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1[[foldercontrol]]
2[[folder:Comic Books]]
3->''"Yer a fine soundin' bunch o' jailbird lawyers. You all get your chance at the trial... First thing in the morning... And then we'll shoot you!"''
4-->-- ''ComicBook/TheFurtherAdventuresOfIndianaJones'' #23
5
6->''You have been brought to New Krypton to face criminal charges. Namely, the murder of some fifteen Kryptonians during your raid of our Earthbound city some months ago. Casualties including our leader, Zor-El. Tomorrow, you will be put on trial. You will be found guilty. And you will be sentenced.''
7-->-- '''Alura In-Ze''', ''ComicBook/TheHuntForReactron''
8
9->'''Superwoman:''' When next we '''[[BoldInflation meet]]''', Superman, it'll be in "'''court'''"!\
10'''Superman:''' ''(thinking)'' Yes...you, me, and the '''kangaroos'''!
11-->-- ''Comicbook/{{Superman}}'' #349, "The Turnabout Trap!" (1980)
12[[/folder]]
13
14[[folder:Fan Works]]
15->'''Judge:''' Court is now in session!\
16'''Pianta:''' Mario is guilty.\
17'''Judge:''' Court adjourned!\
18'''Mario:''' Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
19-->-- ''Fanfic/BlooperMarioSunshine''
20
21->''"The rebellion was over and what could be laughably called their trial was over even quicker."''
22-->-- '''[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]]''', ''Fanfic/DaughterOfFireAndSteel''
23
24->''"Well, fine. If that's the way you're going to be, I'll save you the trouble of finishing your kangaroo court's vote. Effective immediately-- I quit."''
25-->-- '''ComicBook/CarolDanvers''', ''Fanfic/APrizeForThreeEmpires''
26[[/folder]]
27
28[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
29->''♫ "Justice is swift in the court of miracles;\
30I am the lawyers and judge all in one!\
31We like to get the trial over with quickly\
32Because it's the sentence that's really the fun!"♫ ''
33-->-- '''Clopin''', ''WesternAnimation/{{The Hunchback of Notre Dame|Disney}}'', "The Court Of Miracles"
34
35->''"Spare me this mockery of justice!"''
36-->-- '''Kranix''', ''WesternAnimation/TheTransformersTheMovie''
37[[/folder]]
38
39[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
40->'''[[Creator/WoodyAllen Fielding Mellish]]:''' I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham!\
41'''Witness:''' I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.\
42'''Fielding Mellish:''' Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?\
43'''Court Clerk:''' "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."\
44'''Fielding Mellish:''' Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.
45-->-- ''Film/{{Bananas}}''
46
47->''"I shouldn't even be here. My trial was a real joke. Those fucking banana republic cops."''
48-->--'''Collier''', ''Film/TheBigDollHouse''
49
50->'''Jim Gordon:''' No lawyer, no witnesses? What sort of due process is this?\
51'''Dr. Jonathan Crane:''' Your guilt has been determined. This is merely a sentencing hearing.
52-->--''Film/TheDarkKnightRises''
53
54->''"I had reached my verdict on the Feldenstein case before I ever came into the courtroom. I would have found him guilty whatever the evidence. It was not a trial at all. It was a sacrificial ritual in which Feldenstein the Jew was the helpless victim."''
55-->-- '''Ernst Janning''', ''Film/JudgmentAtNuremberg''
56
57->'''Beadle Bamford:''' Thank you, Your Honor. Just the sentence we wanted.\
58'''Judge Turpin:''' Was he guilty?\
59'''Beadle Bamford:''' Well, if he wasn't, he's surely done ''something'' to warrant a hanging.\
60'''Judge Turpin:''' What man has not?
61-->-- ''Film/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet'', about [[WouldHurtAChild the hanging of an eight-year-old boy]].
62[[/folder]]
63
64[[folder:Literature]]
65->''"Sentence first! Verdict afterwards."''
66-->-- '''The Queen of Hearts''', ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''
67
68->''Fury said to a mouse,\
69That he met in the house,\
70"Let us both go to law: I will prosecute you.\
71--Come, I'll take no denial;\
72We must have a trial:\
73For really this morning I've nothing to do."\
74Said the mouse to the cur,\
75"Such a trial, dear Sir,\
76With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath."\
77"I'll be judge, I'll be jury,"\
78Said cunning old Fury,\
79"I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death."
