History Quotes / GrammarNazi

->'''Stan''': See, between me and him, I'm not always the bad twin!
->'''Ford''': Between 'him' and 'me'. Grammar, Stanley.
->'''Stan''': I'll 'Grammar, Stanley' ''you'', you stuck up jerk!

->''The first thing I want to address is the title of this show: ''Ross's Game Dungeon''. I've had quite a few self-proclaimed Grammar Nazis try to correct me on this, saying there shouldn't be an extra "s" in there. Well, let me tell you, Grammar Nazis: the Grammar SS would have had you sent to the Grammar Russian Front for overstepping your authority! I've had this my whole life. It's '''''Ross's Game Dungeon''''', not '''''Ross' Game Dungeon''''', because that sounds sort of like what a caveman would say. But, moreover, it's the possessive form of a proper name. The Chicago Manual of Style and The New York Public Library Guide to Style agree with me. I'm really not a grammar expert, but I do know this one particular rule. See, this is why the Grammar Nazis lost Grammar World War II.''
-->-- ''WebVideo/RosssGameDungeon''

-->'''Stan''': See, between me and him, I'm not always the bad twin!
-->'''Ford''': Between 'him' and 'me'. Grammar, Stanley.
-->'''Stan''': I'll 'Grammar, Stanley' ''you'', you stuck up jerk!

->''[[PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith Never use a preposition to end a sentence]] [[HypocriticalHumor with]].''

''But if it's supposed to be a contraction, then it's I-T-apostrophe-S...''\\

->'''Henry:''' You see [[TheHero Simon]], there's [[RuleOfThree three]] kinds of "there". There's "there", t-h-e-r-e: "There are the donuts." Then there's "their", t-h-e-i-r, which is the possessive: "It is their donut." Then finally, there's "they're", t-h-e-y-apostrophe-r-e. A contraction meaning: "They're... they're the donut people." Got it?

->'''Homer:''' Linguo...dead?!\\
'''Linguo the Grammar Robot:''' Linguo...'''IS'''...deeeeeaaaaad... ''(dies)''

->''Whoever killed her...also murdered the English language.''

'''Agent Flemming:''' Bork! You are a federal agent. You represent the United States Government...never end a sentence with a preposition. Try again.\\
'''Agent Bork:''' Oh, ah...you know that guy in whose camper they...I mean that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?\\

->'''Prisoner in Belarus:''' She's always gettin' at me, saying I weren't a real man...\\

'''Sherlock Holmes:''' It's not "weren't", it's "wasn't".\\
'''Prisoner:''' ...Oh.\\
'''Sherlock Holmes:''' Go on.\\
'''Prisoner:''' Well, I don't know how it happened, but suddenly there's a knife in my hands, and me old man was a butcher, so I know how to handle knives, he learnt us how to cut up a beast...\\
'''Sherlock Holmes:''' Taught.\\

'''Sherlock Holmes:''' ''Taught'' you how to cut up a beast.\\

'''Sherlock Holmes:''' Did it.\\
'''Prisoner:''' ''(annoyed)'' Did it! STABBED HER! Over, and over, and over, and I looked down and she weren't... ''(Sherlock just sighs)'' ...''wasn't''...moving no more... ''(Sherlock rolls his eyes)'' ...''anymore''. ''(calmer)'' God help me, I don't know how it happened, it was an accident, I swear! ''(Sherlock gets up to leave)'' Hey, you gotta help me, Mr. Holmes! Everyone says you're the best. Without you...I'll get hung for this.\\
'''Sherlock Holmes:''' No, no, Mr. Bewick, not at all. ''(beat)'' ''Hanged'', yes.

->''There is a busybody on your staff who devotes a lot of time to chasing split infinitives...I call for the immediate dismissal of this pedant. It is of no consequence whether he decides to go quickly or to quickly go or quickly to go. The important thing is that he should go at once.''

