History Quotes / GrumpyOldMan

'''Yugi:''' That's enough, Grandpa. It's time for [[AnAesop the big message]].\\

-->-- '''[[http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/my_personal_fox_news_nightmare_inside_a_month_of_self_induced_torture/ John Haggerty]]''', "My Personal Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}} Nightmare"

->''"Tomorrow the tides will ebb and flow, the sun will rise, and Creator/BillOReilly will be pissed off about something. I settled back on my couch and let it all wash over me. [='=]'''[[YouCanPanicNow We are in the twilight zone. America has entered another dimension]]''',' he began, and I gave out a small, satisfied sigh. Take me home, Bill, take me home."''

->They can call each other "giants" but we have to call them "[[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad enlarged people]]" or something. That's how it works. They start out simple and then they just want to torture you, make you bend over backwards so you don't hurt any feelings. Before you know it, up is down, men are getting married to each other, and the Jets are hosting a Super Bowl.

'''Abraham Simpson:''' I used to be 'with it'. But then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. [[HistoryRepeats It'll happen to]] '''[[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger YOU.]]'''

'''Abraham Simpson:''' I used to be 'with it'. But then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to '''[[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger YOU.]]'''

->''Nice to see that ''Dustin'' is taking a day off from its usual shtick of slamming on millennials, or even its occasional shtick of slamming on baby boomers, to cover a subject we can all enjoy: TV commercials. You ever notice how many commercials are on TV, folks? Millennials don’t, because they use their parents logins to watch {{Creator/Netflix}} and {{Creator/HBO}} Go on their laptops in their rooms, but that’s neither here nor there.''

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'''Abraham Simpson:''' I used to be 'with it'. But then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to '''''YOU.'''''

-->-- '''Senator [=John McCain=]''' (AZ), on being born in [[TheGreatDepression 1936]]

->''"We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently inhabit taverns and have no self control."''
-->-- '''Ancient Egyptian tomb inscription'''.

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-->-- '''Gene Hackman''' to Creator/WesAnderson on the set of ''TheRoyalTenenbaums''

->''"The only thing I know of that can cut through her hide ain't in no WorldOfWarcraft game. So how you like them apples, hippies? Can't stop rockets with your Starbucks and [=iPads=], can you? Old guys win again! OLD GUYS WIN AGAIN!"''

->''"We don't need one show about cupcakes, as far as I'm concerned. But you know what, if you've got one, okay, that's fine, let's have a show about cupcakes. But does it have to be a fucking competition? Do you have to have ''CupcakeWars''? And I'm sure people who have been in war kind of take offense to that. Because seriously, it's not that goddamn dangerous to make a cupcake."''

->''"Tomorrow the tides will ebb and flow, the sun will rise, and BillOReilly will be pissed off about something. I settled back on my couch and let it all wash over me. [='=]'''[[YouCanPanicNow We are in the twilight zone. America has entered another dimension]]''',' he began, and I gave out a small, satisfied sigh. Take me home, Bill, take me home."''

-->-- ''NarutoTheAbridgedSeries''

-->-- '''Ancient Egyptian tomb inscription'''

-->-- '''{{Creator/Cicero}}'''

->@@2012 - Most respected evolutionary scientist in the world@@
->@@2013 - Strange, often xenophobic rants on {{Twitter}} began@@
->@@2014 - Says that some rapes are better than others@@
->@@2015 - Found in a park, naked, fighting a swan@@
-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/unnamedinsider/status/494130960095805440 Unnamed Insider]]''' on UsefulNotes/RichardDawkins

-->-- '''Cranky Kong''', ''VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry''

-->-- '''{{Plato}}''' on the invention of ''[[OlderThanFeudalism writing]]''

->My father was a wheel! The ''first'' wheel! And do you know what he transformed into? ''Nothing!!'' But he did it with honor! Dignity, damn it!
-->--'''Jetfire''', ''Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen''

->Grandpa Schneider is kind of, you know, nice and affable. He'd maybe take you for ice cream, maybe read to you. Grandpa Palmer doesn't wanna do any of that. If you ask him to read, he might throw the book at you.
-->--'''Hank Palmer''', ''Film/TheJudge''

->Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for any reason.
-->--'''Melvin''', ''Film/AsGoodAsItGets''

->''Yeah, and what about student drivers using '''my''' streets to learn?\\

I can't get behind a student driver''
-->--'''Creator/WilliamShatner''', "I Can't Get Behind That"

->You punks gotta realize, these 70 year old guys, most of them have been in a war, and you haven't.