80-->--'''Mouse''', ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland''
81
82->''"Clevinger had a mind, and Lieutenant Scheisskopf had noticed that people with minds tended to get pretty smart at times. Such men were dangerous, and even the new cadet officers whom Clevinger had helped into office were eager to give damning testimony against him. The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with."''
83-->-- ''Literature/CatchTwentyTwo''
84
85->'''Faithful:''' May I speak a few words in my own defence?\
86'''Judge Hate-Good:''' Sirrah! Sirrah! thou deservest to live no longer, but to be slain immediately upon the place; yet, that all men may see our gentleness toward thee, let us hear what thou, vile runagate, hast to say.
87-->-- ''Literature/ThePilgrimsProgress''
88
89->''' Defendant: ''' I have a statement to make, Your Honor.\
90'''Judge Jones:''' Oh, all right. Make your goddamn statement and then plead guilty, you heathen.\
91'''Defendant:''' [[BlatantLies I ain't guilty!]]\
92'''Judge Jones:''' ''(to the jury)'' How do you find?\
93'''Foreman of the Jury:''' Guilty.\
94'''Judge Jones:''' Hang the son of a bitch!
95-->-- ''Revenge of the Mountain Man''
96
97->''"Atticus had used every tool available to free men [[ClearTheirName to save Tom Robinson]], but in [[ConvictedByPublicOpinion the secret courts of men's hearts]] Atticus had no case."''
98-->--''Literature/ToKillAMockingbird''
99[[/folder]]
100
101[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
102->''"We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict."''
103-->-- '''Judith Draper''', ''Series/ThirdRockFromTheSun''
104
105->'''Captain Darling:''' May it please the court, as this is clearly an OpenAndShutCase, I beg leave to bring a private prosecution against the defence counsel for wasting the court's time.\
106'''Judge Melchett:''' Granted. The defence counsel is fined fifty pounds for turning up.
107-->-- ''[[Series/{{Blackadder}} Blackadder Goes Forth]]''
108
109->''"I will see to it that you receive a fair trial, after which you will be shot."''
110-->-- '''General Burkhalter''', ''Series/HogansHeroes''
111
112->'''Q''': I must caution you that legal trickery is not permitted. This is a court of fact.\
113'''Picard''': Court of ''fact''? We humans know our past, even when we're ashamed of it! I recognize this court system as the one that agreed with that line from Shakespeare, "[[Theatre/HenryVIII Kill all the lawyers]]"--\
114'''Q''': Which was done.\
115'''Picard''': --which led to the rule of "''guilty until proven innocent''"!\
116'''Q''': Of course! Bringing the innocent to trial would be unfair!
117-->-- ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS1E1EncounterAtFarpoint Encounter at Farpoint]]"
118
119->''"Soldiers, you will press those triggers if this criminal answers with any word other than 'guilty'."''
120-->-- '''Q''', ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS1E1EncounterAtFarpoint Encounter at Farpoint]]"
121
122->''"Five hundred years ago, military officers would upend a drum on the battlefield. They'd sit at it and dispense summary justice. Decisions were quick, punishments severe; appeals denied. Those who came to a drumhead were doomed."''
123-->--'''Captain Jean-Luc Picard''', ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "[[Recap/StarTrekTheNextGenerationS4E21TheDrumhead The Drumhead]]"
124
125->''"The offender Miles O'Brien, human, officer of [[TheFederation the Federation]]'s Starfleet, has been found guilty of aiding and abetting seditious acts against [[TheEmpire the state]]. The sentence is death; let the trial begin."''
126-->-- '''[[HangingJudge Chief Archon Makbar]]''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "[[Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS02E25Tribunal Tribunal]]"
127
128->'''Mulder:''' I'm putting the truth on trial.\
129'''X:''' ''What'' truth? ''Whose'' truth? You think these men will even hear it?\
130'''Mulder:''' They're afraid to hear it.\
131'''X:''' ''(spiteful)'' They're not afraid. They have too much power to be afraid. You're going to learn that, just like I did. You'll die learning it.