'''Becker:''' OK, nothinG. [=NothinG=]. NOTHIIIIIIIIING. 'K, you happy?\\

'''Becker:''' Sorry. I don't know ANY York.

->''Alright, if you say "You laughed so hard you literally pooped your pants", there better be actual poop in your actual pants...or literally you're a little illiterate.''

'''Prisoner:''' ''(annoyed)'' Did it! STOP THAT! Over, and over, and over, and I looked down and she weren't... ''(Sherlock just sighs)'' ...''wasn't''...moving no more... ''(Sherlock rolls his eyes)'' ...''anymore''. ''(calmer)'' God help me, I don't know how it happened, it was an accident, I swear! ''(Sherlock gets up to leave)'' Hey, you gotta help me, Mr. Holmes! Everyone says you're the best. Without you...I'll get hung for this.\\

->''The English language is being treated nowadays exactly...as [[GodwinsLaw the inmates of concentration camps were dealt with by their Nazi jailers]].''
-->--'''John Simon''', film and theater critic

-->--'''Robert Webb''', calling out Creator/DavidMitchell[[note]]who, for the unaware, is his longtime comedy partner, meaning that at least some of the proceeding was tongue-in-cheek at least slightly.[[/note]] and, by extension, others for this trope

-->--[[BeamMeUpScotty Attributed to]] '''Winston Churchill'''[[note]] [[DontExplainTheJoke yes, this apocryphal communique in which he dismisses civil servants' fixation upon proper grammar]] [[PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith ends with a preposition[[/note]]

-->--[[BeamMeUpScotty Attributed to]] '''Winston Churchill'''[[note]] [[Don'tExplainTheJoke yes, the apocryphal communique dismissing civil service concerns over proper grammar]] [[PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith ends with a preposition[[/note]]

-->--[[BeamMeUpScotty Attributed to]] '''Winston Churchill'''[[note]]rejecting the rule against ending a sentence with a preposition[[/note]]

->''I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, "Sir, could you please move? You're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are'' never ''blocking a fire exit...unless you're a table.''
-->--'''Mitch Hedburg'''

->''[[PrepositionsAreNotToEndSentencesWith Never use a preposition to end a sentence]] [[HypocriticalHumor with.]]''
--> -- '''Anonymous'''

->If you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written.

-> Ego sum rex romanus et supra grammaticam.\\
Translated as: I am the King of Rome, and above grammar.

->Correct English is the slang of prigs who write history and essays.

->This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
-->--'''Attributed to Winston Churchill''' ''(rejecting the rule against ending a sentence with a preposition)''

->Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.

->I was standing in the lobby of this hotel just minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said, 'Sir, could you please move? You're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't going to run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are'' never ''blocking a fire exit...Unless you're a table.
-->-- '''Mitch Hedburg'''

->'''Avery''': What are you, some kind of grammar nazi?\\
'''Millie''': Yep. I've just invaded Grammar Czechoslovakia and duped Grammar Neville Chamberlain, and now it's off to Grammar Poland and Grammar World Conquest!!\\
-->-- '''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'''

->''The English language is being treated nowadays exactly... as [[GodwinsLaw the inmates of concentration camps were dealt with by their Nazi jailers.]]''
-->-- John Simon, film and theater critic

->And I loved her even more than Marlon Brando loved soufflé\\

And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing, but frankly, I can't imagine why
-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Close but No Cigar"

'''Linguo the Grammar Robot:''' Linguo...'''IS'''...deeeeeaaaaad...(dies)
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', episode "Trilogy of Error"

->"Whoever killed her...also murdered the English language."
-->-- '''[[Series/{{Castle}} Rick Castle]]''', ''who later goes on to correct who/whom and the improper use of the word [[{{Irony}} ironic]].''

