History Quotes / Angel

->''"Five herb shops in Chinatown; we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the [[LastPlaceYouLook last place we look?]]"\\
"I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of [[ThatCameOutWrong being a dick]]. ''(beat)'' Uh, erm, [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock]]."\\

(gesturing to a {{bound and gagged}} Gavin)\\

->''"I’m looking for Franchise/{{Batman}} [[XMeetsY meets]] [[Music/TheSmashingPumpkins Smashing Pumpkins]] a la cello-rock."''

-->-- '''Strega''', ''TelevisionWithoutPity''

"Wait! [[BlatantLies I have a condition]]. [[TourettesShitcockSyndrome Whoop! Goh, boy! Dirty bitch!]] Tourettes. You've heard of it, right?"''

->'''Cordelia:''' "Call for help? Call who? The only person who's left to call is the Dork."
->'''Angel:''' "Hey, I don't like him, but Xander's the only human to ever intimidate Angelus. Say what you want about him, but he's got stones."
->'''Cordelia:''' "Wait, what?"

->''"''Buffy'' was [[ArtistiDisillusionment a grumpy cake]]. ''Angel'' is a happy cake -- and a somewhat more unexpected cake."''

->''"[T]he situations on this show are so insane that it's hard to decide what constitutes rational behavior. You can't get very far in a sentence that starts, '[[ARareSentence If I were a sexy yet troubled cat burglar with electro-powers and I was trying to help a vampire prevent Satan from turning the sun out]]...' before giving up."''

->''"I’m looking for Franchise/{{Batman}} [[XMeetsY meets]] Music/SmashingPumpkins a la cello-rock."''
-->-- Music coordinator '''John King''' quoting '''JossWhedon's''' {{theme song}} request

->"It made me cry like a baby and I was evil then!"

->''"I’m looking for {{Batman}} [[XMeetsY meets]] {{Smashing Pumpkins}} a la cello-rock."''
-->Music coordinator '''John King''' quoting '''JossWhedon's''' {{theme song}} request

-->'''Strega''', ''TelevisionWithoutPity''

-->'''Doyle''' and '''Angel''', "City Of"

-->'''Doyle''' to a homeless woman

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Doyle''' and '''Cordelia'''

-->'''Spike''' impersonating Angel from a rooftop, "In the Dark"

-->'''Kate''' and '''Angel'''

-->"Bachelor Party"

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Angel''', dutifully attending a party. ("She")

-->'''Angel'''

-->'''Angel'''

-->'''Angel''' and '''Rebecca''', "Eternity"

->David Nabbit: "Are you familiar with'' TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons?''"\\
Angel: "[[BluntMetaphorsTrauma Yeah. I've seen a few]]."\\
Wesley: "You mean the, uh, role-playing game."\\
Angel: "Oh. Game. Right."

-->'''Wesley''' and '''Cordelia''', "Blind Date"

-->'''Lindsey''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Gunn'''

-->'''Lilah'''

-->'''Welsey''', "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been"

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Wesley''', "First Impressions"

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Angel''', "Untouched"

-->'''Angel''' and '''Wesley''', "Untouched"

-->'''Darla''' and '''Lindsey''', "Dear Boy"

-->'''Angel''' and '''Wesley''', "Dear Boy"

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Wesley''', "Guise Will Be Guise"

-->'''Angelus''' and '''Darla''', "The Trial"

-->'''Darla''' and '''Barfly vampire''', "The Trial"

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Wesley''', "The Trial"

-->'''Angel''' and '''Holland Manners''', "Reunion"

->'''Cordelia''': What just happened? Can someone explain to me what just happened here?\\
'''Wesley''': I believe [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms we were fired]].\\

'''Wesley''': [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Let go]].\\
'''Gunn''': [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Axed.]]\\
'''Wesley''': [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Shown the door.]]\\
'''Gunn''': [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Booted]].\\
'''Cordelia''': All right! I get it.
-->"Redefinition"