132-->--''Series/TheXFiles'', "The Truth"
133
134->'''Hacker:''' I want to trace the culprit.\
135'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes, Prime Minister.\
136'''Hacker:''' And I want a prosecution.\
137'''Sir Humphrey:''' Yes, Prime Minister.\
138'''Hacker:''' And I want a conviction.\
139'''Sir Humphrey:''' ''(pause)'' We can try and trace the culprit, we can prosecute, but under the present political system, there are problems about the government actually guaranteeing a conviction.\
140'''Hacker:''' A little drinkie with the judge?\
141'''Sir Humphrey:''' It's unthinkable. There is no way any pressure can be placed on a British judge.\
142'''Hacker:''' Well how does one secure a conviction?\
143'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well simple, you find a judge who won't need any pressure put on him.\
144'''Hacker:''' Oh.\
145'''Sir Humphrey:''' A quiet word with the Lord Chancellor, find a judge who's hoping to be made a Lord of Appeal, and then leave justice to take her own impartial and majestic course.\
146'''Hacker:''' And that does the trick?\
147'''Sir Humphrey:''' Well not always. Sometimes they're so obviously trying for a conviction, that the jury acquits out of sheer bloody-mindedness.
148-->--''Series/YesPrimeMinister''
149[[/folder]]
150
151[[folder:Music]]
152->''I know I'm losing my appeal\
153Cause I was hung, drawn and quartered before my trial\
154And every single thing that's not real\
155Was put before the jury without the privilege of denial\
156Every single word that I said\
157Was written down and then misread\
158Now I find myself alone\
159I'm accused of being someone that I do not even know''
160-->-- '''Music/{{Adorable}}''', "Kangaroo Court"
161
162->''That's the night when the lights went out in Georgia''\
163''That's the night when they hung an innocent man''\
164''So don't trust your soul to some backwoods Southern lawyer''\
165'''Cause the judge of the town's got bloodstains on his hands''
166-->-- '''Music/VickiLawrence''', "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia"
167
168->'''Judge Dre:''' The jury has found you guilty of being a redneck, white-bread, chickenshit motherfucker.\
169'''Cop:''' Wait, that's a lie! That's a goddamn lie!\
170'''Judge Dre:''' Get him out of here!\
171'''Cop:''' I want justice!
172-->-- '''Music/{{NWA}}''', "Fuck Tha Police"
173[[/folder]]
174
175[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
176->''"A plea of innocence in my court is guilty of wasting my time! Guilty!"''
177-->-- '''Lord Karamozov''', ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000''
178[[/folder]]
179
180[[folder:Theatre]]
181->'''Lawyer''' ''(to Candide)'': You are charged with communication with the Devil.\
182'''Very Old Inquisitor:''' Oh, come on. You always take too long. Guilty.\
183'''Lawyer:''' Just a minute, sir. We must observe certain legal, civil, and moral laws as written into the code of Western liberalism. ''(to Candide)'' Death by hanging.
184-->-- ''Theatre/{{Candide}}'' (book by Creator/LillianHellman) %%"book" in this case meaning "the non-singing part of the musical"
185
186->''"In an ordinary crime, how does one defend the accused? One calls up witnesses to prove his innocence. But witchcraft is'' ipso facto, ''on its face and by its nature, an invisible crime, is it not? Therefore, who may possibly be witness to it? The witch and the victim. None other. Now we cannot hope the witch will accuse herself; granted? Therefore, we must rely upon her victims - and they do testify, the children certainly do testify. As for the witches, none will deny that we are most eager for all their confessions. Therefore, what is left for a lawyer to bring out?"''
187-->-- '''Judge Danforth''', ''Theatre/TheCrucible''
188[[/folder]]
189
190[[folder:Video Games]]
191->''"The Tamriel legal system has its basis in the civilized, reasonable credo uttered by the prophet Marukh in the first era: "All are guilty until they have proven themselves innocent." Were truer word ever spoke?"''
