History PlayingWith / AffairHair

** Alice finds a male hair (''how'' she even knows it belongs to a man is a guess as good as mine). When Bob comes home, he is greeted at the door with Alice shrieking various homophobic slurs at him.

** Alice finds a male hair. When Bob comes home, he is greeted at the door with Alice shrieking various homophobic slurs at him.

** Alice and Bob have agreed to allow each other to have discreet liaisons. When Alice shows Bob the hair, her only problem is that he is not being discrete.

** Bob *is* cheating, but carefully destroys or gets rid of any evidence; he uses a lint roller to remove any foreign hairs from his clothes, he lets his mistress dispose of the condoms they used ([[FridgeHorror or simply doesn't use them]]), covers up his mistress' perfume with copious amounts of his own cologne, uses [[YouWannaGetSued one of those detergent markers]] to get rid of lipstick stains (or does his own laundry), deletes his emails and text messages, pays for everything either with cash or a credit card ''not'' shared with Alice (or lets his mistress foot the bills), and acts super sweet to Alice so she won't suspect anything.

** Alice had multiple reasons to suspect Bob of cheating, such as coming home late and showing general disinterest in their marriage. It's the hair that confirms that the affair was with her [[EtTuBrute best friend Claire]], who Alice confided with about her suspicions, and assured her that Bob would do no such thing.

* '''Inverted''': Alice finds all sorts of signs that Bob is cheating, but still believes Bob is faithful to her.

** Alice finds a hair on Bob's clothes and thinks [[FridgeBrilliance Bob must be cheating on her]], then remembers that it's her own hair which She dyed it blonde last week.)

** Alice finds a hair and has it forensically analyzed. She then discretely gathers hairs from various female neighbors, friends, and coworkers to compare with the sample strand.

** Alice and Bob have agreed to allow each other to have discrete liaisons. When Alice shows Bob the hair, her only problem is that he is not being discrete.

** Bob [[YourCheatingHeart *is* cheating]], but carefully destroys or gets rid of any evidence; he uses a lint roller to remove any foreign hairs from his clothes, he lets his mistress dispose of the condoms they used ([[FridgeHorror or simply doesn't use them]]), covers up his mistress' perfume with copious amounts of his own cologne, uses [[YouWannaGetSued one of those detergent markers]] to get rid of lipstick stains (or does his own laundry), deletes his emails and text messages, pays for everything either with cash or a credit card ''not'' shared with Alice (or lets his mistress foot the bills), and acts super sweet to Alice so she won't suspect anything.

** Alice had multiple reasons to suspect Bob of cheating, such as coming home late and showing general disinterest in their marriage. It's the hair that confirms that the affair was with her [[EuTuBrute best friend Claire]], who Alice confided with about her suspicions, and assured her that Bob would do no such thing.

** Alice smells whiff of perfume that isn't hers, lipstick on Bob's collar, a used condom in the trash after weeks of Bob "working late" on an almost nightly basis, and unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card. She still suspects nothing is amiss. On the way back from the grocery store and dropping the kids off at practice, Alice passes several billboards with messages along the lines of "Is He Cheating on You?" and movies about cheating, and a skywriter writes, "Alice, Bob is cheating!" in giant letters the whole town can see in the sky. And she goes to the doctor for burning and unusual discharge "down there," which the doctor straight-up tells her is from an STD, yet Alice hasn't had sex with anyone other than Bob in ''years'', if ever. Yet Alice ''still'' doesn't think anything is wrong until she finds a strange hair.

* '''Deconstructed''':
** Finding the hair leads to Alice panicking, and the end of their marriage, and lots of ContemplateOurNavels (e.g. [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone where did I go wrong?]], am I [[HollywoodHomely not hot enough?]], am I boring? etc.) Bob may [[KarmaHoudini or may not]] [[LaserGuidedKarma get his comeuppance for cheating]].
** Bob may or may not be cheating; Alice has driven herself crazy and ruined her marriage, and has no evidence besides the hair that anything actually happened.

* '''Downplayed''': Alice finds a hair on Bob's jacket that's a slightly different shade than hers, but could have come from him, maybe. She needs more evidence.

** It turns out that (after a few too many beers), Bob and Claire did it on the sofa when Alice was out of the room.

** Alice mistakes an AffairHair for a strand of her own.
** Alice smells whiff of perfume that isn't hers, lipstick on Bob's collar,a used condom in the trash after weeks of Bob "working late" on an almost nightly basis, and unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card. She still suspects nothing is amiss. On the way back from the grocery store and dropping the kids off at practice, Alice passes several billboards with messages along the lines of "Is He Cheating on You?" and movies about cheating, and a skywriter writes, "Alice, Bob is cheating!" in giant letters the whole town can see in the sky. And she goes to the doctor for burning and unusual discharge "down there," which the doctor straight-up tells her is from an STD, yet Alice hasn't had sex with anyone other than Bob in ''years'', if ever. Yet Alice ''still'' doesn't think anything is wrong, until she finds a strange hair.
* '''Zig Zagged''': Alice finds a long, blonde hair, and accuses Bob of cheating... But Bob isn't cheating at all, and proves it. Alice apologizes... But it turns out she knew exactly who the hair belonged to the whole time, as ''she's'' the one who's been cheating, and just accused Bob so he wouldn't suspect that Alice was sleeping with another woman.