->'''Agent Bork''': Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?\\
'''Agent Flemming''': Bork! You are a federal agent. You represent the United States Government... Never end a sentence with a preposition. Try again.\\
'''Agent Bork''': Oh, ah... You know that guy in whose camper they... I mean that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?\\
'''Agent Flemming''': That's better. Yes?
-->--''BeavisAndButthead Do America''

->"Y-O-U-R. Y-O-U-Apostrophe-R-E. They're as different as night and day. Don't you think that night and day are different? What's wrong with you?"
-->--'''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Strong Bad]]'''

->"We must invade the Bureau and bring them under our control! They WILL correct this typo!"

-->-- ''ASofterWorld''

-> ''"Yes, they're the sort of dribbling unpardonable cretins that use "party" as a verb and, when I'm in charge and have established my Reich, those people are going to be punished."''
-->-- '''CharlieBrooker''', ''Series/{{Newswipe}}''

->'''Her'ak''': No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of. \\
'''O'Neill''': You ended that sentence with a preposition! Bastard!"
-->-- ''Series/StargateSG1''

->'''Prisoner in Belarus''': She's always gettin' at me, saying I weren't a real man...\\
'''Franchise/SherlockHolmes''': Wasn't a real man.\\
'''Prisoner''': What?\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': It's not "weren't", it's "wasn't".\\
'''Prisoner''': ...Oh.\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': Go on.\\
'''Prisoner''': Well, I don't know how it happened, but suddenly there's a knife in my hands, and me old man was a butcher, so I know how to handle knives, he learnt us how to cut up a beast...\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': Taught.\\
'''Prisoner''': What?\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': ''Taught'' you how to cut up a beast.\\
'''Prisoner''': Yeh, well, and I done it.\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': Did it.\\
'''Prisoner''': ''(annoyed)'' Did it! STOP THAT! Over, and over, and over, and I looked down and she weren't... ''(Sherlock just sighs)'' ...''Wasn't''... moving no more... ''(Sherlock rolls his eyes)'' ...''anymore''. ''(calmer)'' God help me, I don't know how it happened, it was an accident, I swear! ''(Sherlock gets up to leave)'' Hey, you gotta help me, Mr. Holmes! Everyone says you're the best. Without you... I'll get hung for this.\\
'''Sherlock Holmes''': No, no, Mr. Bewick, not at all. ''(beat)'' ''Hanged'', yes.
-->-- ''Series/{{Sherlock}}''

->''There is a busybody on your staff who devotes a lot of time to chasing split infinitives... I call for the immediate dismissal of this pedant. It is of no consequence whether he decides to go quickly or to quickly go or quickly to go. The important thing is that he should go at once.''
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeBernardShaw''', letter to the ''Times'' of London

-->-- '''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'''

->'''Becker:''' Whoa whoa whoa, I don't know nothin', I didn't see nothin', I didn't say nothin'.\\

->Alright, if you say 'You laughed so hard you literally pooped your pants', there better be actual poop in your actual pants... or literally you're a little illiterate.
-->-- GloveAndBoots https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ2SHSg5rIY

->''When you're insulting someone's intelligence on the internet, one should be mindful of their own spelling and grammar. In other words, don't call someone a retard when ''you'' spell like a retard''.
-->-- '''Adam Buckley''', WebOriginal/ADoseOfBuckley

->A couple of weeks ago I was interested -- [[TakeThat in the loosest possible sense of that word]] -- to watch [an episode of ''Creator/{{David Mitchell}}'s Soapbox''] about Gallic, in which David proclaimed his lack of sympathy for the plight of the dying Gallic language. "Who needs it?" fumed the red-shirted [[Literature/HardTimes Mr. Gradgrind]]. "Language is about communication, it's not about maintaining a secret code for the few." Which, I suppose, is fair enough -- if a little bloody bleak. Until, that is, you [[{{Hypocrite}} compare it to the desperate huffing and puffing that went on a few weeks earlier]]. The one about spelling, where David's own little secret code was under discussion. Suddenly, upholding arcane language rules was ''tremendously'' important and everyone else was told very sternly to pull their socks up and knuckle down to learning where the apostrophe goes just like he had to. No worries about a secret code now, no observation that ''communication'' was key. No, now people who were communicating perfectly well -- and more other, in the organic evolving way which people have ''always'' used language to communicate -- they were suddenly not trying hard enough and made to feel bad for not using a certain set of tools to which they may or may not have access or even need. Well, I say ''that's rubbish'', and it's far more valuable to spend time, energy and even money on preserving an entire language than getting all red in the face because someone's put an extra 'u' in 'manoeuvre' at precisely no expense to either meaning or poetry. David, you are an arse. Thanks for listening.
-->--'''Robert Webb''', calling out Creator/DavidMitchell[[note]]who, for the unaware, is his long time comedy partner, meaning that at least some of the proceeding was tongue-in-cheek at least slightly.[[/note]] and by extension others for this trope.