192-->-- '''[[https://www.project-tamriel.com/viewtopic.php?t=125 Anchivius, M.Z.F.]]''', in the book ''[[Literature/TheElderScrollsInUniverseBooks Legal Basics]]'' from ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIDaggerfall''
193
194->''"The trial of the eco-extremist group "Avalanche"! Terrorists who conspire with Wutai against Midgar! Your guilt is undeniable! Your punishment, '''death!'''"''
195-->-- '''Heidegger''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIIRemake''
196
197->''"Well, at best, they will put you on trial - or what seems to be one, then execute you. At worst, they will dispense with the courtroom mockery and execute you as soon as you step within the gate. And when I say "execute," do not think it will be [[OffWithHisHead one clean chop of a headsman's axe]]... Luskans have all sorts of [[CruelAndUnusualDeath inventive ways for executing prisoners]] that is not best to describe on a full stomach."''
198-->-- '''Sand''', ''VideoGame/NeverwinterNights2''
199[[/folder]]
200
201[[folder:Visual Novels]]
202->'''Nahyuta:''' Pitiful servant of a lost cause, renounce your revolution and submit yourself to the judgment of this court. In her infinite mercy, our Holy Mother may yet see fit to save your soul.\
203'''Lawyer:''' ''[laughs]'' As if I'd give in! What's the point of a court that only doles out guilty verdicts?
204-->-- ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneySpiritOfJustice'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_Etav-25gM prologue anime]]
205[[/folder]]
206
207[[folder:Webcomics]]
208->''"You will play the role of the prosecuting attorney. On Alternia, there is no such thing as a defense attorney, or a defense. In a courtblock, the word defense itself is offensive."''
209-->-- '''Terezi Pyrope''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''
210
211->''"Before the full investigation is underway, a legislacerator will always have a chief suspect in mind. The one she will hold guilty until proven otherwise, a process customarily taking place after the execution."''
212-->-- '''Terezi Pyrope''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''
213
214->'''Jones:''' Our clients plead guilty, your honor.\
215'''Roy:''' What?!? No, we don't!\
216'''Jones:''' Yes you do. Listen, here there are two types of accused: those who plead guilty, and those who piss off the judge with a time-consuming trial before being found guilty.\
217'''Rodriguez:''' The conviction rate is [[BrokeTheRatingScale 114%]], [[LampshadeHanging and that doesn't even make sense!]]\
218'''Roy:''' ...Fine. We plead guilty.
219-->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''
220
221->'''Mayor:''' Court Stenographer, please stenography that we're starting the trial now.\
222'''Public Defender:''' There ''isn't'' a stenographer, your honor. Or a bailiff. Or a prosecutor. Or ''any'' of the personnel required to have a legal trial in this state, or any known democracy for that m-\
223'''Mayor:''' You are on ''fire'' today, counsellor! Accused, you're lucky to have this guy!
224-->--''Webcomic/TeamFortress2, Unhappy Returns''
225[[/folder]]
226
227[[folder:Web Original]]
228->''"Wait... Wait a minute, hold on! Wait a minute. So, there was no statement by the defense, no attorney appointed to the defense, no witnesses called, no evidence presented, nobody even bothered to notice that we literally got here four minutes and thirty-four seconds before we were arrested, and ''there wasn't even a jury''? This is more rigged than UsefulNotes/SaddamHussein's trial!''"
229-->-- '''LetsPlay/{{Chuggaaconroy}}''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine''
230
231->''"Oh and by the way, the "trial" the Autobots are given is pretty screwed up. Once the Autobots arrive the judge tells them what they're accused of and then immediately sentences them. Shouldn't the Autobots get a chance to defend themselves?"''
232-->-- '''Website/TFWikiDotNet''' on "[[WesternAnimation/TheTransformers Megatron's Master Plan Part 1]]"
233[[/folder]]
234
235[[folder:Western Animation]]
236->'''Mayor:''' Evidence? That's not how our court system works.\
237'''Aang:''' Then how can I prove my innocence?\
238'''Mayor:''' Simple -- I say what happened, then you say what happened, and then I decide who's right. That's why we call it "justice," because it's ''just us''.