-->'''Lilah''' and '''Lindsey''', "Redefinition"

-->'''Darla''' and demon bouncer, "Redefintion"

-->'''Lilah''' and '''Lindsey''', "Redefinition"

-->'''Lilah''' and '''Lindsey''', "Redefinition"

-->'''Drusilla''', "Redefinition"

-->'''Angel''', "Happy Anniversary"

-->'''Angel''' and '''Holland''', "Reprise"

-->'''Angel''', "Disharmony"

-->'''Librarian''' and '''Lorne''', "Belonging"

'''Angel''': It was horrible.\\
'''Cordelia''': I know. I saw it in my stupid vision, remember?\\
'''Angel''': No, not the Haklar, [[AnythingButThat the power walkers]]. I mean, walking I get, but ''power'' walking? Why not just run for a shorter time? ...Weird. Plus, one of them hit him.\\
'''Cordelia''': ''(gasps)'' A power walker did '''that'''??\\
'''Wesley''': Apparently, she felt [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad I'd disrespected the Haklar's culture by killing it]].\\
'''Cordelia''': [[HorribleHollywood This town sucks]].
-->"Belonging"

-->'''Fred''' and '''Angel''', "Through the Looking Glass"

-->'''Lorne''' and '''his mother'''

->'''Cordelia''': ''(to Groosalugg)'' You're in charge now. And you've got a long road ahead. Slavery has ended, but reconstruction has just begun.\\

'''Cordelia''': Gunn, [[TokenMinority you wanna field this?]]\\

-->"There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb"

-->'''Gunn''' and '''Wesley'''

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Angel'''

->'''Wesley''': This isn't like him.\\
'''Cordelia''': What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with [[EveryoneLovesBlondes some cheap blonde?]]\\

'''Cordelia''': ''(alarmed)'' You're right. [[NotHimself This isn't like him.]]

'''Cordelia''': Yes, Angel?\\

'''Cordelia''': And just because [[{{Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS2E22BecomingPart2}} I sent you to hell that one time]] doesn't mean we [[BetterAsFriends can't just...be friends]]!\\

'''Cordelia''': {{Gasp}}! No! We mustn't!\\

'''Cordelia''': Bite me!\\

-->'''Roger Burkle''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Fred''' and '''Gunn'''

-->'''Linwood''' and '''Bald psychic'''

->'''Angel''': Darla, you might wanna join the fight.\\

'''Vampire''': Yes, just the humans. Then we will nourish you, slice you open, wear your entrails as a belt and consume your eyeballs before we worship the miracle child.\\
'''Darla''': [[OnSecondThought Okay. I'm in]].

-->'''Angel''' and '''Linwood'''

-->'''Angel'''

-->'''Gunn''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Angel''' and '''Gunn'''

-->'''Sahjhan''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Sahjhan''' and '''Lilah'''

-->'''Groosalugg''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Groosalugg''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Justine''' and '''Wesley'''

-->'''Justine''' and '''Wesley'''

-->'''Angel''' and '''Gwen Raiden'''

-->'''Wesley''' and '''Lilah'''

-->'''Cordelia'''

-->'''Lilah''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Teen Wesley''' and '''Teen Gunn'''

->(as Fred)''"Forget about that evil witch. Let's talk about'' me. ''I'm good, and pure, and science turns me on, and one day, if I pray hard enough and eat all my vegetables, I just might have hips!"''
-->'''Lilah'''

-->'''Lilah''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Angel''' and '''Lilah'''

-->'''Welsey''' and '''Lilah'''

-->'''Connor''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Gwen''' and '''Lorne'''

-->'''The Beast''' and '''Angel'''

-->'''Cordelia''' and '''Fred'''

-->'''Bar demon''' and '''Angelus'''

-->'''Beastmaster''' and '''Angelus'''

-->'''Beastmaster''' and '''Angelus'''

"Yeah, yeah. [[TheIncredibleHulk Hulk smash]]."''