->--'''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphrys_law Muphry's law]]'''

->''Ohhhh, if you want it to be possessive, it's just I-T-S,''
->''But if it's supposed to be a contraction, then it's I-T-apostrophe-S...''
->''Scalawag!''
->--'''Strong Bad''', ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner''

-> Ego sum rex romanus et supra grammaticam.
-> Translated as: I am the King of Rome, and above grammar.
->--'''Sigismund I, Holy Roman Emperor'''

->--'''George Eliot''', ''Middlemarch''

->--'''Attributed to Winston Churchill''' ''(rejecting the rule against ending a sentence with a preposition)''

->--'''Jack Lynch'''

-- '''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'''

->-- John Simon, film and theater critic

->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Close but No Cigar"

->'''Homer:''' Linguo...dead?!
->'''Linguo the Grammar Robot:''' Linguo...'''IS'''...deeeeeaaaaad...(dies)
->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', episode "Trilogy of Error"

->'''Her'ak''': No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
->'''O'Neill''': You ended that sentence with a preposition! Bastard!"

->'''Prisoner in Belarus''': She's always gettin' at me, saying I weren't a real man...
->'''Franchise/SherlockHolmes''': Wasn't a real man.
->'''Prisoner''': What?
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': It's not "weren't", it's "wasn't".
->'''Prisoner''': ...Oh.
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': Go on.
->'''Prisoner''': Well, I don't know how it happened, but suddenly there's a knife in my hands, and me old man was a butcher, so I know how to handle knives, he learnt us how to cut up a beast...
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': Taught.
->'''Prisoner''': What?
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': ''Taught'' you how to cut up a beast.
->'''Prisoner''': Yeh, well, and I done it.
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': Did it.
->'''Prisoner''': ''(annoyed)'' Did it! STOP THAT! Over, and over, and over, and I looked down and she weren't... ''(Sherlock just sighs)'' ...''Wasn't''... moving no more... ''(Sherlock rolls his eyes)'' ...''anymore''. ''(calmer)'' God help me, I don't know how it happened, it was an accident, I swear! ''(Sherlock gets up to leave)'' Hey, you gotta help me, Mr. Holmes! Everyone says you're the best. Without you... I'll get hung for this.
->'''Sherlock Holmes''': No, no, Mr. Bewick, not at all. ''(beat)'' ''Hanged'', yes.

->'''Amerei Frey:''' He gave them the money, but they hung him anyway.
->'''Mariya Darry:''' Hanged, Ami, not hung. Your father was not a tapestry.

->'''Becker:''' Whoa whoa whoa, I don't know nothin', I didn't see nothin', I didn't say nothin'.
->'''Luger:''' "Nothing". The word is "nothing", not "nothin'". There's an -ing on the end of it, "nothing".
->'''Becker:''' OK, nothinG. [=NothinG=]. NOTHIIIIIIIIING. 'K, you happy?
->'''Luger:''' That's better. But that's not what you told York.
->'''Becker:''' I don't know no York, and where's my food?
->'''Luger:''' We ate it. And please, no double negatives.
->'''Becker:''' Sorry. I don't know ANY York.

