History Main / TheUtterlyAndCompletelyDefinitiveGuideToCool

* CoolPet

* NiceShoes

* The Rule of the Doctor: The Doctor has the Cool that's Cold, so if [[Series/DoctorWho the Doctor]] says something is cool, it is, by definition, cool. This includes [[NiceHat Fezzes]] and Bowties.

* NiceHat

* LoveableRogue

* FingerlessGloves

* CrazyAwesome

Not much is known about these times, or at least, [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement not much we can say without pissing various people off]]. However, among the [[MemeticBadass indisputably cool]] people in this time period were UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt, UsefulNotes/NikolaTesla, ComicBook/CaptainAmerica, Creator/ChuckNorris, [[Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], and UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill.

While Japan was having NinjaPirateZombieRobot battles for the lulz, various other nations were trying to out-cool each other (Except the United States, who had already cornered the market on New World Cool). So two groups of nations (known as the Allied and Central Powers) agreed that they each outCool their rivals by holding the biggest party ever. And that was cool too. At least, until Archduke Ferdinand (who was only kinda Cool, because he had a Cool name at least) was shot by some random jerk, leading to the largest bar fight known to man (also known as UsefulNotes/WorldWarI). It was cool at first, but soon people got tired of it, and just wanted to go home. Except America, who decided [[AmericaSavesTheDay they wanted in on the action as well]], but were barely getting rolling when it fell apart.

Not much is known about these times, or at least, [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement not much we can say without pissing various people off]]. However, among the [[MemeticBadass indisputably cool]] people in this time period were UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt, UsefulNotes/NikolaTesla, ComicBook/CaptainAmerica, Creator/ChuckNorris, [[Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], and UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill.

Then times changed and Cool became Chivalric Cool. The [[Myth/ArthurianLegend Knights of the Round Table]] and the [[Literature/TheSongOfRoland Companions of Roland]] were Cool, but it was a different kind of Cool. For them, Cool didn't lie in wisdom or social responsibility, it lay in chivalry. Chivalry was partly bravery and strength, but it was as much gallantry, physical prowess, and especially, honor. Chivalric Cool was about being LawfulGood and badass, or rather ''Good''ass. Chivalric Cool is also when Cool begins to be available to women, [[ProperLady if they are sufficiently graceful, beautiful, and honorable]]. Guinevere was kind of Cool. She wasn't entirely there, but she was close. The fact that she cheated on Arthur kept her from being entirely Cool at the time. Historical figures like Nest ferch Cadell, Emperor Irene, St. Jadwiga, and Jeann D'Arc were, however, totally Cool. Eleanor of Aquitaine was not only massively Cool herself, but she contributed to the formalization of Chivalric Cool by encouraging troubadours and ''jongleurs'' to write songs and poems celebrating it. Fragments of Chivalric Cool remain in Fashion Cool, with plate armor (the armor of the knights) being Cooler than mail, which is Cooler than leather, which is Cooler than fabric; and in Techno Cool, with swords always being Cool, and clubs rarely being Cool.

Then times changed and Cool became Chivalric Cool. The [[ArthurianLegend Knights of the Round Table]] and the [[Literature/TheSongOfRoland Companions of Roland]] were Cool, but it was a different kind of Cool. For them, Cool didn't lie in wisdom or social responsibility, it lay in chivalry. Chivalry was partly bravery and strength, but it was as much gallantry, physical prowess, and especially, honor. Chivalric Cool was about being LawfulGood and badass, or rather ''Good''ass. Chivalric Cool is also when Cool begins to be available to women, [[ProperLady if they are sufficiently graceful, beautiful, and honorable]]. Guinevere was kind of Cool. She wasn't entirely there, but she was close. The fact that she cheated on Arthur kept her from being entirely Cool at the time. Historical figures like Nest ferch Cadell, Emperor Irene, St. Jadwiga, and Jeann D'Arc were, however, totally Cool. Eleanor of Aquitaine was not only massively Cool herself, but she contributed to the formalization of Chivalric Cool by encouraging troubadours and ''jongleurs'' to write songs and poems celebrating it. Fragments of Chivalric Cool remain in Fashion Cool, with plate armor (the armor of the knights) being Cooler than mail, which is Cooler than leather, which is Cooler than fabric; and in Techno Cool, with swords always being Cool, and clubs rarely being Cool.

While Japan was having NinjaPirateZombieRobot battles for the lulz, various other nations were trying to out-cool each other (Except the United States, who had already cornered the market on New World Cool). So two groups of nations (known as the Allied and Central Powers) agreed that they each outCool their rivals by holding the biggest party ever. And that was cool too. At least, until Archduke Ferdinand (who was only kinda Cool, because he had a Cool name at least) was shot by some random jerk, leading to the largest bar fight known to man (also known as WorldWarOne). It was cool at first, but soon people got tired of it, and just wanted to go home. Except America, who decided [[AmericaSavesTheDay they wanted in on the action as well]], but were barely getting rolling when it fell apart.

* CoolSpaceship

* The Rule of the Doctor: The Doctor has the Cool that's Cold, so if [[Series/DoctorWho the Doctor]] says something is cool, it is, by definition, cool. This includes [[NiceHat Fezzes]] and [[BowtiesAreCool Bowties.]]