->David Nabbit: "Are you familiar with'' DungeonsAndDragons?''"\\

"No, [[YouWatchTooMuchX you been reading too much]] AnneRice, lady! You got no idea how this thing works!"''

->''"Say mom, when I disappeared, did you notice anything...odd?"\\
"We noticed [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing much feasting and celebration]]. Your brother Numfar performed the [[HappyDance dance of joy]] for three moons. ''(shouts to a boy in the background) ''[[JossWhedon NUMFAR!]] DO THE DANCE OF JOY!"''

[chuckles] ''"That's probably not a good idea."

[pretends to jolt awake] ''I'm sorry, I nodded off. Did you get to the part where you're evil?''"

-->'''Gunn''''

"I suppose will just have to move our offices back into your apartment, then."\\

"Right.'' This ''is Angel."'' [as Angel]: ''Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. [[IncrediblyLameFun I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them]]. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday."''

-->'''Cordelia'' and Wesley'', "The Trial"

"And yet I just can't seem to care. But'' you ''do. And while you're making threats, wasting time, crashing through windows, your girls are out painting the town red, red, red."

(speaking into the tiny microphone) ''But Lilah, I would never steal files from my employer! I'm shocked at the suggestion!"''

-->'''Drusilla''', "Redfinition"

->''"That other girl. I couldn't save her. I was arrested. They got her. She's a slave. She'll die!"''\\

"We noticed [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing much feasting and celebration]]. Your brother Numfar performed the [[HappyDance dance of joy]] for three moons. ''(shouts to a boy in the background) [[JossWhedon NUMFAR!]] DO THE DANCE OF JOY!"

->'''Cordelia''': ''(to Groosalug)'' You're in charge now. And you've got a long road ahead. Slavery has ended, but reconstruction has just begun.\\

"Angel, it's just a figure of speech."''\\
"Find another one."

''(breaths sigh of relief, then looks troubled)'' ...No you're not. You're gonna have me killed."\\

(Cordelia walks by and [[{{Ahem}} clears her throat]])'\\
"Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities."''

"Yeah, I'm a lawyer. [[ILied Have you met me?]] We have a new arrangement. I'm keeping the baby.''

'''Lorne:''' As long as [[MyfriendsAndZoidberg it's not mine]].

->''"The great Wesley Wyndham-Price, the shining beacon of all that's good and pure. But wait, no! That's before he started [[DatingCatwoman banging the enemy]] [[GoGoEnslavement and keeping slave-girl in his closet]]."\\

"I dunno,w e had a few laughs. Getting you to steal Angel's baby, now that was a good one."\\

-->'''Justine''' and ''"Wesley'''

->''"It all makes perfect sense now. I was a cheerleader, a princess and a warrior. And I have visions and super powers and I'm the target of an evil law firm because I've spent the last three months living on a higher plane, fighting for the forces of good, who wage a battle against demons and evilies and squishy bug babies, 'cause all that stuff's real and that's the world I live in. And-and I think I know why I don't remember any of this 'cause, hey, [[ItsSucksToBeTheChosenOne who'd want to!]]"''

-->''Lilah''' and '''Angel'''

Funny thing about black and white — you [[GreyAndGreyMorality mix it together and you get gray]]. And it doesn't matter [[AnalogyBackfire how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but gray]]. And I don't see your Texas gal-pal wearing that color. Come to think of it, she prefers'' [[WhereDaWhiteWomenAt black]]."''

(smirking) "Like you."\\

"Yeah, the evil ones can't pull it off. It gets camp."''\\

'''Wesley:''' We have to pass through the corridor without [[BoobyTrap ringing any of the bells]]."\\

"Defy'' who? ''A big scary voice? Whoa, hey, I got one of those, too. You wanna hear it?'' (cups his hands over his mouth)'' YOU CAN [[PunctuatedForEmphasis KISS - MY - VAMPIRE - ASS!]]"

