History Quotes / KangarooCourt

->''"I will act as your impartial judge. Though you disgust me beyond measure!"''
-->-- '''Intergalactic Judge''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

-->-- ''Literature/{{Candide}}'' (book by Creator/LillianHellman)

----

-->-- '''Lord Karamozov''', ''Warhammer40000''

-->-- ''{{Candide}}'' (book by Creator/LillianHellman)

-->-- ''Comicbook/{{Superman}}'' #349, "The Turnabout Trap!"

-->--''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries''

-->-- ''Film/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet''

'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well youfind a judge who won't need any pressure put on him.\\

->'''[[Creator/WoodyAllen Fielding Mellish]]:'''"I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham!"\\

->''"I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham!"''\\

->'''Witness:''' I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.\\
'''[[Creator/WoodyAllen Fielding Mellish]]:''' Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?\\

-->-- '''Fielding Mellish''', ''Film/{{Bananas}}''

'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well not always. Sometimes they're so obviously trying for a conviction, that the jury acquits out of sheet bloody-mindedness.

'''The Jooker:''' Guilty!

->'''Two-Face:''' The prosecutor is ready, likewise our [[BlatantLies fair and impartial jury.]]\\

'''Killer Croc:''' [[BrickJoke Hit him with a rock!!!]]

-->-- ''{{Candide}}'' (book by Lillian Hellman)

-->-- '''GoreVidal''' on the {{red scare}}

-->-- '''Judith Draper''', ''ThirdRockFromTheSun''

-->-- '''Bowser''', ''TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''

->''"Wait...Wait a minute, hold on! Wait a minute. So there was no statement by the defense, no attorney appointed to the defense, no witnesses called, no evidence presented, nobody even bothered to notice that we literally got here four minutes and thirty-four seconds before we were arrested, and ''there wasn't even a jury?'' This is more rigged than even Saddam Hussein's trial!''"

->''"The justice is swift in the court of miracles\\

Because it's the sentence that's really the fun!"''

//->'''Witness:''' I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.\\

-->--''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "The Drumhead"

-> ''"The verdict is guilty, the sentence is death. Let the trial begin."''
-->--'''Cardassian Judge''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''

->''"I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham!"''

->'''Witness:''' I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.\\
'''[[Creator/WoodyAllen Fielding Mellish]]:''' Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?\\
'''Court Clerk:''' "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."\\
'''Fielding Mellish:''' Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.
-->-- ''Film/{{Bananas}}''

->''"The offender Miles O'Brien, human, officer of [[TheFederation the Federation]]'s Starfleet, has been found guilty of aiding and abetting seditious acts against [[TheEmpire the state]]. The sentence is death; let the trial begin."''
-->-- '''[[HangingJudge Chief Archon Makbar]]''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine''

'''X''': ''What'' truth? ''Who's'' truth? You think these men will even hear it?\\\\

->'''Mulder:''' I'm putting the truth on trial.
->'''X''': ''What'' truth? ''Who's'' truth? You think these men will even hear it?
->'''Mulder:''' They're afraid to hear it.
->'''X:''' ''(spiteful)'' They're not afraid. They have too much power to be afraid. You're going to learn that, just like I did. You'll die learning it.

-->-- '''[[Creator/WoodyAllen Fielding Mellish]]''', ''{{Bananas}}''

-->-- ''General Burkhalter, HogansHeroes''

->''"It is as if twenty years after [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanRevolution Yorktown]] somebody in power at Washington found it necessary for the safety of the State to send to the scaffold UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson, [[UsefulNotes/JamesMadison Madison]], UsefulNotes/JohnAdams, [[UsefulNotes/AlexanderHamilton Hamilton]], [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Jay Jay]] and most of their associates. The charge against them would be that they conspired to hand over the United States to [[TheHouseOfHanover George III]]."''

-->-- ''[[{{Blackadder}} Blackadder Goes Forth]]''

'''Mayor''': Simple -- I say what happened, then you say what happened, and then I decide who's right. That's why we call it "justice," because it's just us.

->''"You're on trial today for the crimes that you've committed. We're gonna prove ya guilty! Just try and get acquitted."