-->--'''''Theatre/ByeByeBirdie''''', "Kids"

->You know the problem with the youth nowadays? They're YOUNG!
-->--'''Jolee Bindo''', ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic''

->They can't keep this level of graphics up for much longer! We used to be lucky if we only got three shades of grey, let alone any real colors!
-->--'''Cranky Kong''', ''VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry''

-->--'''[[https://twitter.com/unnamedinsider/status/494130960095805440 Unnamed Insider]]''' on UsefulNotes/RichardDawkins

->MILLENNIALS.\\\
You gosh darn millennials, you are the cause of all the issues here today. You aren’t ambitious, but [[YouKeepUsingThatWord you’re also not trepidatious.]] Just writing that sentence required me to [[PerfectlyCromulentWord look up the meaning of the word trepidatious]] on three different sites just so I could try to figure out what [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vince]] was meaning in his rant. Despite spending this time researching it, I still have no clue.
-->--'''''Website/{{Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-vince-mcmahon-and-the-brass-rings-2014-gooker-award-co-winner/ Vince McMahon and the BRASS RINGS – 2014 Gooker Award Co-Winner"]]

->Creator/TommyLeeJones isn't the human Grumpy Cat. Grumpy Cat is the pussy Tommy Lee Jones.
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/10/29/the-time-tommy-lee-jones-said-i-hate-you-to-jim-carrey-in-the-middle-of-a-restaurant/ DListed]]''''', "The Time Tommy Lee Jones Said 'I Hate You' To Creator/JimCarrey In The Middle Of A Restaurant"

->When you get older, much of your hate comes from knowledge and experience, which is why really old people [[HatesEveryoneEqually hate everyone.]]
-->--'''''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-pittsburgh-steelers-1625613194 Deadspin]]'''''

->By law, all Supreme Court dissents must be '''WITHERING''' and/or '''SCATHING''', and Scalia's proclamation today was no different. It even includes the phrase "Ask your nearest hippie". [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am not joking.]]

->'''Batman:''' The only thing I know of that can cut through her hide ain't in no WorldOfWarcraft game. So how you like them apples, hippies? Can't stop rockets with your Starbucks and [=iPads=], can you? Old guys win again! OLD GUYS WIN AGAIN!
-->--'''[[http://comicsalliance.com/frank-miller-occupy-muslim-comics/ Chris Sims]]''', "Creator/FrankMiller Was a Cranky Old Man All Along"

->It doesn't help that today's old-folks were raised at a time when it wasn't considered cool to talk about your problems in any kind of constructive way. You sucked it up and lived with it. If you committed suicide, they would literally [[NoSympathy call you a fag in the obituary]]. Well, if you 'suck it up' for 80 years it eventually just overflows onto everyone who walks past your house.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_16952_6-obnoxious-old-people-habits-explained-by-science.html#ixzz3EAXUqDdv "6 Obnoxious Old People Habits (Explained By Science)"]]

->Tomorrow the tides will ebb and flow, the sun will rise, and BillOReilly will be pissed off about something. I settled back on my couch and let it all wash over me. [='=]'''[[YouCanPanicNow We are in the twilight zone. America has entered another dimension]]''',' he began, and I gave out a small, satisfied sigh. Take me home, Bill, take me home.
-->--'''[[http://www.salon.com/2014/01/28/my_personal_fox_news_nightmare_inside_a_month_of_self_induced_torture/ John Haggerty]]''', "My Personal Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}} Nightmare"

--> --''[[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Movie]]''

--> -- ''NarutoTheAbridgedSeries''

-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Homepalooza"

->If men learn this, it will implant forgetfulness in their souls; they will cease to exercise memory because they rely on that which is written, calling things to remembrance no longer from within themselves, but by means of external marks. What you have discovered is a recipe not for memory, but for reminder. And it is no true wisdom that you offer your disciples, but only its semblance, for by telling them of many things without teaching them you will make them seem to know much, while for the most part they know nothing, and as men filled, not with wisdom, but with the conceit of wisdom, they will be a burden to their fellows.
-->--'''{{Plato}}''' on the invention of ''[[OlderThanFeudalism writing]]''

->We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently inhabit taverns and have no self control.
-->--Ancient Egyptian tomb inscription

->Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and [[FauxHorrific everyone is writing a book.]]
-->--'''{{Creator/Cicero}}'''

->The Golden Past was never the Golden Present.
-->--'''Creator/BenjaminFranklin''' (attributed)

->The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
--> --''' Creator/HLMencken'''

->You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana are Jewish. [[RacistGrandma What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob?]] What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists.
-->--'''UsefulNotes/RichardNixon''', transcripts from White House tapes

->Pull your pants up and act like a man!
-->--'''Gene Hackman''' to Creator/WesAnderson on the set of ''TheRoyalTenenbaums''

->The world is in greater turmoil than at any time in my lifetime.
-->--Senator '''[=John McCain=]''' (AZ), on being born in [[TheGreatDepression 1936]]

->We didn't have room for cute in my life. Things were tough every day of our lives. And we made the best of it. Frankly, that's why I'm driven the way I am. I was raised on neglect, anger and hate. I was raised the old-fashioned way.
-->--'''Radio/MichaelSavage'''

->Lactose intolerant milk?! '''''KISS! MY DICK!'''''

->We don't need one show about cupcakes, as far as I'm concerned. But you know what, if you've got one, okay, that's fine, let's have a show about cupcakes. But does it have to be a fucking competition? Do you have to have ''CupcakeWars''? And I'm sure people who have been in war kind of take offense to that. Because seriously, it's not that goddamn dangerous to make a cupcake.
-->--'''Billy Bob Thorton''', ''Oprah's Master Class''

->Nowadays people give the middle finger quite quickly – it’s not the best behavior. Everybody does that, what’s new about that? It’s just become a bad habit. People in magazines are 50% bimbo and 50% pregnant women.
-->--Fashion designer '''Karl Lagerfield'''

->I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.