[chuckles] ''"[[{{Understatement}} That's probably not a good idea]]."

"[[{{Understatement}} Can't say we like you much]]."\\

-->Strega, ''TelevisionWithoutPity''

"Didn't think I would. But Gavin, he was more accommodating."''\\

''"Couldn't you have at least tortured him a little bit more?"''\\

(gesturing to a bound and gagged Gavin)\\
''"Couldn't you have at least tortured him a little bit more?"''

->''"The great Wesley Wyndham-Price, the shining beacon of all that's good and pure. But wait, no! That's before he started [[DatingCatwoman banging the enemy]] [[GoGoEnsavement and keeping slave-girl in his closet]]."\\

"Thanks, Swami, [[IceCreamKoan I'll meditate on that.]]"''

"You called this a 'relationship'."

"I am Manjet. [[TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard Sacred guardian of the Shen, keeper of the Orb of Ma'at, and devotee of light]]. Off hours I like [[SomeCalMeTim Manny]]."''

->''"[[WeCanRuleTogether We could rule this world]]. Why do you oppose me?]]\\

"Hey, man, you're preaching to the guy who ate the choir."

"Defy'' who? ''A big scary voice? Whoa, hey, I got one of those, too. You wanna hear it?'' (cups his hands over his mouth)'' YOU CAN [[PunctuatedForEmphasis KISS - MY - VAMPIRE - ASS!]]"''

"Well, that was worth a couple of yuks, too."

(gesturing to a bound and gagged Gavin)

'''Wesley:''' We have to pass through the corridor without [[BoobyTrap ringing any of the bells]]."

->"We just gotta find a way to [[EndlessNight bring back the sun]]."\\

->"Yeah, soul-boy. Nice job, bringing the sun back." ''(turns around to see Angelus)'' Oh-- hey! Angelus! Buy you a warm one?"\\

"Wait! [[BlatantLies I have a condition]]. [[TourettesShitcockSyndrome Whoop! Goh, boy! Dirty bitch!]] Tourettes. You've heard of it, right?"

->''"YOU would dare to defy ME?!"
"Defy who? A big scary voice? Whoa, hey, I got one of those, too. You wanna hear it?'' (cups his hands over his mouth)'' YOU CAN [[PunctuatedForEmphasis KISS - MY - VAMPIRE - ASS!]]"''

"Sworn enemy? Really? Have we met? [[UnknownRival Because I don't remember swearing]]."

"[[NotHelpingYourCase Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog!]]"''

->"Say mom, when I disappeared, did you notice anything...odd?"\\
"We noticed [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing much feasting and celebration]]. Your brother Numfar performed the [[HappyDance dance of joy]] for three moons. ''(shouts to a boy in the background)'' [[JossWhedon NUMFAR!]] DO THE DANCE OF JOY!"''

"I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of [[ThatCameOutWrong being a dick]]. ''(beat)'' Uh, erm, [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock."\\

'''Wesley:''' ''(as Angel)'' But my gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...\\

->''"My son has a tiny scratch on his cheek, and now, [[RevengeByProxy by extraordinary coincidence]] so do you. I'm holding you personally responsible for anything that happens to him whether it's your fault or not. Cold, sunburn, scratched knee, what ever happens to him, happens to you'', and then some. ''For not only are you not coming after him, you gonna make sure that he lives a long, healthy life. You [[BadNewsInAGoodWay just became his godfather]] -- Understand?"\\

(Cordelia walks by and [[{{Ahem}} clears her throat]])\\
"Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities."

"Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's-- it's like another world. Gunn, [[TotallyRadical these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out!]]"\\
"Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust."''

"Dude, Hockey is the'' whitest ''sport known to man."\\
"That may be, but the games are indoors and'' usually ''at night."

"Dude, Hockey is the WHITEST sport known to man."\\
"That's as may be, but the games are indoors and'' usually ''at night."