History Main / LameComeback

18th Nov '17 10:11:55 PM Vox
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--->'''Captain Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!\\

to:

--->'''Captain Rum''': Aaah, Damn courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!\\



'''Captain Rum''': So you ''do'' have some spunk in you!

to:

'''Captain Rum''': Haha! So you ''do'' have some spunk in you!
3rd Oct '17 5:51:34 PM Linda58
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* In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/works/8793565/chapters/20159878 How the Light Gets In]]'': Laurel and Dean start to get hot and heavy (outside her father's apartment no less) only for Sara to deliberately interrupt them, and get them back on track:
-->'''Sara:''' I get it. You're horny. But you're standing right outside our dad's apartment. Also, you were holding the doughnuts hostage. ''(takes doughnuts)'' You can be gross later .
-->'''Dean:''' You...Your ''face'' is gross. ''(long pause as both Sara and Laurel look at him in disappointment)'' It's been a long day.''
-->'''Laurel:''' That's no excuse.
-->'''Sara:''' Mary[[note]]Mary is Dean and Laurel's four year-old daughter[[/note]] could do better than that.
23rd Sep '17 8:45:30 AM ironballs16
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** The plot of one episode was George regretting not using a [[ComebackTomorrow good comeback on a guy who burned him]]. The comeback was "The jerk store called, and they're running out of you." (in response to 'George, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp' because George was stuffing his face with shrimp) He's so proud of this that he travels to a city he doesn't want to go to, and makes an ass of himself again, just so the guy will insult him again so he can make this comeback. After all that, the guy deflects it in two seconds with "what does it matter? You're their all-time best seller!". The best that George can come up with in response is 'Oh yeah? Well...I had sex with your wife!' to which George is told that his wife is in a coma. By the end of the episode George is racing back to the airport having come up with yet another comeback.

to:

** The plot of one episode was George regretting not using a [[ComebackTomorrow good comeback on a guy who burned him]]. The comeback was "The jerk store called, and they're running out of you." (in response to 'George, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp' because George was stuffing his face with shrimp) He's so proud of this that he travels to a city he doesn't want to go to, and makes an ass of himself again, just so the guy will insult him again so he can make this comeback. After all that, the guy deflects it in two seconds with "what does it matter? You're their all-time best seller!". The best that George can come up with in response is 'Oh yeah? Well...I had sex with your wife!' to which George is told that his wife is in a coma. By the end of the episode [[HereWeGoAgain George is racing back to the airport having come up with yet another comeback.comeback]].
28th Jul '17 3:36:27 PM Metallix
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* From ''WesternAnimation/TheAmazingWorldOfGumball'' in "The Rerun":
-->'''Rob''': Now it's time for you to lose your-\\
'''Gumball''': ''[tackles Rob]'' No! Time for you to lose your- uh... Just... lose... Sorry, I literally have the whole day to think of something good for that.
23rd Jul '17 11:28:39 PM Nulono
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[[folder:Advertising]]
* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_GgUNF5sTA I'm not a chicken; you're a turkey!]]"
[[/folder]]
12th Jun '17 9:25:23 AM merotoker
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* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This]] 'Marvel / DC' spoof:
--> '''Nightwing''': You're nothing but a hack, [=McGinnis=]!
--> '''[[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond Terry McGinnis]]''': You got issues, Dick.
--> '''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person.



* ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'': "Well...double dumbass on you!" {{Justified}} because it's a time-traveling James Kirk talking and proper use of 20th century slang isn't exactly part of the Starfleet Academy curriculum.

to:

* ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'': "Well...double dumbass on you!" {{Justified}} {{Justified|Trope}} because it's a time-traveling James Kirk talking and proper use of 20th century slang isn't exactly part of the Starfleet Academy curriculum.



* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3v0ZaZn23I This]] segment from ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC'':
--> '''ComicBook/{{Nightwing}}''': You're nothing but a hack, [=McGinnis=]!
--> '''[[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond Terry McGinnis]]''': You got issues, Dick.
--> '''Nightwing''': No ''you're'' the... issues person.