239-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''
240
241->'''Scarface:''' The prosecutor is ready, likewise our [[BlatantLies fair and impartial jury.]]\
242'''Mad Hatter:''' Hang him.\
243'''Harley Quinn:''' Shoot him!\
244'''Killer Croc:''' [[BrickJoke Hit him with a rock!!!]]\
245'''Scarface:''' And now, all rise for the [[BlatantLies most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful]] Judge Joker!\
246'''The Joker:''' Guilty!
247-->--''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'', "[[Recap/TheAdventuresOfBatmanAndRobinE3Trial Trial]]"
248
249->'''Joe:''' I can't believe this. Two weeks in prison on trumped-up charges. That trial was a total sham!\
250'''Peter:''' Yeah, I knew we were in trouble the minute I saw the jury.\
251''(cut to a jury box filled [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons "Simpsons"]] characters)''\
252'''Peter:''' Well, at least they're a jury of our peers.\
253'''Joe:''' I don't think they see it that way, Peter.
254-->--''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS10E8CoolHandPeter Cool Hand Peter]]"
255
256->''"You're on trial today for the crimes that you've committed. We're gonna prove ya guilty! Just try and get acquitted."''
257-->--''WesternAnimation/PlutosJudgementDay''
258
259->'''Riq IV:''' Operating an unregistered portal gun, radicalizing a Summer, conspiring with a traitorous Rick. How do you plead?\
260'''Morty:''' How is this a fair trial? Our lawyer is a Morty!\
261'''Riq IV:''' It's not fair, you have no rights, and he's not a lawyer. We just keep him here because he's fun.
262-->-- ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'', "[[Recap/RickAndMortyS3E1TheRickshankRedemption The Rickshank Redemption]]"
263
264->'''Lisa:''' ''(to Bart)'' Ooh, I see. If you testify, Skinner will know you skipped school. Well, if Freddy Quimby didn't do it, I'm sure he'll be found innocent by a fair and impartial jury.\
265''(cut to Homer opening a letter at home)''\
266'''Homer:''' Aww, jury duty?! I'll see that Quimby kid hang for this!\
267'''Bart:''' ''(groans)''\
268'''Lisa:''' I knew it was a bad idea to watch him open the mail.
269-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E20TheBoyWhoKnewTooMuch The Boy Who Knew Too Much]]"
270
271->''"Koopa Court is now in session! Bailiff Mouser, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!"''
272-->-- '''Bowser (King Koopa)''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''
273[[/folder]]
274
275[[folder:Real Life]]
276->''"Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men, and I will find an excuse in them to hang him."''
277-->-- '''UsefulNotes/CardinalRichelieu'''
278
279->''"All this humiliating business was made worse by the rise of Senator [[UsefulNotes/JosephMcCarthy Joe McCarthy]]. Yet, to be fair, [=McCarthy=] could never have flourished had it not been for UsefulNotes/HarrySTruman's mandatory loyalty oaths for all government workers because the Russians were coming, and we must root out their agents wherever they may be and a crypto-commie, if he swore falsely, would, everyone knew, [[SweepingAshes crumble to ashes]]."''
280-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''' on the RedScare.
281
282->''"It is as if twenty years after [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanRevolution Yorktown]] somebody in power at Washington found it necessary for the safety of the State to send to the scaffold UsefulNotes/ThomasJefferson, [[UsefulNotes/JamesMadison Madison]], UsefulNotes/JohnAdams, [[UsefulNotes/AlexanderHamilton Hamilton]], [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Jay Jay]] and most of their associates. The charge against them would be that they conspired to hand over the United States to [[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfHanover George III]]."''
283-->-- 1938 ''New York Times'' editorial about [[UsefulNotes/JosefStalin Stalin]]'s purge of the Old Bolsheviks
284
285->''"From beginning to end the trial was such a parody of justice that it would be [[InsultToRocks insulting to marsupials]] even to call it a kangaroo court."''
286-->-- ''Death Plus Ten Years'', by Roger Cooper.
287
288->''"[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Give_me_the_man_and_I_will_give_you_the_case_against_him Give me the man and I will give you the case against him.]]"''
289-->-- Often [[BeamMeUpScotty attributed to]] '''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavrentiy_Beria Lavrentiy Beria]]''' and/or '''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrey_Vyshinsky Andrey Vyshinsky]]'''
290[[/folder]]

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