** Alice smells whiff of perfume that isn't hers, lipstick on Bob's collar,a used condom in the trash after weeks of Bob "working late" on an almost nightly basis, and unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card. She still suspects nothing is amiss. On the way back from the grocery store and dropping the kids off at practice, Alice passes several billboards with messages along the lines of "Is He Cheating on You?" and movies about cheating, and a skywriter writes, "Alice, Bob is cheating!" in giant letters the whole town can see in the sky. And she goes to the doctor for burning and unusual discharge "down there," which the doctor straight-up tells her is from an STD, yet Alice hasn't had sex with anyone other than Bob in ''years'', if ever. Yet Alice ''still'' doesn't think anything is wrong, until she finds a strange hair.

** Alice finds not only the hair, but some lipstick and a whiff of perfume, neither of which is her colour/fragrance. Later that day, she finds a used condom in the trash, when she and Bob haven't had sex in months (or don't use condoms).
** Alice finds a lot of hair on Bob's jacket. Turns out Bob has a CatGirl (who is shedding) for a mistress.

** Alice finds the other woman draped over Bob's shoulders.

* '''Inverted''': Alice finds all sorts of signs that Bob is cheating (not the least of which is a strand of blonde hair, see "Exaggerated 1"), but still believes Bob is faithful to her.

** The hair (found on the sofa) belongs to [[GirlNextDoor their neighbor, Claire]], who sat on the sofa during the Super Bowl party last night.
** Alice takes it as an indicator that [[FirstGrayHair she's going gray]] and panics about ''that''.

** Alice jumps to the conclusion that the hair she found is an indicator of Bob seeing another woman, but then remembers that it's ''her'' hair.

** Alice finds a strand of someone else's hair, a whiff of perfume that isn't hers, lipstick on Bob's collar, ''and'' a used condom in the trash after weeks of Bob "working late" on an almost nightly basis, ''and'' unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card. She still suspects nothing is amiss. On the way back from the grocery store and dropping the kids off at practice, Alice passes several billboards with messages along the lines of "Is He Cheating on You?" and movies about cheating, and a skywriter writes, "Alice, Bob is cheating!" in giant letters the whole town can see in the sky. And she goes to the doctor for burning and unusual discharge "down there," which the doctor straight-up tells her is from an STD, yet Alice hasn't had sex with anyone other than Bob in ''years'', if ever. Alice ''still'' doesn't think anything is wrong.

** Worse, Bob may or may not be cheating; Alice has driven herself crazy and ruined her marriage, and has no evidence besides the hair that anything actually happened.

** Alice finds a hair on Bob's clothes and thinks [[FridgeBrilliance Bob must be cheating on her]], then remembers that it's her own hair. (She dyed it blonde last week.)

* '''Played For Drama''': When Alice confronts Bob with the hair (or other evidence), Bob admits to cheating. They either decide to end the marriage, or attempt to salvage it (but whether they do or not, their relationship will never be the same). Possibly [[{{Yandere}} Alice]] goes on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge, but [[MurderTheHypotenuse not against Bob]] (bonus points if [[NiceJobBreakingItHero it was a case of]] MistakenForCheating).

** Alice finds a ''lot'' of hair on Bob's jacket. Turns out Bob has a CatGirl (who is shedding) for a mistress.

** Alice finds a ''pubic'' hair.

** Alice doesn't find a hair, but she does find unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card for what appear to be hotels, flowers, dinners at upscale restaurants, etc., like whoever made them was trying to woo someone else. Rather than suspecting her husband of cheating, though, Alice assumes that the credit card was stolen or otherwise compromised.
** Alice has symptoms of itching and burning in her nether regions, accompanied by painful urination and unusual pus-like discharge. She doesn't think it could be an STD, because she hasn't had sex with anyone other than Bob since before they got married years ago, or maybe ''never'' did, and the thought of Bob cheating, picking up an STD, and infecting her never crosses her mind, because "Bob would never do something like that!" She just assumes it's a run-of-the-mill UTI or yeast infection.
** Bob's phone rings, and it's a call or a text from a number Alice doesn't recognize. She just assumes it's a wrong number, or one of Bob's friends.

** AliceAndBob weren't victims of identity theft. It turns out Bob was seeing another woman, and [[WhatAnIdiot using the credit card to pay for wining and dining her]].
** She goes to urgent care or her OB/GYN to get something for her burning problem, and is told that she has gonorrhea. The doctor advises her to notify anyone she's had sex with recently so that they can get tested and treated, and Alice replies that she's only had sex with her husband. She then puts two and two together, and realizes that Bob has been fooling around.
** The number belongs to a woman Bob has been carrying on a SecretRelationship with for ''years''.
** Except that cat died ''years'' ago, when Alice and Bob were living in an apartment before they got married and bought the house. It turns out it really is from Bob's mistress.