-->'''Robert Webb''', calling out Creator/DavidMitchell[[note]]who, for the unaware, is his long time comedy partner, meaning that at least some of the proceeding was tongue-in-cheek at least slightly.[[/note]] and by extension others for this trope.

->A couple of weeks ago I was interested -- [[TakeThat in the loosest possible sense of that word]] -- to watch [an episode of ''Creator/{{DavidMitchell}}'s Soapbox''] about Gallic, in which David proclaimed his lack of sympathy for the plight of the dying Gallic language. "Who needs it?" fumed the red-shirted [[Literature/HardTimes Mr. Gradgrind]]. "Language is about communication, it's not about maintaining a secret code for the few." Which, I suppose, is fair enough -- if a little bloody bleak. Until, that is, you [[{{Hypocrite}} compare it to the desperate huffing and puffing that went on a few weeks earlier]]. The one about spelling, where David's own little secret code was under discussion. Suddenly, upholding arcane language rules was ''tremendously'' important and everyone else was told very sternly to pull their socks up and knuckle down to learning where the apostrophe goes just like he had to. No worries about a secret code now, no observation that ''communication'' was key. No, now people who were communicating perfectly well -- and more other, in the organic evolving way which people have ''always'' used language to communicate -- they were suddenly not trying hard enough and made to feel bad for not using a certain set of tools to which they may or may not have access or even need. Well, I say ''that's rubbish'', and it's far more valuable to spend time, energy and even money on preserving an entire language than getting all red in the face because someone's put an extra 'u' in 'manoeuvre' at precisely no expense to either meaning or poetry. David, you are an arse. Thanks for listening.

->A couple of weeks ago I was interested -- [[TakeThat in the loosest possible sense of that word]] -- to watch [an episode of ''CreatorDavidMitchell's Soapbox''] about Gallic, in which David proclaimed his lack of sympathy for the plight of the dying Gallic language. "Who needs it?" fumed the red-shirted [[Literature/HardTimes Mr. Gradgrind]]. "Language is about communication, it's not about maintaining a secret code for the few." Which, I suppose, is fair enough -- if a little bloody bleak. Until, that is, you [[{{Hypocrite}} compare it to the desperate huffing and puffing that went on a few weeks earlier]]. The one about spelling, where David's own little secret code was under discussion. Suddenly, upholding arcane language rules was ''tremendously'' important and everyone else was told very sternly to pull their socks up and knuckle down to learning where the apostrophe goes just like he had to. No worries about a secret code now, no observation that ''communication'' was key. No, now people who were communicating perfectly well -- and more other, in the organic evolving way which people have ''always'' used language to communicate -- they were suddenly not trying hard enough and made to feel bad for not using a certain set of tools to which they may or may not have access or even need. Well, I say ''that's rubbish'', and it's far more valuable to spend time, energy and even money on preserving an entire language than getting all red in the face because someone's put an extra 'u' in 'manoeuvre' at precisely no expense to either meaning or poetry. David, you are an arse. Thanks for listening.

->'''SherlockHolmes''': Wasn't a real man.

->Alright, if you say you laughed so hard you literally pooped your pants, there better be actual poop in your actual pants... or literally you're a little illiterate.

->Alright, if you say you laughed so hard you literally pooped your pants, there better be actual poop in your actual pants or literally you're a little illiterate.

->"You ended a sentence with a preposition! Bastard!"
-->-- '''Col. Jack O'Neill''', ''Series/StargateSG1''

-- '''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie,'''

-> ''"Yes, they're the sort of dribbling unpardonable cretins that use "party" as a verb and, when I'm in charge and have established by Reich, those people are going to be punished."''

->"''There should be a fine against being illiterate on the internet.\\
The reason could be "Illitering".\\
After all, it is making the internet an ugly and unhealthy place.''"
--> -- '''Hmac''', ''[[Blog/{{Bronyism}} -Trollvorlord]]''

->''[[HypocriticalHumor Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.]]''