* BowtiesAreCool

Meanwhile, Japan was developing their own brand of Cool. First they had {{Samurai}}, and they were Cool, but were overshadowed by the fact that {{Ninja}}s were even Cooler. Both knew that KatanasAreJustBetter. Then [[MiyamotoMusashi one Samurai]] got savvy to the fact that WoodenKatanasAreEvenBetter, [[DifficultButAwesome and that allowed those few Samurai who were skilled enough]] to [[NerfArm actually use them as lethal weapons]] to compete with the Ninja on their level of Cool. Eventually, however, Japanese scientists started developing HumongousMecha so they'd be invited to the same parties that the Samurai and Ninjas went to. That ended up backfiring, however, because it was the kids they paid to pilot their mecha that ended up being the ones invited to the parties in their stead.

Then times changed and Cool became Chivalric Cool. The [[ArthurianLegend Knights of the Round Table]] and the [[Literature/TheSongOfRoland Companions of Roland]] were Cool, but it was a different kind of Cool. For them, Cool didn't lie in wisdom or social responsibility, it lay in chivalry. Chivalry was partly bravery and strength, but it was as much gallantry, physical prowess, and especially, honor. Chivalric Cool was about being LawfulGood and BadAss, or rather ''Good''ass. Chivalric Cool is also when Cool begins to be available to women, [[ProperLady if they are sufficiently graceful, beautiful, and honorable]]. Guinevere was kind of Cool. She wasn't entirely there, but she was close. The fact that she cheated on Arthur kept her from being entirely Cool at the time. Historical figures like Nest ferch Cadell, Emperor Irene, St. Jadwiga, and Jeann D'Arc were, however, totally Cool. Eleanor of Aquitaine was not only massively Cool herself, but she contributed to the formalization of Chivalric Cool by encouraging troubadours and ''jongleurs'' to write songs and poems celebrating it. Fragments of Chivalric Cool remain in Fashion Cool, with plate armor (the armor of the knights) being Cooler than mail, which is Cooler than leather, which is Cooler than fabric; and in Techno Cool, with swords always being Cool, and clubs rarely being Cool.

* {{Badass}}

Not much is known about these times, or at least, [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement not much we can say without pissing various people off]]. However, among the [[MemeticBadass indisputably cool]] people in this time period were UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt, UsefulNotes/NikolaTesla, ComicBook/CaptainAmerica, Creator/ChuckNorris, [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], and UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill.

When did Cool begin? Probably long before there were even words. Cool as it often means now was popularized by Miles Davis when he made the album "Birth of The Cool" in 1957[[note]]Creator/StephenFry was born in 1957, therefore he is cool. If that wasn't already obvious.[[/note]], but it was used in the same sense by musicians as far back as the 1930s. One thing all varieties of Cool have in common is that Cool is a status that others give to you, rather than one you can claim for yourself -- if you have to say that you're cool, you aren't.

[[Myth/MesopotamianMythology Gilgamesh]] was Cool. He was handsome, he was manly, he was physically perfect. He was strong and brave and a leader, and trustworthy. He was fearless and almost always in control of the situation, whatever the situation might be. And if he wasn't in control, he didn't let on.

Not much is known about these times, or at least, [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement not much we can say without pissing various people off]]. However, among the [[MemeticBadass indisputably cool]] people in this time period were UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt, UsefulNotes/NikolaTesla, CaptainAmerica, Creator/ChuckNorris, [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], and WinstonChurchill.

When did Cool begin? Probably long before there were even words. Cool as it often means now was popularized by Miles Davis when he made the album "Birth of The Cool" in 1957[[note]]StephenFry was born in 1957, therefore he is cool. If that wasn't already obvious.[[/note]], but it was used in the same sense by musicians as far back as the 1930s. One thing all varieties of Cool have in common is that Cool is a status that others give to you, rather than one you can claim for yourself -- if you have to say that you're cool, you aren't.

* scoff*

Pfah.

After Chivalric Cool came Aristocratic Cool, the first Cold Cool. Aristocratic Cool is stiff-upper-lip, don't-let-them-see-you-sweat, never-admit-that-you-feel-anything-strongly Cool. It's Cool that gives the appearance of being a bit removed from the world that less-Cool people inhabit. It's Cool that says "I am in control of the situation." It's the Cool of the Three Musketeers and Cyrano de Bergerac, of Machiavelli and The Scarlet Pimpernel, of Dracula and Sherlock Holmes. It's the Cool of Oscar Wilde, Beau Brummel, James Bond and Greta Garbo. This kind of Cool gave rise to the MagnificentBastard archetype, where a villain is Aristocratic Cool and ''knows'' it.

Not much is known about these times, or at least, [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement not much we can say without pissing various people off]]. However, among the [[MemeticBadass indisputably cool]] people in this time period were UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt, NikolaTesla, CaptainAmerica, Creator/ChuckNorris, [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], and WinstonChurchill.

Once the dust had settled from WWII's WeaponOfMassDestruction (The Atom Bomb, which is still considered Cool in some places, not including Japan), it was obvious that any direct confrontation between global superpowers would result in the annihilation of both countries, albeit in the most awesome explosion ever. To this end the ColdWar began, signaling the end to the Dark Age of Cool.