* WesternAnimation/{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}

to:

* WesternAnimation/{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}''WesternAnimation/{{SpongeBob SquarePants}}''
2nd Apr '17 5:11:27 PM Kartoonkid95
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* ''Series/FullHouse'': Danny makes one in "The House Meets the Mouse", when he is chiding Michelle over her behavior towards her sisters.
-->'''Danny:''' Sounds like you were trying to be the boss.
-->'''Michelle:''' The princess ''is'' the boss!
-->'''Danny:''' ''Music/BruceSpringsteen'' is the boss![[note]]His nickname really is "The Boss".[[/note]]
19th Mar '17 1:00:38 PM redandready45
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* In ''FanFic/TheVerySecretDiary'', Ginny is able to deduce Tom Riddle's [[DarkAndTroubledPast past]], and point blank tells him why she ''doesn't'' feel sorry for him at all.
--> '''Ginny''': [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I have been thinking. Harry is an orphan, and he is not horrible. And Prissy has everything she wants, and she is still nasty. So I do not know how much it counts. I cannot work out what is wrong with you]].
--> '''Tom''': Get. Out.
17th Dec '16 5:03:56 PM StarSword
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* ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'': "Well...double dumbass on you!"

to:

* ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'': "Well...double dumbass on you!"you!" {{Justified}} because it's a time-traveling James Kirk talking and proper use of 20th century slang isn't exactly part of the Starfleet Academy curriculum.



--> '''Peggy''': "I faked all of those orgasms! '[[TheImmodestOrgasm Aaah! Aaaaaah! Oooooh! YESSS!]]' Sound familiar?"
--> '''Roger''': "Oh yeah?! Well I faked... all of mine... too."

to:

--> '''Peggy''': "I faked all of those orgasms! '[[TheImmodestOrgasm Aaah! Aaaaaah! Oooooh! YESSS!]]' Sound familiar?"
-->
familiar?"\\
'''Roger''': "Oh yeah?! Well I faked... all of mine... too."



--> '''Senator Claxton''': You're going to wish you never got off that plane.
--> '''Jay Garvey''': Well, you're going to wish you never got off ''your''... plane.

to:

--> '''Senator Claxton''': You're going to wish you never got off that plane.
-->
plane.\\
'''Jay Garvey''': Well, you're going to wish you never got off ''your''... plane.



-->'''Liu Jian:''' I put a needle in your neck.
-->'''Richard:''' That's it?
-->'''Liu Jian:''' In a certain point. Very forbidden. It's called the [[TitleDrop Kiss of the Dragon]].
-->'''Richard:''' [[LastWords Kiss my ass!]]

to:

-->'''Liu Jian:''' I put a needle in your neck.
-->'''Richard:'''
neck.\\
'''Richard:'''
That's it?
-->'''Liu
it?\\
'''Liu
Jian:''' In a certain point. Very forbidden. It's called the [[TitleDrop Kiss of the Dragon]].
-->'''Richard:'''
Dragon]].\\
'''Richard:'''
[[LastWords Kiss my ass!]]



-->'''Serpine:''' Where are your oh-so-clever taunts now?
-->'''Skulduggery:''' You've got big ears!

to:

-->'''Serpine:''' Where are your oh-so-clever taunts now?
-->'''Skulduggery:'''
now?\\
'''Skulduggery:'''
You've got big ears!
17th Dec '16 5:01:27 PM StarSword
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* [[Literature/KateDaniels Kate's]] banter tends to be hit-and-miss. When she's on her game, she's pretty witty. When she's off-balance, her inner monologue and the people around her are perfectly willing to point out how embarrassed she should be.

to:

* [[Literature/KateDaniels Kate's]] Literature/KateDaniels's banter tends to be hit-and-miss. When she's on her game, she's pretty witty. When she's off-balance, her inner monologue and the people around her are perfectly willing to point out how embarrassed she should be.



--> '''Holly:''' That's right, Mud Boy. Play time's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy, I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back.
--> '''Artemis:''' ''(some time later)'' I don't like lollipops.

to:

--> '''Holly:''' That's right, Mud Boy. Play time's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy, I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back.
-->
back.\\
'''Artemis:''' ''(some time later)'' I don't like lollipops.



--> '''Louis:''' Says the guy with a towel on his dick.
--> '''Angel:''' It's a big towel.

to:

--> '''Louis:''' Says the guy with a towel on his dick. \n--> \\
'''Angel:''' It's a big towel. towel.
* In ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}: The Android'', Marco is on the receiving end of a barb from Rachel, and all he can come up with in return is, "Yeah, well... [[StatuesqueStunner you're really tall]]." Marco then narrates something to the effect of: somehow this brilliant comeback did not reduce Rachel to tears.



