
13th Jul '17 12:00:05 PM nm3youtube
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->''Tiertex were infamous for releasing very bad ports of arcade games, and you'll never guess what - ''[[VideoGame/StreetFighterI Street Fighter]]'' was no exception. This is the UsefulNotes/AtariST version of ''Street Fighter''. Notice that the graphics have been redrawn and now look crap. Notice that it now jerks horribly. Notice that when Ryu does a flying kick, he hovers in the air for a fraction of a second for no discernible reason. Notice the horrible splodges that appear when a character is hit. Notice that I've deliberately left the sound off because there are no sound effects, just a really annoying tune playing the whole time. What you can't notice is that all the special moves have been left out; [[TakeOurWordForIt you'll just have to take my word for that]].''
-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', review of ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk Human Killing Machine]]''
14th Mar '17 3:31:09 PM Kadorhal
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->'''''2) Thou shalt make sure your game actually works.'''\\
\\
We're ashamed to even have to include this. This is like having to ask UsefulNotes/McDonalds to [[CaptainObvious cook the burger before they serve it to you]], or having to remind your dentist not to videotape himself slapping you in the face with his penis while you're under. It's the sort of thing you'd feel ridiculous saying.\\
\\
Yet, [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough here we are]], telling the game industry to please only sell us games'' that function.
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_the-7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey]]''
27th Dec '16 5:17:05 AM ShinyAegislash
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->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo's]] antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''

to:

->''"If ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVi ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVI The False Prophet]]'' was pushing the capabilities of the [[SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem Super Nintendo's]] antiquated processor and 128kb of memory, ''The Black Gate'' shoved them off a cliff...Various words including most notably the word "kill" are gone from the dialogue, as well as nearly everything that could be construed as an adult situation, resulting in a horribly [[{{Bowdlerization}} bowdlerized]] game which demands no thought or moral choice and becomes just another consequence-free, mindless hack-and-slasher of the sort that Richard Garriott has been [[InNameOnly specifically trying to move away from]] since ''[[VideoGame/UltimaIV Quest of the Avatar]]''. There's really no reason to play this game at all. Please don't. It doesn't even have SNES mouse support."''
30th Jul '16 7:03:20 PM Ferot_Dreadnaught
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But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami [[TheyJustDidntCare understood shame]].)"''

to:

But if any company can [[EpicFail screw up the easiest job in the world spectacularly]], it's Ko-fuckin'-nami. The ''HD Collection'' was a total disaster. Audio bugs littered the experience. Fog effects were removed to [[ObviousBeta expose unfinished environments]]. And they were working off unfinished code. Because Konami had fucking'' '''lost''' ''most of the original! They had to issue a Day 1 patch for a game that was ''a fuckin' decade'' old! A patch that barely fixed the thing. And it still only patched on ONE console. ''Silent Hill''[='s=] art director Masahiro Ito embarrassingly [[CreatorBacklash expressed his shock]] that Konami released the fucking thing. Bloody shameful. (If Konami [[TheyJustDidntCare understood shame]].shame.)"''



->VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' deserves a place on this list for [[TheyJustDidntCare the sheer bloody horror show that was the PC version of the game]]. While running OK on consoles, ''Arkham Knight'''s simultaneous PC launch was a disaster. The game ran like shit on an unforgivable number of systems, with skipping and framerate dips that ranged from playable for some to downright unbearable for others. I had one of the better experiences, and it was still fucking atrocious. Absolutely unacceptable from a big-name publisher.''

to:

->VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' deserves a place on this list for [[TheyJustDidntCare the sheer bloody horror show that was the PC version of the game]].game. While running OK on consoles, ''Arkham Knight'''s simultaneous PC launch was a disaster. The game ran like shit on an unforgivable number of systems, with skipping and framerate dips that ranged from playable for some to downright unbearable for others. I had one of the better experiences, and it was still fucking atrocious. Absolutely unacceptable from a big-name publisher.''
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