->''"I hear the Super Nintendo version didn't have a countdown timer, and actually explained the plot a bit better, but like I said, I played the [[UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis Genesis]] version as a kid, so here I am!"''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', "Wolverine: Adamantium Rage"

->''"And now for the UsefulNotes/{{Amstrad|CPC}} version. What can I say? Words such as travesty leap to mind. Surely there's some mistake. This isn't the ''VideoGame/OutRun'' we know and love. This is something else, something indefinable, something which wants to make you scream and [[{{Headdesk}} bang your head against the nearest solid object]], something you will regret spending your money on."''
-->-- ''Computer + Video Games'' magazine

->''"Do I need to explain why the game sucked? It's called ''Santa Claus Saves the Earth'', and it looked like that, for fuck sake! So do you know what is [[SarcasmMode even better than that]]? Oh, I dunno, compressing it, zooming it in, making the controls stiffer, the visuals shittier, the music even more unbearable, the performance worse, and making it portable! [[SarcasmMode Yay.]]"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}}''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP7EGiaa6W0 on the GBA port of]] ''Santa Claus Saves the Earth''.

->VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' deserves a place on this list for the sheer bloody horror show that was the PC version of the game. While running OK on consoles, ''Arkham Knight'''s simultaneous PC launch was a disaster. The game ran like shit on an unforgivable number of systems, with skipping and framerate dips that ranged from playable for some to downright unbearable for others. I had one of the better experiences, and it was still fucking atrocious. Absolutely unacceptable from a big-name publisher.''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}} Jim Sterling]]''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nd6I9W_z6Y Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2015]]''

->'''''2) Thou shalt make sure your game actually works.'''\\
We're ashamed to even have to include this. This is like having to ask UsefulNotes/McDonalds to [[CaptainObvious cook the burger before they serve it to you]], or having to remind your dentist not to videotape himself slapping you in the face with his penis while you're under. It's the sort of thing you'd feel ridiculous saying.\\
Yet, [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough here we are]], telling the game industry to please only sell us games'' that function.
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_16196_the-7-commandments-all-video-games-should-obey.html The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey]]''

->''Tiertex were infamous for releasing very bad ports of arcade games, and you'll never guess what - ''[[VideoGame/StreetFighterI Street Fighter]]'' was no exception. This is the UsefulNotes/AtariST version of ''Street Fighter''. Notice that the graphics have been redrawn and now look crap. Notice that it now jerks horribly. Notice that when Ryu does a flying kick, he hovers in the air for a fraction of a second for no discernible reason. Notice the horrible splodges that appear when a character is hit. Notice that I've deliberately left the sound off because there are no sound effects, just a really annoying tune playing the whole time. What you can't notice is that all the special moves have been left out; [[TakeOurWordForIt you'll just have to take my word for that]].''
-->--'''WebVideo/StuartAshen''', review of ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUkK14bHDk Human Killing Machine]]''

->''It's kind of like ''VideoGame/PacMan'', only with [[MostAnnoyingSound grating sound effects]], horrible visuals, clunky-arse gameplay, and a smaller map. So basically, it's... not ''Pac-Man''.''
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/PlanetDolan Danger Dolan]]''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0yxVucGngo on]] the infamous UsefulNotes/Atari2600 port of ''VideoGame/PacMan''