--> '''Henry:''' Oh, and one more thing. Bryn, for someone with such a large welcome mat, you arenít very welcoming. Burn returned, mídear.
--> '''Bryn:''' ''That's'' your burn? How long did it take you to come up with that?
* ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' did this a couple of times despite usually being very good with a comeback.
-->'''Captain Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!\\

to:

--> '''Henry:''' Oh, and one more thing. Bryn, for someone with such a large welcome mat, you arenít very welcoming. Burn returned, mídear.
-->
mídear.\\
'''Bryn:''' ''That's'' your burn? How long did it take you to come up with that?
* ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'' ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'': The various incarnations of Edmund Blackadder did this a couple of few times despite being usually being very good quite quick with a comeback.
-->'''Captain
comeback:
** In ''Blackadder II'':
--->'''Captain
Rum''': Aaah, courtiers to the Queen, you're nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!\\



-->'''Sam''': Can I just say ''I'' was the one who was in trouble? I was the one under siege, it was ''my'' picture in the paper and I don't know why I need to call you and explain myself.
-->'''Mallory''': It was a picture of you and a ''callgirl''.
-->'''Sam''': Oh, like there aren't any pictures of ''you'' and a callgirl.
-->'''Mallory''': No. There aren't any pictures of me and a callgirl.
-->'''Sam''': ... [[GirlOnGirlIsHot Well, that's a crime.]]

to:

-->'''Sam''': Can I just say ''I'' was the one who was in trouble? I was the one under siege, it was ''my'' picture in the paper and I don't know why I need to call you and explain myself.
-->'''Mallory''':
myself.\\
'''Mallory''':
It was a picture of you and a ''callgirl''.
-->'''Sam''':
''callgirl''.\\
'''Sam''':
Oh, like there aren't any pictures of ''you'' and a callgirl.
-->'''Mallory''':
callgirl.\\
'''Mallory''':
No. There aren't any pictures of me and a callgirl.
-->'''Sam''': ...
callgirl.\\
'''Sam''': ...
[[GirlOnGirlIsHot Well, that's a crime.]]



-->'''Josh''': Let's do this: find out what her problem is, solve it and then, I don't know, do something else.
-->'''Donna''': You're the reason there are term limits.
-->'''Josh''': Yeah? You're the reason... Nothing. Nothing's happening. Nothing's there.

to:

-->'''Josh''': Let's do this: find out what her problem is, solve it and then, I don't know, do something else.
-->'''Donna''':
else.\\
'''Donna''':
You're the reason there are term limits.
-->'''Josh''':
limits.\\
'''Josh''':
Yeah? You're the reason... Nothing. Nothing's happening. Nothing's there.



--->'''Tim''': This is something that I've always wanted! You have things you want - you're always going on about going to Asia and seeing the Taj Mahal.
--->'''Daisy''': I ''do'' want to go to Asia! I ''do'' want to see the Taj Mahal! The difference is, the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with its boss behind my back and break my heart!
--->'''Tim''': Yeah, well... it might if you go to Asia.

to:

--->'''Tim''': This is something that I've always wanted! You have things you want - you're always going on about going to Asia and seeing the Taj Mahal.
--->'''Daisy''':
Mahal.\\
'''Daisy''':
I ''do'' want to go to Asia! I ''do'' want to see the Taj Mahal! The difference is, the Taj Mahal didn't sleep with its boss behind my back and break my heart!
--->'''Tim''':
heart!\\
'''Tim''':
Yeah, well... it might if you go to Asia.



---> '''Daisy''': "We don't ''have'' a tumble dryer..."
---> '''Tim''': "You will my friend, you will..."

to:

---> '''Daisy''': "We We don't ''have'' a tumble dryer..."
--->
\\
'''Tim''': "You You will my friend, you will..."



-->''(Sheldon's phone rings)'' '''Leslie:''' Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year.
-->'''Sheldon:''' Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated!

to:

-->''(Sheldon's phone rings)'' '''Leslie:''' Don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as Dumbass Laureate of the year.
-->'''Sheldon:'''
year.\\
'''Sheldon:'''
Oh yeah? Well... you wouldn't even be nominated!



-->'''Ronnie''': I'm going to contact the authorities!
-->'''Micky''': ...You do and I'll be sorry!

to:

-->'''Ronnie''': I'm going to contact the authorities!
-->'''Micky''': ...
authorities!\\
'''Micky''': ...
You do and I'll be sorry!



-->'''Buffy''': Let's be realistic Willow, your basic spells are usually only about 50/50.
-->'''Willow''': Oh yeah? Well... so's your face!

to:

-->'''Buffy''': Let's be realistic Willow, your basic spells are usually only about 50/50.
-->'''Willow''':
50/50.\\
'''Willow''':
Oh yeah? Well... so's your face!



-->'''Spike:''' Back off Betty.
-->'''Buffy:''' [[AccidentalMisnaming It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy.

to:

-->'''Spike:''' Back off Betty.
-->'''Buffy:'''
Betty.\\
'''Buffy:'''
[[AccidentalMisnaming It's Buffy]], you big bleached...stupid guy.



-->'''Spike:''' And, I never really liked you, and, and, and, you have stupid hair.
-->'''Buffy:''' ...

to:

-->'''Spike:''' And, I never really liked you, and, and, and, you have stupid hair.
-->'''Buffy:''' ...
hair.\\
'''Buffy:''' ...
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.LameComeback