** Alice finds a strand of someone else's hair, a whiff of perfume that isn't hers, lipstick on Bob's collar, ''and'' a used condom in the trash after weeks of Bob "working late" on an almost nightly basis, ''and'' unusual charges on her and Bob's credit card. She still suspects nothing is amiss. On the way back from the grocery store and dropping the kids off at practice, Alice passes several billboards with messages along the lines of "Is He Cheating on You?" and movies about cheating, and a skywriter writes, "Alice, Bob is cheating!" in giant letters the whole town can see in the sky. Alice ''still'' doesn't think anything is wrong.

** Bob [[YourCheatingHeart *is* cheating]], but carefully destroys or gets rid of any evidence; he uses a lint roller to remove any foreign hairs from his clothes, he lets his mistress dispose of the condoms they used ([[FridgeHorror or simply doesn't use them]]), covers up his mistress' perfume with copious amounts of his own cologne, uses [[YouWannaGetSued one of those detergent markers]] to get rid of lipstick stains (or does his own laundry), deletes his emails and text messages, and acts super sweet to Alice so she won't suspect anything.

* '''Subverted''': The hair (found on the sofa) belongs to [[GirlNextDoor their neighbor, Claire]], who sat on the sofa during the Super Bowl party last night.

* '''Double Subverted''': It turns out that (after a few too many beers), Bob and Claire did it on the sofa when Alice was out of the room.

* '''Defied''': Bob [[YourCheatingHeart *is* cheating]], but carefully destroys or gets rid of any evidence; he uses a lint roller to remove any foreign hairs from his clothes, he lets his mistress dispose of the condoms they used ([[FridgeHorror or simply doesn't use them]]), covers up his mistress' perfume with copious amounts of his own cologne, uses [[YouWannaGetSued one of those detergent markers]] to get rid of lipstick stains (or does his own laundry), deletes his emails and text messages, and acts super sweet to Alice so she won't suspect anything.

* '''Deconstructed''': Finding the hair leads to Alice panicking, and the end of their marriage, and lots of ContemplateOurNavels (e.g. [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone where did I go wrong?]], am I [[HollywoodHomely not hot enough?]], am I boring? etc.) Bob may [[KarmaHoudini or may not]] [[LaserGuidedKarma get his comeuppance for cheating]].

* '''Inverted''':
** Bob finds a blond hair on Alice's jacket.
** Alice finds all sorts of signs that Bob is cheating (not the least of which is a strand of blonde hair, see "Exaggerated 1"), but still believes Bob is faithful to her.

** Alice finds a hair on Bob's clothes and thinks [[FridgeBrilliance Bob must be cheating on her]], then remembers that it's her hair. (She dyed it blonde last week.) [[IdiotBall Or that it's Bob's hair.]]

* '''Played For Laughs''': Alice grabs the IdiotBall and mistakes her own hair, or Bob's, for AffairHair.

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%% Optional items, added after Conversed, at your discretion:
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%%* '''Plotted A Good Waste''': ???

* '''Straight''': [[BrainyBrunette Alice]] is doing laundry, and finds a long, blond hair on [[LazyHusband Bob]]'s jacket. This indicates to her that Bob is cheating on her; where else could that hair have come from?

** Alice finds not only the hair, but some lipstick and a whiff of perfume. Later that day, she finds a used condom in the trash, when she and Bob haven't had sex in months (or don't use condoms).
** Alice finds a ''lot'' of hair on Bob's jacket. Turns out Bob has a {{Catgirl}} (who is shedding) for a mistress.

* '''Justified''': Alice needs evidence before she goes off accusing her husband of cheating on her, and an obviously foreign hair strand can be a good indicator.

** Bob finds blonde hair on Alice's jacket.
** Alice finds all sorts of signs that Bob is cheating (not the least of which is a strand of blond hair, see "exaggerated"), but still believes Bob is faithful to her.

** Alice finds a hair on Bob's clothes and thinks [[FridgeBrilliance Bob must be cheating on her]], then remembers that it's her hair. (She dyed it blond last week.) [[IdiotBall Or that it's Bob's hair.]]

* '''Defied''': Bob [[YourCheatingHeart *is* cheating]], but carefully destroys or gets rid of any evidence; he uses a lint roller to remove any foreign hairs from his clothes, he lets his mistress dispose of the condoms they used ([[FridgeHorror or simply doesn't use them]]), covers up his mistress' perfume with copious amounts of his own cologne, uses [[YouWannaGetSued one of those detergent markers]] to get rid of lipstick stains (or does his own laundry), deletes his emails and text messages, and acts super sweet to Alice so she won't suspect anything.

* '''Played For Laughs''': Alice grabs the IdiotBall and mistakes her own hair, or Bob's hair for AffairHair.

* '''Conversed''': "Oh look, she found a hair. I haven't [[SeenItAMillionTimes seen this a million times]] before."