History Quotes / DukeNukemForever

->''"Still, I suppose it is about time to say goodbye. Farewell, Duke Nukem! You'll live on in our hearts, and in the countless reiterations of your earlier games. And farewell to you, 3D Realms! I'm still waiting on the sequel to ''VideoGame/ShadowWarrior''!"''

->''"Yes it seems that 3D Realms have been doing something other than [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/11/03/ giving each other piggyback rides]] for the last 10 years. In a stroke all the anticipation we haven't felt since 1998 returned like a tazer gun to the base of the spine. I just hope that 3D realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure for at least one type of cancer, then [[HypeBacklash I and ever other reviewer on earth are going to saw its bollocks off]]."''

->''"Yes it seems that 3D realms have been doing something other than [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/11/03/ giving each other piggyback rides]] for the last 10 years. In a stroke all the anticipation we haven't felt since 1998 returned like a tazer gun to the base of the spine. I just hope that 3D realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure for at least one type of cancer, then [[HypeBacklash I and ever other reviewer on earth are going to saw its bollocks off]]."''

-> ''"What if the game gets delayed? You don't want this to become NoMoreHeroes Forever, do you?"''

->''"The interesting thing about ''Forever'' is that you can practically cut it in half and see the entire 14 years of shooter evolution it tried to keep up with like rings in a tree stump. It starts campy and colorful, in ''{{Sin}}'', ''{{Blood}} II: The Chosen'' kind of way; then it moves into the dark, sweaty, unpleasant ''VideoGame/{{Doom}} 3'', ''{{Prey}}'', ''VideoGame/QuakeIV'' period when you go into the alien hive. (And incidentally, this section contains as jarring a [[MoodWhiplash shift of tone]] as you can get without splicing five minutes of ''TheHumanCentipede'' into the middle of ''{{Mallrats}}''.) And by the last mission, Duke has finally embraced the [=FPSs=] of today, meaning you run around a [[RealIsBrown gray-brown]] industrial area for a while, then get a shit ending."''
-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' (June 2011)

-->-- '''[[spoiler:Jeane]]''', ''NoMoreHeroes''

-->-- ''PennyArcade''

->'''Gabe:''' *Bored* Did you know there's a mode in CallOfDuty where you murder, like, a million people? [[MoralMyopia It's called Call of Duty]].
-->-- ''PennyArcade'', "[[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/3/23/ One Of Many Possible Responses]]"

->''"The interesting thing about ''Forever'' is that you can practically cut it in half and see the entire 14 years of shooter evolution it tried to keep up with like rings in a tree stump. It starts campy and colorful, in ''{{Sin}}'', ''{{Blood}} II: The Chosen'' kind of way; then it moves into the dark, sweaty, unpleasant ''{{Doom}} 3'', ''{{Prey}}'', ''VideoGame/QuakeIV'' period when you go into the alien hive. (And incidentally, this section contains as jarring a [[MoodWhiplash shift of tone]] as you can get without splicing five minutes of ''TheHumanCentipede'' into the middle of ''{{Mallrats}}''.) And by the last mission, Duke has finally embraced the [=FPSs=] of today, meaning you run around a [[RealIsBrown gray-brown]] industrial area for a while, then get a shit ending."''

-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebOriginal/ZeroPunctuation'' (Feb. 2008)

-->-- '''Leo's Younger Self''', ''VGCats''

-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebOriginal/ZeroPunctuation'' (June 2011)

-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''ZeroPunctuation'' (Feb. 2008)

-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''ZeroPunctuation'' (June 2011)

->''"The interesting thing about ''Forever'' is that you can practically cut it in half and see the entire 14 years of shooter evolution it tried to keep up with like rings in a tree stump. It starts campy and colorful, in ''{{Sin}}'', ''{{Blood}} II: The Chosen'' kind of way; then it moves into the dark, sweaty, unpleasant ''{{Doom}} 3'', ''{{Prey}}'', ''QuakeIV'' period when you go into the alien hive. (And incidentally, this section contains as jarring a [[MoodWhiplash shift of tone]] as you can get without splicing five minutes of ''TheHumanCentipede'' into the middle of ''{{Mallrats}}''.) And by the last mission, Duke has finally embraced the [=FPSs=] of today, meaning you run around a [[RealIsBrown gray-brown]] industrial area for a while, then get a shit ending."''

->''"Yes it seems that 3D realms have been doing something other than [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/11/03/ giving each other piggyback rides]] for the last 10 years. In a stroke all the anticipation we haven't felt since 1998 returned like a tazer gun to the base of the spine. I just hope that 3D realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure for at least one type of cancer, then I and ever other reviewer on earth are going to saw its bollocks off."''

-->-- '''[[ZeroPunctuation Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]''' (June 2011)

->-- ''PennyArcade'', "[[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2011/3/23/ One Of Many Possible Responses]]"

->"The interesting thing about ''Forever'' is that you can practically cut it in half and see the entire 14 years of shooter evolution it tried to keep up with like rings in a tree stump. It starts campy and colorful, in ''{{Sin}}'', ''{{Blood}} II: The Chosen'' kind of way; then it moves into the dark, sweaty, unpleasant ''{{Doom}} 3'', ''{{Prey}}'', ''QuakeIV'' period when you go into the alien hive. (And incidentally, this section contains as jarring a [[MoodWhiplash shift of tone]] as you can get without splicing five minutes of ''TheHumanCentipede'' into the middle of ''{{Mallrats}}''.) And by the last mission, Duke has finally embraced the [[{{Killzone}} FPSs of today]], meaning you run around a [[RealIsBrown gray-brown]] industrial area for a while, then get a shit ending."
--->-- '''[[ZeroPunctuation Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]''' (June 2011)

->'''YOU WANT IT'''
->'''YOU NEED IT'''
->'''AND NOW'''
->'''WE'RE FUCKING BRINGING IT'''
->'''HE'S READY'''
->'''HE'S RESTED'''
->'''HE'S REALLY'''
->'''REALLY'''
->'''ALL OUT OF GUM'''
--->-- ''[=DNF=] Reveal trailer''

->''Yes it seems that 3D realms have been doing something other than [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/11/03/ giving each other piggyback rides]] for the last 10 years. In a stroke all the anticipation we haven't felt since 1998 returned like a tazer gun to the base of the spine. I just hope that 3D realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure for at least one type of cancer, then I and ever other reviewer on earth are going to saw its bollocks off.''
--->-- '''[[ZeroPunctuation Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]''' (Feb. 2008)

-->-'''[[spoiler:Jeane]]''' knocks on the FourthWall, ''NoMoreHeroes''

-->-'''Leo's Younger Self''', ''VGCats''

->'''Gabe (in 1998):''' Man, if Duke Nukem Forever '''ever''' comes out, I will suck, like, a hundred horse dicks. ''In a row.''
->(one GilliganCut later to 2010)
->'''Gabe:''' No. No, no, no.
->'''Tycho:''' Well, these horse dicks aren't gonna suck themselves.

----
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--->-- ''[[ZeroPunctuation Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]'' (Feb. 2008)

-->-[[spoiler:Jeane]] knocks on the FourthWall, ''NoMoreHeroes''

-->-Leo's Younger Self, ''VGCats''

->-- ''PennyArcade'', "[[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/ One Of Many Possible Responses]]"

->'''Gabe:''' Man, if Duke Nukem Forever '''ever''' comes out, I will suck, like, a hundred horse dicks. ''In a row.''
->(one GilliganCut later)

->'''HER'S RESTED'''

(one GilliganCut later)

--->-- ''[[ZeroPunctuation Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]'' (Feb. 2008)

GilliganCut

->''Yes it seems that 3D realms have been doing something other than giving each other piggyback rides for the last 10 years. In a stroke all the anticipation we haven't felt since 1998 returned like a tazer gun to the base of the spine. I just hope that 3D realms understands that if this game doesn't turn out to be history's greatest contribution to human culture and the cure for at least one type of cancer, then I and ever other reviewer on earth are going to saw its bollocks off.''